Bellatrix Lestrange: HBIC. (ex_infernus897) wrote in flippedrpg, @ 2012-04-24 23:15:00 |
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Death was something that Bella was more than comfortable and familiar with. It was like an old lover that one kept returning to time and time again. She had been walking hand in hand with it since the day she had met the man she would one day come to call My Lord and Bella had never once been afraid of it. Long ago she had come to terms with the fact that eventually, she was going to die. Not only was it a part of life but in the line of work she did, it was an everyday risk that she happily took. Never though, in all of her wildest dreams, did she ever think that her death would come at the hands of Puritan Muggles. She knew that there were those out there who thought that this would be more than poetic. That it would be proper justice finally served and that they would be cheering when they hung her, but it wasn’t the death she had wanted for herself. Just because she had accepted death and wasn’t afraid of it didn’t mean that she wanted this particular death. Rodolphus had been right when he said it wasn’t a justifiable death and as she sat there and listened to the Muggles make a mockery of a trial she was mentally kicking herself for talking to him. It had been a moment of weakness, she knew that, but it was a moment she shouldn’t have indulged in. This wasn’t right though. It wasn’t justifiable and it wasn’t what she wanted. Their deaths, all of their deaths, were supposed to have a meaning. A way to further the cause or benefit the cause or even happened because of and in the name of their cause. This though? This wasn’t that. Bella might have sat through the entire trial with a smug, half sort of smirk on her face, but inside, inside she was anything but calm. She was beyond furious that this farce and mockery was allowed to continue and even as they called out a verdict of guilty and lead her from the room and back to where she had previously been held her fury only grew more. They would never be allowed to glimpse it though. She would never allow anyone, especially not Muggles or those who surrounded her see just how this little game was bothering her but it was and the longer she sat bound and restrained once more the worse it got. She had always heard of people talking about their lives flashing before their eyes. That they would relive their greatest and weakest moments and that their greatest triumphs and lowest lows would revisit them. There was none of that. In Azkaban she had revisited the moments of her life enough to be more than familiar with each of them that she needed not do such a thing here. That wasn’t to say though that images, or rather faces flashed briefly in her mind. There were no regrets for Bella. There was nothing that she would take back, nothing that she would change for to take any of it back or to change any of it would change the person she had become and Bella didn’t wish or want to be someone else. Who she was was who she was and anyone who had a problem with that wasn’t of her concern. No rather then see regrets, happiness, sadness, or joy she simply saw the things she wanted most. Rodolphus, Cissa, Him. If there was one thing Bella wanted more than anything it was to see those who mattered the most to her at least once. It had been so long since she had seen any of them and to die without seeing them, without being able to tell them that they mattered to her, that they were important to her, that she would always be theirs, to the end and beyond was more than frustrating. If she were the kind to have done such a thing the thoughts and faces that floated in and out of her mind as the night passed by and crept closer and closer to dawn and her fate, she would have cried over it all but Bella wasn’t a crier. She did not express emotion, pain or heartaches in such a way and she was not about to let Muggles and a group of mad scientists make her do so now. No as dawn broke over the horizon and she heard the world stir around her once more she simply sighed softly and closed her eyes for only a moment, grateful that none of them were present to witness what was happening but at the same time wishing she could have just five minutes, five small minutes with each of them. The walk to the gallows was a lot like what approaching Azkaban had been like. Only then she had been surrounded by Aurors, Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Barty. They had slipped through the water and the night silently and even though no stars had shown in the sky and no moon light their way it was not needed to make the first sight of Azkaban unforgettable. Bella couldn’t tell you if it was the sight alone of Azkaban and knowing that she was going in but more then likely never coming out again, even though deep down inside she still clung tightly to the bit of false hope she allowed herself. That some day, maybe in the near future or in the not so near future, He would return for them. Their sacrifice in the name of the cause would not go unnoticed and their loyalty and faithfulness would be rewarded. It was a false hope, yes, but it was all Bella had as she had stared silently at her new home and the icy cold terror the Dementors induced crept up on her, slipped across her skin, down her spine and settled in her core, causing her to shiver as it did so. There were no Dementors here though. No terror, no fear, no family to take in for one last time as she was led up the steps and turned to face the crowd. All there was was a deep acceptance and that wish once more making itself known to her. Bella should have known that she wouldn’t get off quite so easily though and as her eyes scanned the crowd, taking in every single person before her and yet not seeing a single one of them at the same time that no one she knew would be present. It wasn’t long before her gaze landed on a familiar head of dark hair. Hair so much like her own and yet different that for a single moment Bella’s heart froze before it resumed beating. She shouldn’t be here Bella thought silently as she locked gazes with a sister that wasn’t quite hers and yet was all at the same time. Even from this distance Bella could tell what she had been doing and as the noose slipped over her head and settled round her neck she shook her head ever so slightly, the word no passing her lips as she refused to look. “Andromeda, don’t.” The words were barely a whisper, almost completely unheard by anyone, even herself, but her lips moved just enough to convey her message to her sister. There would be no tears this day. There should be no tears. Bella had never had any use or need of them and she did not wish for her sister to shed them simply because of her. She knew she should look away, look somewhere else, at someone else as the Muggle next to her began to babble about something, his words meaningless and empty to Bella, but she couldn’t. She had seen the other woman and now there was no turning back. For a brief moment Bella worried that this would change things. That her resolve would break and maybe, just maybe it would make her like the others, but as the man next to her ceased speaking and took a step back, Bella swallowed past whatever had been threatening to rise up inside of her, clenched her jaw tightly and set her shoulders. She was a Black, a Lestrange, and the Dark Lord’s right hand man. She would not be undone by something as small as a moment of weakness. A small, almost sad smile graced her lips as she stared at her sister for one last moment before her eyes slipped closed and as the bottom fell out from beneath her Bella’s last thought was of her boys, her men and how in that final moment of her life she regretted failing them like she had. |