That was Melinda's thoughts exactly. She'd rather die than be left alone in the world, and she'd rather both of them die than leave her brother. "I don't want to know," she said fervently. She'd rather not know than risk finding out that they didn't die together. Actually, she'd mostly rather think of it as little as possible, but she was still having trouble shaking the terrible, terrible feeling that realizing the situation had given her. And then she'd spent a week in it.