"I think I was." Adonis protested lightly, most of the fight gone out of him as he listened to her words, closing his eyes and digging a scrap of meat from his pocket to drop down to the whining Theias, who instantly perked up and went off to chase butterflies, leaving his master to his sorrow.
"I have a trump card I can play." Adonis murmured, opening his eyes to look over the lake. "I am still uncertain but the chances are good I will not be bound. Still... I cannot help the paranoia." Hearing Theias' happy barks as the hound actually caught a butterfly made him smile if only for a short moment. "The earth, the plants give me power, Earth Mother."
He sighed lightly. "But for me, the power I rip from those who want me has always been addictive. Your want for me is based in love. That is not my area. But sexual desire? I toy with people, mortals. I play destructive games, go through sick little dances and... leave people hollow sometimes. I don't like it. But it's who I am." He finally turned to face her as she spoke of the rapes, puffing deeply on his cigarette as he considered her words.
"I... I don't like that part of myself." He whispered. "I don't like enjoying it. I don't want to be that way. And if there has ever been a motivator for change that could actually work, Jord, you are it." He took another deep drag, slowly exhaling. "I don't need it. I... want it, yes. But I don't like wanting it. And with you? You're- you fulfill all my aspects. It's just this one, sick part of my that remains unfulfilled and that's the way I want it."
But he was rambling. "I know you could never do those things. I don't want you to ever do them because you... you would be like them in my eyes if that ever happened. That you will never treat me like that is a part of why I want to be with you. Because you make me feel good without making me feel bad."