It was easy and difficult at the same time to let down her own personal barriers to let James into her head. Lily trusted him with her life now, now that she had remembered them without having to have her memories, but her reticence had nothing to do with how much she trusted him. It was easy because she trusted him but it was hard because she was naturally inclined to resist anyone inside her head. It was difficult, too, because she knew in her heart of hearts that some of her memories would likely break her heart and Lily wanted nothing more than to be strong enough, to be okay enough, to handle those memories without losing herself again.
James was helping. The ease and care and love with which he navigated the map of her memories made it easier for her to breath, to take deep breaths and, slowly, start letting down the barriers she herself had set.
Of course, those were only the beginning. There were plenty of barriers in her head that she hadn't put there. Even she who had extraordinary capability to use her mind and manipulate her thoughts—how many could turn their anger into a passionate desire to let it go?—hadn't been able to try to move ast them for long before she was down for the count with a migraine larger than life?
As he caressed those blocked memories, though, she could feel the warmth spreading through her body, enveloping her in comfort and the knowledge that they were doing the right thing here. And, at some point, her mind stopped struggling against one of her memories and the dam broke, letting it flood the forefront of her mind.
White. Calla lillies. Sirius laughing with James by the cake table. Dancing with James. Unforgettable, that's what you are. Birdseed. I do. I do, I do, I do. James. Lily, JamesandLily.
As the memory played and swirled and twined the pieces of it together, Lily felt warm tears in her eyes. Happy tears. That was a good memory, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten. James was her husband and he had remembered, vividly, every detail. She could do this, she had to do this. One taste and now she didn't care if something tried to break her heart. Lily couldn't stand the thought of not having all of these returned to her.