tripoverme (tripoverme) wrote in forgotten_gods, @ 2009-06-22 18:21:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | charybdis, geirmarr |
Who: Geirmarr and Charybdis
What: Talking things out
When: Last night
Where: The farm
Rating/Warnings: PG/None.
Status: Complete Log
Geirmarr: He padded in from the porch, thoughtfully chewing at his lower lip, pausing to slide into his favorite sweater kept by the door for when he was cold – it was too big, because it was Freyr’s. His first actual piece of clothing acquired for his human form and one that he’s always loved since. It made him feel safe, when he spent his entire life making sure others were safe. But now Freyr was leaving, and though he hinted at it for a while, now it was solid fact, and the farm would be his, assured that the business side of things would be taken care of for him.
He passed through the small living room and into the kitchen for a bottle of water, tying his hair back with the tie from his wrist before he leans into the fridge, searching.
Charybdis: She had spent all of yesterday indoors, watching movies, thinking, trying to figure things out on her own. When that hadn't worked quite so well, she had decided it was time to talk to him. She no longer really thought it was something she had done, he hadn't been cold, just distant and that was more of a distracted distance than anything. So now she's looking for him.
Not at the barn, at the stream or at his favourite outlook spot, not on the porch, maybe inside. She snuck inside, quiet as a mousie, creeping up into the kitchen and leaning against the wall for a moment. She knew he knew she was there, could smell her, so she just waited.
Geirmarr: He finally gave up on the search for food – his stomach was sick anyway, tied into a tight knot that wouldn’t allow him to eat – and settled on a bottle of water, which he didn’t open as he stood up again. He had heard her come in, could smell the sea salt of her scent as soon as she had stepped onto the porch. The fridge closed and he leaned against it, blue eyes dark with worry that he wouldn’t let stretch over the rest of his face.
“Where you been?” The question is soft, curious, not accusatory.
Charybdis: "Today? At the guest house and then, lookin for you." She answers with a small smile. Her eyes swept him, pale green and for a moment almost cat-like with the intensity of her gaze. She takes a deep breath then sighs softly. He was wearing his sweater.
Two steps, the distance from the door to him. Her arms open, inviting. She's the small one, and usually the one that needs help but she can offer comfort in return sometimes at least.
Geirmarr: He looked at her arms for a moment and stepped in to hug her quickly, not leave her hanging, before stepping back again. He knows that wasn’t her aim, but he’ll be fine, really. “I was at the main house. Freyr needed to talk to me about something.”
He gently eased past her, back into the living room. “Come sit with me.” He moved then to the couch, tucking one leg under him as he sat down, his back to the arm. Clearly, whatever he was just told, he needs to pass it along.
Charybdis: She frowned faintly when he took it for nothing more than a greeting hug. That made her worry even more, that's why she had been worried so lately too, he had been not seeking comfort in her as she sought comfort in him. That's what made it okay for her to do so, that he did it too. For a moment, for the first moment, she felt a spark of hurt and jealousy. Was it because he sought his comfort from Sleipnir now? It was okay if they liked each other but.. he was her friend. Everything flickered over her features, it always did, but never lingered long enough for most to notice.
She nodded and followed him into the living area, curling into the couch, knees to chest, facing him with her spine against the arm. "Kay.. what is it?"
Geirmarr: It had nothing to do with Sleipnir, truthfully. He didn’t know enough about what the hell was going on between himself and the equine to actually take comfort in him beyond knowing they come from the same origins. He noticed every flicker, reading expression better than most would. But he does not rush to comfort her. Not until he’s said what he has to.
“Freyr and Gerd are.. leaving the farm.” He tries out the words, and frowns a little deeper than the faint one that had been on his expression. “Like.. for good.” It’s different to hear it than say it himself. It’s sinking in, just now, as he says it. “He’s already set up everything, but.. like.. everything is going in my name.. and.. I’m going to be the one in charge.. like he is.”
Charybdis: She didn't like that pang of hurt and jealousy, she didn't like the lump it caused in her throat either. For a moment, she really didn't like herself at all. It passed quickly, her head dipped faintly though.
She sighed softly, smoothing her fingers through her hair and then giving a small nod in return. "Okay.. but.. you are the one who has been taking care of all of us for a while." She of course meant the three of them, she didn't know Idun well, she kept to herself.
