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Tweak says, "Who’s that guy you drew?"

Renee Lupin thinks she's dead. (reneelupin) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2012-08-26 15:39:00

Entry tags:

ch: swap: nymphenburg tonks, ch: swap: renee lupin, p: emmy, p: lisa

Who: Renee and her Burg.
When: This evening.
Where: Astronomy tower.
What: Renee is making things right.
Rating/Status: C for cute/Incomplete.

Keeping a happy face during the past couple of weeks was more exhausting than Renee had anticipated. One moment she was holding her little girl in her arms, then next, she was reading her daughter's dirty handwriting to a boyfriend. It felt a little okay knowing that they were all new to being together and that was what hurt the most. It shouldn't have been new. No matter of how everyone said it was okay, the fact of the matter was it was no okay for Renee. She had lived long enough to see Hannah become so resilient and like her parents without them actually being there. Before Theodora, she used to think it was unfair for Hannah to not know her parents. Now, she was stuck in a situation where her own daughter grew up without her parents. All because she left.

There was no way Renee was going to go back on her decision that night, but maybe if she had been more firm, Theodora could have still had Burg. That was the hardest part of living in the compound. Everyone was there and they all still had to live with their guilt. Renee was living with hers everyday, despite having a very apologetic and loving husband. Renee knew it was impossible to fix the past, but she knew she could start doing right by those whom she had failed.

Starting tonight.

Renee had managed to grab the Astronomy tower all to herself, rushing out the first years. It was something about the school that made her feel younger, despite the harsh memories of the final battle. She made a point to steer clear of the Great Hall, to keep herself from walking every step she took, trying to remember Burg's face that night. However, the rest of the school held some grand memories that would make her smile every so often, and now she was able to have new memories of Hogwarts with Burg.

The small chocolate cake Renee had baked earlier that afternoon sat on a candlelit table. The stars were shining bright in the clear dark blue sky. Everything looked alright. It was a decent setting, at least Renee thought. Renee patted down the front of her cream coloured dress and looked around, a little unsure of herself. Her nerves were starting to kick in as all the possible negative consequences of the night went through her mind.

Renee's ears perked up as she heard footsteps coming from the stairs. It was now or never.

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nymphenburg
2012-08-26 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Nymphenburg had an awful lot longer to get used to everything then most in his family. He had spent months alone in the compound before Theodora had shown up and before Renee had returned. It had given him time to work through every emotion and thought he had about the future he was told occurred without having to worry about putting up a face for his loved ones. Perhaps that had been the one positive of being so isolated originally in the compound. He had his counterparts and loved ones from childhood, even Hannah, but those who he yearned for the most were not there to witness his darkest thoughts.

Still, he knew how he had felt in those weeks and he was moderately concerned about how Renee was feeling now. She seemed to be handling things with a grace that he could have never managed. Yet he worried that it was a front. He didn't want to push her to speak to him about it if she wasn't ready. The fact was...he knew his future. He knew they got married and he knew it may have been too soon, because she left. And still...she came back. That was the most important part. She came back. But, he was taking just a little leaflet out of his brief knowledge of how things went down, and refusing to push her until she was ready. That was his plan. If his baby wanted to pretend everything was alright, then they were going to pretend everything was alright. And if she finally broke, he would be right there to pick up the pieces.

Taking the final steps up to the tower, he pushed open the door, his head tilting instantly as he looked toward her. "What's this?" He asked with an immediate grin, stepping inside, and only managing to slightly stumble in his steps.

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reneelupin
2012-08-27 12:09 am UTC (link)

Renee could feel her palms getting sweaty already and she hadn't even said two words. "Uhm..." It was a new start, hopefully a good new start. Renee couldn't ask anything more from her husband because he was doing a grand job of giving her space and letting her breath. Renee had concluded he learned from when she ran away but even then, with all her space, she would run. She didn't want to run anymore.

Silence lingered for a couple more moments as Renee tried to gather her thoughts, going over every speech she had made up in her own mind. Discarding the speeches, Renee decided she would speak how she felt. "I think this evening is more of an apology for every time I ran away from you. I mean, from your time, you haven't experienced the other times I went away but, it was a difficult time. I still feel...guilty for everything I put you through. I can honestly say every time I left it hurt more than you could ever imagine. I just didn't want you to throw away your life for me. I didn't want you to take care of me forever because I was going to have a hard time supporting myself." Renee paused with a bit of a frown.

"I left you when I was pregnant with Theodora. I was so petrified that I had locked you into a life that would destroy you. I was scared that Theodora would turn out like me. Hannah turned me away when I offered to help her in her expedition and it is something I still need to thank her for."

Biting her bottom lip, she wiped her sweaty palms on her dress, looking downwards at the floor. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you. The only people I ever allowed myself to be close with were Jane, Sirilla, and at one point in time, P[eter]. But you..."

There was a hint of a smile as she looked up at him.

