InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Holy Boston Baked Beans!"

Maria R. Wiercinski (intoyourheart) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2012-08-21 13:02:00

Entry tags:

ch: squib: eris lupin, ch: squib: hestia lupin, p: kit, p: lisa

Who: Hestia and Eris.
When: Now.
Where: Eris' room.
What: A secret has been revealed.
Rating/Status: TBD/Incomplete.

Was she surprised? Not in the least. Her relationship with Remus was mutual and they acted more as best friends than as lovers. There might have been a spark at some point in their relationship. They took care of one another, they supported and loved their children harmoniously as parents. But as lovers, Hestia knew something was missing. Hestia often used her work as an excuse to stay late or to evade from any situation of having to deal with one another and how they should have been. It was her fault as much as Remus' and that was something she would have to deal later on her own. But as for now, she was going to see her daughter who had been keeping this to herself since she had first arrived.

Hestia was now Hestia Jones but her daughter would forever be Eris Lupin. That would never change and it was something Hestia would never want to change.

Hestia ran as fast as she could to her daughter's room, keeping the tears within herself. Her daughter came first.

"Eris!"

Opening her door, Hestia rushed and gathered her crying daughter into her arms.

"I'm so sorry baby."

(Post a new comment)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-21 08:31 pm UTC (link)

This was not how it was meant to go at all. She'd had questions that she was afraid to ask herself, much less her mother but she'd forged ahead, anyway. Eris should have known it was a shitty time for a serious discussion, obviously her mother wasn't as okay as she was wanting people to believe—another trait they shared in common. She'd known that it probably wasn't the right time and yet she'd started asking the questions anyway because she was selfish and self-centered and what had that gotten her? It had gotten her the question she'd been hoping they could avoid. And then she'd had to give the answer she'd been pretending didn't exist while she was here.

It did exist, though. Her parents had divorced and nothing lasted forever.

She wiped her eyes hastily when she heard the door open and stiffened when her mother's arms went around her. It would have been easy to just bury her face in Hestia's shoulder and let herself be comforted, but Eris was bad at this. She wasn't good with emotions or 'share time' and she hated for people to see her cry. Yeah, even her family.

Stubbornly turning away, she said, voice thick, "I'm fine." She needed to ask if her mother was fine but she couldn't seem to bring herself to do it. She didn't think she could handle Hestia being heartbroken. It was worse than even Astro's discontent on the journals.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-21 08:38 pm UTC (link)

"That smells as much as it sounds like bullshit and you know it." It hurt. It hurt more that her own daughter turned away from her in hiding. It hurt to see herself in what had manifested into not only a bright and brilliant young woman, but a selfish and hidden woman as well. Hestia knew it all too well. Hiding those emotions and not letting anyone see you falter, especially family.

Hestia moved in front of her daughter and looked up into her deep brown eyes. "You're not fine and you haven't been. Its okay to tell me everything and cry. I'm your momma, its what I'm supposed to see." Hestia kissed her forehead and nose, wrapping her daughter in her arms once more.

"Tell me everything."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-21 09:00 pm UTC (link)

"Stop," Eris lashed out, half from grief, half because she didn't want to be forced to face uncomfortable truths. "Maybe it's 'okay' but I don't want to do it." She mentally kicked herself, knowing full well that she was probably hurting her mother but that's how it always happened. Keep it to yourself, blow up, hurt others. Eris was destructive and she knew it but she had no idea how not to be. She was a natural disaster. Hurricane Eris.

That was the problem with Jones women—they were too much to handle, hard to love. Love them and you'd be in for the best ride of your life, hold on tight and you'd never regret it. But it was hard to hold onto them, hard to keep up with them, hard to love them without condition. She loved her mother more than just about anything, but her father hadn't tried hard enough to hold on, or so she'd decided. He hadn't loved her enough, hadn't held up his end of it. And if he couldn't keep up with her mother ... what was to make him able to keep up with her? Every inch of this fucking place seemed to be crawling with her father and not a single one of them knew her and would never know her. And if they got to know her, not a single one of them had any obligation to love her, no reason to try hard and hold on tight. That was what killed her. They loved fucking Teddy so much, they'd had at least three of him/her.

"It doesn't matter. That kind of love doesn't really exist and nothing last forever, anyway," she added. She wished she could throw something, anything, but there was nothing, really, that she could.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-21 09:56 pm UTC (link)

Hestia was stunned. For a brief moment, she had no idea of what to do or say. She wanted to tell her daughter that she was wrong, that sometimes, it just didn't work out. Hestia sat there in silence, letting both of them breath and hopefully collect their thoughts. She wasn't sure what to feel at the moment, but what mattered is that her daughter was to be okay.

Eris wasn't okay and nothing Hestia did now was going to fix anything.

"...it exists. Your grandparents had it, before your grandpa died. Auntie Tuni and Uncle Peter...they have it. It exists...just..." Hestia couldn't bring herself to say it. She choked up and looked away, the tone of her voice sounding quite different from earlier and much more serious. "It sometimes doesn't work out...and that's your biggest gamble in life. Bet big and sometimes, you come out a winner."

Inhaling deeply, she closed her dark eyes, collecting her composure. Now wasn't the best time to breakdown in front of her daughter. Her spine straightened, her shoulders squared back.