Geirmarr: “You and me and Sleipnir, yeah.. but.. Freyr’s always the one who has looked after everything else.. like making sure we had electricity and internet, and what happened with the horses and the pigs. This is his den.. his pack.. and.. he’s leaving and..” He looked toward the door then, a whine on his breath. It was all hitting him at once. “and I don’t know if I’m ready to be really in charge..”
He swallowed. His stomach turned again, his throat hurt and his eyes stung, though here was no tears there.. not yet, at least.
Charybdis: "You said he put people in charge already to deal with that stuff... so all you have to worry about is taking care of us, just like before. It will be okay, you can do it. You can, I believe in you." She said softly, watching him.
"I trust you." softly spoken, then she moved and knelt up next to him, putting her hands up onto his shoulders and brushing her cheek against his own, her head tilted so that her throat was bared, accepting him in that odd motion as her alpha, she had been studying wolves.
Geirmarr: “But he’s always been there before, if something went wrong..” He blinked a little. “And.. he still will be, won’t he? He said as much.. Just not.. here, here.” Freyr would come back and work it out if they had a problem, he had said so.. it wasn’t like they were abandoning them here to their own devices.
But she had moved into him, had completed a motion that, while it felt utterly foreign, it was from his status standpoint, not because it was inhuman. Still, his head tilted a little and he buried his nose into that bared throat. He inhaled there, before his lips parted to give her nip that simply grazed over her skin, not actually pressing down at all or lingering. His hands stayed lowered, cradling the bottle between them.
Charybdis: She sank back quickly, almost skittering back to her side when he didn't draw her in like he used to do. Her lower lip bitten faintly. The nip had been something but not really anything more than accepting she was a member of his pack. She took a deep breath, sighed and looked down.
Her knees end up being dragged back to her chest and she nods. "Yes. And you can talk to him on the phone when you just have questions. He wouldn't abandon you. Clearly he thinks you can do it too.."
Geirmarr: “Or he just doesn’t have anyone else who has been here long enough and is a member of our pantheon.” He frowned deeply. It wasn’t like he was trying to shut her out, in fact he had just been acting as instinct says to when a pack member bares their throat and he had been so shocked by the sensation it was all he –could- do. Wolves don’t have hands to grasp and arms to hold. And she was back again before he could process any more with everything else he was trying to wrap his head around.
He whined as he read her body language, and he tentatively crawled across the couch, to lower his head to her knees, his own arms wrapping around him as his chin settled on them.
Charybdis: Her stomach tenses and she leans forward just enough to brush her lips against the tip of his nose, without moving her knees from their place. Her hand slid away from her belly and came up to stroke his hair, fingertips gliding along his jaw and finally tucking his hair behind one ear.
"Do you really think he'd leave if he thought that was the case? I don't, and I haven't known him near as long." She says softly, continuing to just gently smoothe her fingers through his hair.
Geirmarr: “I don’t.. know what I know anymore. I thought I did, and then stuff keeps changing, and I don’t again..” He admits. Things he’s been fighting with for a while now. “And nothing ever slows down so I can figure it out. It just happens and it’s on to the next thing and… things are so much simpler when you’ve got fur.”
He closes his eyes as she pets him, reaching one hand to pull the tie from his hair so she can slide her fingers through it and pet him properly, a sigh on his breath as he takes comfort in that touch.
Charybdis: "Sokay. See, the thing is, you don't always have fur, so it's not exactly like a wolf pack. We aren't going to go after you if you show a sign of weakness. We are going to help you and be there for you, and support you, not just for hunting, but even when you feel confused and lost." She may not have the answers he wants, or needs, but she does have her own words and the promises she knows she can keep.
A smile as he lets his hair down, her other hand slowly lifts, curls at his nape and then slides up until she can tangle her small fist at the back of his skull, squeezing gently now and again to give him little, soothing tugs. "If you want to talk.. I can listen.."
Geirmarr: He looks up to her then as she speaks, and he sighs softly – it’s a canine noise, really, that sigh, in its quick exhale and lack of dramatics. “Sometimes I need to figure stuff out on my own, too.” It’s a quiet murmur with just a touch of whine. His eyes close again as she tugs at his scalp, the next best thing to rubbing at his ears, really. His skin is a little loose at his nape, but that’s no all that surprising, just kind of funny. Not quite enough to get a hold of, but enough that it’s got a little more slack than usual.
