Remus Lupin has an incurable smile on his face (messrmoony) wrote in flippedrpg, @ 2012-04-25 01:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! narrative, ch: 1war: remus lupin, p: mich |
Who: Remus Lupin
What: Remus contemplates the nature of love and death
When: Forward dated to Wednesday, half noon
WARNING: CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH
Can I be dreaming once again?
I'm reaching helpless I descendThe moment had finally arrived. Remus knew from the minute he was captured that he didn't have a chance. His trial was more a farce than any semblance of justice, and by the halfway point, he'd already managed to tune it out. The emotions that he thought he might feel simply weren't there. The anger and frustration of days prior fizzled away until he was left a shell of his old self. He wasn't a fool; the others who had been hanged hadn't yet been heard from. It was very possible that this was real, unlike with the children. Perhaps the adults were being sacrificed for the sake of some experiment to collect 'valuable data'. Either way, Remus managed not to let himself feel even as he heard the verdict: guilty.
Loving another man was never an easy thing to do, merely for the fact that it was regarded as so against the norm of most societies, even Wizarding society. In Puritan Salem, it was even worse. Clearly punishable by death. Remus never thought in these terms. When he thought about love, he didn't see two men, two women, a man and a woman; there were no genders, no sexualities. There was only the love that bound people together, that made them do extraordinary things for one another, that made them self-sacrificing. Remus had done it without a second's thought. He'd spared Sirius the fate that he knew was inevitable because he couldn't bear to let him face the villagers and their god-fearing vengeance against anything that they couldn't understand. Sparing Sirius as much pain as he was capable of had always been his most redeeming quality since seventh year at Hogwarts. And now he would be paying the ultimate price for his actions. That was when the numbness truly took hold of his heart. He didn't want anything to taint the feelings that he held for Sirius, no matter what else happened or what he might see when he was marched out to his death.
It should have been terrifying, waiting for your own demise with others who would be dead before and after you by one of the most brutal and demeaning methods possible. He didn't blame the villagers, though; the scientists obviously had power over them and what they did. He'd watched the others one at a time, eyes blank and emotions deadened to the world. Remus hoped that by stepping up to the noose and taking his rightful turn towards the death that he was apathetic about, he would be released from the games.
The rough scratchiness of the noose was barely noticed as his gaze found the face of his lover and didn't once break away. He knew that there were others offering their silent support, giving him sad looks, but Remus had eyes only for Sirius. In those final moments, when asked if he had last words, warm brown eyes held onto stormy grey. A rush of emotions overcame him, memories flooded his mind, and he mouthed the words:
"I love you."
That was when everything turned into chaos. The shaggy black dog was suddenly bounding after him, villagers were screaming about demons amongst them, and the last thing Remus heard was the executioner gasping in horrified shock, pulling the lever that opened up the platform beneath him. The pain was sharp, blinding, but he didn't feel anything beyond the initial tear of muscle and the snap of vertebrae. A flash of white and then there was nothing.
The body of Remus Lupin hung limply, not even the satisfaction of a final twitch or jerk provided for the entertainment of his audience.