Nymphadora Tonks (dorably) wrote in flippedrpg, @ 2012-04-11 21:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | ch: can: nymphadora tonks, ch: knap: remus lupin, p: amy aliana, p: emmy |
Who: Tonkscan & Remusknap, then Teddycan and possibly Billcan
What: Veritaserum = lots of angst.
Where Remus' unit.
When: After this and this.
Warnings: Angst and then probably more angst.
Status: In progress.
The air seemed muffled and still and heavy around her. Tonks wasn't sure if that was because of the world they were in now, or because she just couldn't feel anything beyond herself. Beyond her skin, the skin she felt trapped in, the life she felt trapped in. The straight line she'd seen for herself- dating, marriage, a son, a life- had gone all crooked, a train jumping the tracks, fireball explosion in the sky with no way out.
And she was dead.
She entertained the notion briefly that she was literally like the walking dead, zombie in the making, numb to everything. She wasn't numb though, she just wanted to be. Instead everything hurt, everything ached, like she was all broken inside, hundreds of jagged pieces and sharp edges and torn up hopes. Her cheeks felt wet, tears following the same tracks for so long that she forget whether she was crying or not anymore. Why did it matter? She was dead anyway.
Except she wasn't. Somewhere in the haze of overwhelming information in her brain were Remus' words, about family and the opportunities she had right now. Because she wasn't dead here, she was alive still, and she could be the Mum her son needed. Soon. Once she started to fix the brokenness inside. She had to find a way to put her pieces back together.
It was only when she looked up that Tonks realized she was standing in front of this Remus' door. She ran her fingers through her hair, limp and brown on her head though she didn't realize it, didn't even feel it. What was she supposed to do? Punch him. But instead her hand raised to knock on the door and then, with the sound still echoing through the air, she dropped her hand back down at her side and just waited.