"I took a gamble with your father and...it didn't pay off. I won't lie to you and say that we were perfect for one another. Far from it. But I also won't lie and say I never loved him. I do, just not in the way most married couples do. You know your father and I didn't conceive you both on normal circumstances but things happen."

Hestia swallowed the ball of tears she felt was building up and let out another sigh.

"I never wanted for you to turn out like me. I mean the drinking and having fun you got down pretty good...but...I never wanted to hear that nothing lasts out of your mouth...but I can't blame you for saying it. I can't blame you for believing in it. And I think in that aspect...I failed you and your brother."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-21 11:00 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, well," Eris shot back, "it's a really shitty risk with minimal return on investment, so what's the fucking point?" She scowled, nerves electric from not being able to release the negative energy she was holding in. Wrapping her arms around herself defensively, she paced, trying not to look at her mother, trying not to see the damage her words were causing.

She stopped, though, when Hestia mentioned her and Bran and her eyes narrowed. "Things happen? Is that your motivational spiel? 'We didn't really love each other but things happen and WOOPS we got pregnant and thanks to you guys coming along we took a gamble and, well fuck, it just didn't pay off.'"

Eris let out a puff of air through her lips and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "You didn't fail us. And fuck him for not trying hard enough." She didn't know if she really meant that last bit. She was angry, yeah. Angry that her parents split, angry that love sucked, angry that he wasn't here and angry that the hims that were here didn't love her, anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-21 11:10 pm UTC (link)

Eris had hit a nerve and it cracked Hestia's core of steel. Tears started to roll down her cheeks as her daughter spoke harshly about the situation. "For the record..we didn't try for you. We tried for us. We knew we'd be good parents to you both, that wasn't the issue." Hestia turned around and wiped the tears away.

"And maybe it wasn't your father who didn't try hard enough."

It hurt. She couldn't look at her own daughter, not like this. "Don't be angry at him for something that was not in his control. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything was fucking perfect, Eris. Nothing is perfect but fuck us for trying, right?"

The tears started to pour and the most Hestia could do was hold her breath to keep any more from coming. Looking up at the ceiling, she closed her eyes and breathed slowly.

"What else aren't you telling me?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-21 11:20 pm UTC (link)

That was the problem with being so much like someone, you knew how to say exactly the wrong things. She hated that she'd made her mother cry, hated that she'd had to be the one to break the news that had caused this whole conversation to begin with. He should have been here. He should have had to take responsibility for this, not her. But he wasn't here and she and her mother were all each other had by way of actual family.

Frowning, she closed her eyes and bowed her head for a few moments, not saying anything else that would break her mother because that was the absolute last thing she wanted to do.

After a stretch of silence, Eris finally replied, "Nothing." Voice quiet, secretive and distant.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-21 11:26 pm UTC (link)

"You're lying."

It was more of a snap more than anything and Hestia had to bite back her tongue from saying anything further. With a low hiss, Hestia turned right back around, looking as if she hadn't cried at all. "I'd like to think I know my own daughter better than that." In two quick steps, Hestia looped an arm around her daughter's waist and pulled her close.

"Don't be angry at us for not being perfect. Merlin knows I'm not."

Planting a kiss on the top of Eris' head, she tilted her daughter's head up by her chin.

"Now could you please stop lying to me?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-21 11:55 pm UTC (link)

"I'm not angry at you," Eris mumbled, and it was true. None of the reasons why she was angry had anything to with something her mother had done. "And I don't want to talk about it anymore." Which, wasn't a lie, really. She couldn't really remember exactly why she'd had questions in the first place or what good she thought might come from talking about things she never wanted to talk about, anyway.

She didn't want to shut her mother out but it was an inevitability when she was shutting unwanted emotions out, too.

Letting out a breath, she said, "I miss Bran. But I don't even know if I want Dad to show up here now."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-22 12:21 am UTC (link)

Hestia respected her daughter's wish of dropping the subject. She didn't need Eris blowing up on her more than once in one day. "I miss him too." And then she paused. After a brief moment of thought, Hestia spoke once more. "I wouldn't mind if your dad showed up here. And I know you would want him to be here...he is your dad." It was nice to have a mother around, but Hestia knew what it was like to grow up without a father.

"I'm sorry, for what we put you and your brother through."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

harlotstarlet
2012-08-22 01:14 am UTC (link)

Eris honestly didn't know if she wanted her father here. What if he got here and he wanted to get to know all the Teddys? Or that other French wench with the Lupin name? What if he liked them better because they had magic? She couldn't even cast Lumos without Tau's stupid staff. Shrugging she said, "I have you here, that's all I want."

Shaking her head before resting it on Hestia's shoulder, she said, "You didn't put me through anything bad." If there was one thing that was true, it was that, no matter what, she was always going to be on her momma's side.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intoyourheart
2012-08-22 01:20 am UTC (link)

"And I can't imagine your father putting you through anything bad either." Feeling the weight of Eris' head on her shoulder, Hestia leaned in more to give her a hug.

"We'll be fine here. I'm not leaving you and in the mean time you find your happiness here, you hear me? I'm already proud that you're so fiercely independent and almost as badass as I am, but...I want you to be everything you are...here."

Hestia meant it. She wanted the world for Eris and if that meant sacrificing a few things, she'd do it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)