"I have told you. I don't want anyone to see me like this, it isn't just you." She was deliberately misunderstanding everything he was saying and making him so angry that he didn't think he could control his words. "Don't tell me I'm feeding you bullshit. I've always been honest with you." Even as he said that, guilt twinged in his heart because he knew he was attracted to College. "I don't want you to see me weak, I don't want anyone to see me weak, what the fuck is so wrong with that?"
He stood abruptly, standing at the railing and letting the wind blow through his hair. "And now I amuse you." For even if the snort itself held no amusement, it cut him to his very core. It was dismissive. It made him feel... low. "You hold all the keys. You hold Zeus and Hades in your pocket. You hold the power to fight them if they try to hurt me."
Sharing. He hated that word. "I've shared before, shared everything with them." He whispered, closing his eyes and shaking just for a moment at the crush of memories. "It only leads to ownership for me. Can't you understand that I've been conditioned to withdraw? If I share everything with you, you'll see me for what I truly am." He turned, facing her. "Do you not know? For all the facades I put up, have you not read in between the lines of my history? I am manipulative, greedy, lustful, fickle. I am not good. But I've been trying, trying to control that. For you, damnit."
He snarled lightly and came forward, crouching down so they were on the same eye level. "You really want me to share? You want to know the worst things about me?" He swallowed, feeling sick but if she still wanted him after this, then it would be worth it. "I enjoyed it." He hissed out. "I loved the rapes because I hated them. I hated them because I loved them. And the most recent? I enjoyed that too. I was fucking conditioned to enjoy it, okay? That is what you've been with. A scared little boy who likes the abuse, craves it because it is all he has ever known." Then, Adonis was up again, spinning to sag against one of the wooden columns, forehead pressed to the grain and tears gathering in his eyes. "That is what I have to share. Those aspects are the ones I've been hiding. If you can't- if you don't want me because of them, I can leave." He whispered and even Theias was whining, blood on his muzzle and looking curiously up at his master.