"You still scare the hell out of me. You make me so happy that I sometimes forget what I'm so sad about. You've been there for me when I couldn't do the same for you and you never turned me away."

Renee walked up to the younger man, keeping a few inches between them. Taking his hand, she opened it, placing her wedding ring she had hidden in her pocket in the palm of his hand.

"I love you, more than anything. I want things done right this time. So since you never got around to proposing to me...."

Renee got quiet, looking up into her husband's eyes.

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nymphenburg
2012-08-28 02:14 am UTC (link)

His initial reaction was complete silence. Though he knew his future, he wondered if it was right to be receiving an apology. It hadn't happened yet. Still, just knowing it would happen, and how little time they had together after all was said and done, it hurt. It hurt more than he had been able to express. And at the time, he had been alone, and he felt as though he were a burden for wanting to express it. But he never expected an apology. He couldn't expect that from her. She was who she was...and it was not like he hadn't know what he was getting himself into at the beginning. He was more than aware of her insecurities. How could he not be?

Still, he sucked in a deep breath, his lips pursing together, sucking in as he listened. He would not interrupt his future wife's thoughts. "I wanted to take care of you," he allowed himself to speak, for he did. He had always wanted that. He wanted her to feel loved. He did love her so and it pained him to see how difficult of a time she had with the notion.

His eyes slipped down when she mentioned the history that hurt. It was one thing to hear it from Nymphadora. It was another to hear it from Renee. His eyes shut and he pushed back the wave of sadness just hearing the words brought. His head have a nod in response, even though he did not agree. He did not think she would have ever been capable of destroying him. Her leaving had practically done that. Her staying could never.

Turning his head up, he caught the smile, and there was nothing stopping him from returning it. He knew she was working her way up to a point. A grand unified apology, perhaps, one of which he felt was unnecessary. The gesture was appreciated, though. Awkwardly, he fiddled with the belt loops of his jeans, slipping his thumbs into them, to keep himself from moving towards her. To stop himself from interrupting. "Never will," he added as well, the same meager smile, which grew as she approached.

He allowed her to take his hand and his eyes dropped down when the object was placed against his palm. He studied it for a moment, an actual look of confusion on his face, for in the briefest of seconds, he did not know what to expect. This wasn't what he was anticipating. Glancing up once again, his eyes met hers, as he let his finger tips curl around her hand and the ring.

And then a burst of a grin grew at her words. He stood, grinning like a fool, as his hand clutched hers tighter.

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reneelupin
2012-08-28 06:18 am UTC (link)

Renee knew she wanted to take care of her. Plenty of them did and Renee always felt like the burden. There were even a few fights between Jane and Renee over a little pocket money to help Renee get by. She hated it. She never wanted to be anyone's burden. Burg was no different. Renee had wanted to keep him to herself, to love him, to live a normal life. That was where she would always catch herself. She was not normal and there was no way she could ever give Burg a normal life. If she hadn't been set on making this night a perfect start to their new life, she would have been upset at herself for making him sad. She could see it when he hung his head and avert her eyes when she spoke of what she had done to him.

Yet when she came closer and he returned her smile, Renee began to calm down somewhat. It wasn't perfect, yet nothing they ever seemed to do was perfect. They were both awkward in their own way and it seemed to mesh perfectly. "I owe it to you to make this right. I owe it to Theo." With a sigh, she smiled, shaking a little bit as to get rid of the nerves. "And now I'm thinking I should have asked your mother for her approval..so its a bit backwards...but..we've always been that way." Renee couldn't help but to laugh, as she was trying to make it a special night and she was already messing it up.

Leaning upwards, she pressed her forehead against his, letting their noses touch. "Burg, my sweet sweet Burg, will you marry me?"

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nymphenburg
2012-08-29 03:05 am UTC (link)

He had a sense of anticipation the moment she had placed the ring in his hand. It was excitement, uncertainty, curiosity, and happiness all rolled up into one, emotion filling him, as he tried to keep himself from grinning wider. He was smiling so hard that his face was beginning to hurt but he didn't care. He didn't care at all, because he had a sense of what was coming, and he couldn't believe his darling was actually doing it.

"My Mother would have clapped you on the back and told you to go for it," he spouted out with a rush to his words, as though each syllable was bouncing up and down, and he didn't notice that he was actually shaking. He was nervous but in all the good sorts of ways.

He sucked in a breath when her forehead pressed against his and shut his eyes tight, fearful they might betray him with glistening of happy tears, which he refused to let fall. He was happier in this moment then he could remember being in a long, long time. And when the words were spoken, a content sigh rolled out from his chest, and he grinned even more.

"As if I would ever say 'No,'" he managed to say as he rubbed his nose against hers, in a very playful manner, like that of a dog. And then, his arms swooped around her, scooping her up to spin them both around. "I love you, I love you, I love you..." he repeated over and over, pressing a kiss against her skin, anywhere his lips could brush against, between each pause of the phrase, until finally he stopped and leaned forward, catching her lips with his own in a passionate kiss.

He loved her.

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