"I could use cosmic. If you accept the Big Bang theory, everything on earth sprung up from cosmic debris." Cam mused, frowning just slightly even as she laughed. "I don't think my view is barren, merely realistic. And we're not alone here. We have the basic elements and all other elements that come from them. We have nature, science, everything that ties our world together and makes it function, the symbiosis of the planet, as much as humanity has thrown that symbiosis out of whack. And now I sound like a pagan, saying we should be worshipping the earth and the elements, but I'm no pagan. I merely choose to put my faith in the absolute, the tangible, the cogs of a generator and the gears of a car and a chemical formula that does exactly what it's supposed to do. Anything else just feels... uncomfortable. Too big for me to be a part of."
And that was why Marijuana would likely never tell him about the gods, it would break his logical mind.
But Cam was more focused on the questions, on how clear his mind was and on how Mischa could make him think outside his comfort zone, even if it made him a tad uncomfortable. "Acceptance is different than tolerance." Cam said softly, noting the unconscious move and reminding himself to tread lightly. And it's not exactly weakness I'm talking about accepting. But accepting the... cruelty that can come with love. The pleasure a lover can take in hurting you emotionally while still loving you." But perhaps Cam was speaking too much from experience and he shrugged again. "It's a balance; love is. And I still don't think that balance can be summed up in one look, whenever it occurs. But the beginning of love? When you see a person after knowing them for some time and everything just falls into place and you know that you could have something with them? Yes. That's not false hope."
Cam waved his hand briefly as if to dismiss her apology. "I'm not making very much sense either. Divinity, love, we're not exactly discussing my areas of expertise." Her laugh twisted its way through his mind, brought up a giddy feeling that he would have likened to cocaine if it hadn't felt so damned better and brighter, and Cam couldn't help the easy smile on his face as he took a few steps up the stairs and turned back to face her, bending just slightly at the waist and extending his hand for hers in a gentlemanly move he normally wouldn't have thought himself capable of. "Ah, but Ms. Lenkeit, you are the one taking me outside my comfort zone. I can spend half an hour describing the difference between an updraft carburetor and a downdraft carburetor but get me speaking about the gods and love at first sight, and, well, you put this poor little almost-genius to shame." But it was easy and that was the strange part. It was easy to talk to her about concepts that usually make him feel rather uncomfortable. Cam wasn't about to dig too deep to question why, though, he knew he had feelings for her and for now, just that knowledge was enough.