“That’s.. nothing against you guys.. it’s just how I am..” He tightens his arms around her legs, hugging them briefly before just holding them again. “But you.. you need me to talk to you sometimes, don’t you? You have to tell me that, because I don’t remember.. and I can see that it’s hurt you and I’m sorry.. I don’t mean to.”
Charybdis: She mixed rubbing into the gentle tugging. She didn't want to rub or scratch behind his ears at the moment, and it was for a reason. It tended to bliss the wolf out and make him go melty. There wasn't much talking after that, just happy wolfyboy and that was fine sometimes, well most of the time, but right now, things needed to be said.
"Yeah. even if it's just to tell me that everything's okay, you just need to figure some things out." She answers softly after a moment of considering his words. "You got.. I mean.. it's not just that." She smiles, though her lower lip quivers just a bit. "You got far away, slowly at first, but then more and more. You started taking charge, and the more you did, the further away you went. You didn't talk, you didn't even seem to want me to just hug you when you were quietly thinking like you used to." she had kept from using the word brooding because it had bad connotations. "I thought I'd done something wrong, so.. I got a job.. and everything, and then.. it got worse and worse. I only ever talked to you to ask permission or see if something was okay... "
Geirmarr: “I knew something was changing, but I didn’t know what..” He shakes his head, leaning a little heavier into her legs as she pets him. It was keeping him relaxed, really, those small hands tugging at his hair. “I can’t really explain it, but.. I had to wait it out until I knew.. I didn’t mean to push you away if that’s how you felt..”
He sighs and his arms tightened again. “You’re my best friend, Cherub.. I’m sorry.. I’m just.. stupid.”
Charybdis: Her feet slip apart and her legs slide down at the same time as she scoots and shifts him gently, letting his head come to rest on her shoulder instead. Sure it meant he was practically laying ontop of her, but she didn't mind his weight and it meant that she could hold him, like he's held her when she was upset. "You're my best friend too. I was so scared I had lost you somehow."
She answers, hiding her face against the top of his head so he can't see the way those green eyes tear up. Maybe the sea-salt scent will drown out the scent of a few salty droplets. "You're not stupid, just.. different and I don't understand you."
Geirmarr: He shifted a little, though lean in places, his upper body was dense, and he didn’t want to crush the poor girl, instead moving to lay between her and the back of the couch, otherwise laying as she guides him to.
“Please don’t cry..” He murmurs into her shoulder. He didn’t need to see the tears or smell them to know it. Her breathing had changed, had thickened. He could hear it on her words. “You may not understand me but you’re not going to lose me. I promise” His arms slid around her, holding her tightly. “You’re pack. Family. And I love you, no matter what.”
Charybdis: She wriggles a little too, so she's partially on her side, more so she can look at him as he shifts too. Her face is slid down from his crown to brush her forehead to his and give his nose a small nuzzle. She exhales softly and then gives the tip of his nose a gentle lick, puppyish almost.
"It's.. relief. It's okay. I was just scared, and now it's okay." She answers softly, not questioning how he knew. He was him, he knew everything, he seemed to know what she was thinking half the time before she did, especially if it involved mischief. "I wanna understand. I want to be there for you like you're there for me, like I used to be."
Geirmarr: “You are.” He assures softly, tugging her light form in against him, nuzzling his face into the softness of her hair. “You are.. even if I’m acting weird and you don’t understand it, you are there for me. I know you are.. But this time I just.. needed to try to figure it out. And I don’t really like to talk until I’ve got it.. But the answers to this one weren’t in a book or on the internet..”
He sighs and looks up, reaching to wipe those few tears from her face. “I’m really glad you got a job. I’m proud of you. I know I didn’t tell you that before now.. I’m sorry.. You’re making friends and it looks like you’re having fun and that makes me really happy.”
Charybdis: "That's okay. You're quiet, I know that, and you like to figure things out for yourself. You're really independant for a wolf you know." The last said kind of teasingly, her nose crinkling at him playfully. She hugged him back tightly and dipped her face into his wiping hand, nuzzling it too. "I just want to know I can make you feel better, even when you haven't found the answers yet, like you do for me."
"I am, but I miss spending so much time here, with you and everything. This is.. " she pauses, thinks about it for a moment and then shrugs, "becoming home."
Geirmarr: “Yeah, but you seem really happy going out to dance and stuff.. and you always come home after right?” He sighs. “You just seemed bored here. I thought it would be good for you to just.. get out for a while. See stuff, meet people, do stuff. Then you could come back and explain everything you’ve seen and done to me, and I’ll learn too.”
He pets over her hair lightly, sitting up and arranging her in his lap.
Charybdis: "Umph." came the soft reply as she was scooted into his lap. Hey! She was supposed to be the one holding and comforting him. Ah well. She scooted and shifted and finally curled into a little ball against his chest, curling her hands back into his hair to tug and stroke once more.
"I wasn't bored. I just felt.. different. I'm the only not Norse." She answers with a small shrug and a gentle sigh. "I can start telling you about the trips out if you like when I get home." and she will, having no idea that he probably won't like them.
Geirmarr: “I’d like that.” He smiles. “You.. seem to be able to deal with the city a lot easier than Sleipnir or I. It scares us.. but we also want to know. When you go in and tell us about what you see, we get to learn, and then it’s a little less scary.”
He curls around her tightly, mirroring her ball with the shell of his own, gently rocking from side to side with her against him.
Charybdis: "I've always been person shaped, so it's a little easier for me, even if I spent most of my time before alone." She answers softly, dipping her head and giving a small nod. "Sleipnir, may like it a little eventually, he's a herd guy, and and.. in the city people are a big herd. Though there's no.. real sense of direction."
She sighs and closes her eyes growing soft and warm in his arms, letting all of her worries drift away. "It's nice. Usually I just get dropped off at my practice, it's dark, there aren't that many people around. Then we go inside, and put on dancing clothes to practice in, and.. dance, some of the girls are nice, some aren't. Then uhm sometimes dinner and the trip home."
Geirmarr: “Do you have friends there? What about the girl who came to get you the other day? The one who brought the sticky apples? Who is she? What kind of music do you dance to?”
He fires her a few questions to keep her talking, though tries to only ask a few so she can keep up. There are more.. there are always more, but for now, he tries to keep the number down, still rocking as she goes soft and relaxes into his arms, letting him relax as well. This was a natural role for him. Guardian over her form as she seeks comfort in his warmth.
Charybdis: The comfort comes mostly from the fact that he's holding her again, talking to her again, letting her know what's going on in his life again.. that had been the hard part to handle for her, the not knowing, the distance.
"Uhm, I like Star, she's nice but she gives oily hugs, and I like Agrat, that's the lady that came and took me shopping. I like Adam, my boss too, but he's hardly ever there. The music is.. really heavy bass, kind of, the sort that you sway your hips to but don't really dance around a whole lot, I guess, it's not bouncy or happy or.. or or.. I dunno. Adam told Agrat to look out for me I think.."
Geirmarr: “Well that’s good. It means I don’t have to worry so much.” He smiles wolfishly. “What’s Adam like? Are you actually having fun still? Do you want to quit?”
More questions, but if he doesn’t ask, he won’t know.
Charybdis: "Well no, it's a different kinda lookin out for. Like.. some fo the other girls don't like girls at all, so they get mean. Not to me really because I'm not a threat they don't think, but to some, and that's what Adam wants Agrat to watch out for." She smiles and shrugs a little bit. "Adam is really a nice guy, he used to work at wal-mart. He's on the message list as Adonaluc..something, he's blonde and smiles. I'm having fun, but the job hasn't started yet, so I dunno."
Geirmarr: He hummed a little and nodded. “Well, you know if you don’t like it you don’t have to stay, right? I’m not going to force you.. I just thought it’d be good for you.” He kisses the top of her head. “It’s good your boss is nice. Maybe I can meet him some day. That Agrat girl smells funny though.”
Charybdis: "Smells funny how?" she asked curiously. She liked Agrat, but she knew that Agrat was a little different than the rest of her friends, the same was true of Adam, just different, she didn't see them as bad.
"I know, but I don' wanna quit. It sounds like it'll be fun. I jus get to dance and be nakey and get paid for it."
Geirmarr: “She smells like.. fire.. Like.. the barbeque before meat goes on it, or when the farm hands get the fire pit going. Like that. It’s.. funny.” And he doesn’t mean silly funny, really.
“I’m glad you could find something you think you might like. When do you actually start?”
Charybdis: "I can't smell it I guess. She feels like Adam too. If you want, you can come to practice with me one night to check everything out, make sure it's okay. I don't want you to worry."\
She looks up at him, reaching up, touching his jaw softly and then tucks back into herself once more, snuggling her head into his chest kittenishly. " I don't know when we start."
Geirmarr: “Mmn.. Maybe we can have Adam over for dinner instead. Then we can all meet him. Get maman to cook.. It’ll be nice, don’t you think?”
He rubbed her back, resting his chin against her crown, just.. holding on. She seems to need it.
Charybdis: "Can we ask Maman to move in when Gerd and Freyr go? I know her youngest just moved out and she's lonely at her apartment." Her lower lip bitten softly for a moment, thinking of Maman. She did love the older woman dearly, one of the few people Charybdis didn't mind thinking of her in a childlike manner. She knew it was just because Maman was who she was.
"We can invite him if you wanna, but I doubt he'll come. He's very busy." she nods and then snuggles closer. She just wanted to be close to him, and the truth was, she thought he needed to hold on too.
Geirmarr: “How about when Freyr and Gerd go, then, we move into the main house, and give the guest house to Idun and Maman? You can keep your mats, of course.” He kisses the top of her head, hugging her close. “We can ask him.. If he can’t come, then at least we tried.”
It seemed right that they all live in the main house. Then he can have his old porch back, and keep an eye on things better. He’ll also be closer to Sleipnir, but he doesn’t actually mention that. He saw her face when she thought he was turning to the horse for comfort.
Charybdis: "If Idun wants to move, I don't wanna make her." She answers softly, lowering her lashes. She was okay staying out at the guest house, with or without Maman there really. She nods softly when he mentions asking Adam again and gives a small nod. "That's true, we can.."
A soft sigh escapes her, her head tucking beneath his jaw. It wasn't that she thought he was interested in Sleipnir that made her upset, it was that she thought she was losing his friendship too. A different kind of jealousy. She had already seen how the two looked at each other, it would not have occurred to her to think otherwise.. but friendship.. the comfort of talking and hugging and stuff.. if he stopped doing that because he had Sleipnir, that would hurt.
Geirmarr: “Then she can stay as long as she wants. She wouldn’t just have a room then, but a whole house to share. I can talk to her tomorrow if you want.”
He wasn’t going to stop, even after he figured out things with the equine – which he hadn’t.. not yet. It was weird and he didn’t understand it. Though the girl might have her suspicions, he was still learning, still trying to get it.
“Are you ok now?” Asked softly tentatively.
Charybdis: "It's up to you, you're in charge. I'm okay being whereever, as long s I get to stay here." She nods and smiles a little bit, slowly sliding out of his lap. He seemed alright and now she was too.
She saw how they looked at each other. She had been.. envious at first, then just.. happy, because she cared about them both very much. Eventually they'd sort things out and maybe then she'd slip away to find a new home, but for now things were good.
"I am, are you?"
Geirmarr: “Of course you get to stay here. I just thought that that might work out better for Maman and Idun..” He sighs a little and watches her slip out of his lap. He looks down at his sweater. He’s not ready to take it back off yet, but he feels silly keeping it on.
“I will be. I have to sort a few things out still, but.. I will be.”
Charybdis: "You won't be afraid to let me be your worry stone again, like normal this time?" She asks softly, uncertainly. She didn't want him to feel like he had to hold her now that she had worked out she was still his friend, things were still okay between them.
"Good. I don't wanna go yet."
Geirmarr: “I’ll try not to.”
It’s all he can promise, that he’ll make an effort. He can’t say for sure, because he doesn’t know what life is going to throw at him. So far, this was the most major thing.. The small stuff, he’ll be fine, just like before.
“I know. This is your home for as long as you want to stay, Cherub. And you’re family for as long as you want to be, ok?”
Charybdis: She nodded, trying was all she could ask really. Her lower lip is drawn in, sucked on. She didn't know what would happen either, he may need to distance himself to deal again, she'd deal with it when the time game.
His words though draw a smile that really isn't one at all and she gives a small nod. The way he says it, well.. it's not.. not she can't put her finger on it but she gives a small nod.
"Thank you. For.. putting up with me." and in a heartbeat, she has risen and slipped off up to her room.
Geirmarr: His eyebrows furrow a little as he catches the inconsistencies in her actions and expressions. He sighs as she leaves so swiftly. He thought.. he though by phrasing it the way he had that he was doing a good thing. He didn’t want her to feel chained down. Sheltered, loved, but not.. forced to stay.
The way she leaves makes him feel sick inside, though, and with a whine, he waits until her door closes, and goes to shift. Things are less complicated when you have fur.