lily potter defies your dark lords. (thricedefied) wrote in fissuresrpg, @ 2011-02-02 13:09:00 |
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“Merlin’s pants, why are there so many people here right now!” Lily’s exclamation was vehement as she and James pushed through the people gathered at the railway station, a telling outward sign of her current anxiety. Harry was here, their son was here. It was only a little over a week ago since she and James had made promises to each other go on and live, even with what they had lost in their first life and this one, yet she knew they both still dreamed about this very thing, having Harry back, and now he was here. But he wasn’t with them. He was alone until they found him and he might honestly still think this was all a dream. Could they both live up to that dream? She couldn’t worry about that now. They just had to find him. “I’ll go this way, you go that, and one of us can yell when we find him,” she said, squeezing James’ hand one last time before releasing it and taking off into the throng of people. Her heart in her throat from a mixture of overwhelming joy and irrational fear, she searched as she called out to him. “Harry! Harry Potter!” Her bright head of hair would be a beacon in this crowd even with her size, no doubt, but a dark-haired boy was far less easy to see. At least she and James had never been able to find Platform 9 ¾ here, as that would have been one more place to search right now. Harry, still dazed after everything he’d just learned, was having trouble moving. Though he had grown over his year away at Hogwarts, he was still small for his age, and was jostled about easily by the crowds of adults moving through the train station. After a particularly large man trod on his foot, Harry let out a small yelp and realized he needed to get out of the way. Thankful that he’d changed out of his school robes before he’d fallen asleep on the train and ended up here, Harry pushed his way through the crowd. The last thing he would have wanted was to attract even more attention to himself by having to do it in wizard robes as opposed to his jeans and trainers. He found an unoccupied bench along the far wall of the station and sat down, grateful to be out of the surging mass of commuters. Searching the crowd for untidy black hair that matched his, or vibrant red, he thought about everything that had just happened. He’d ended his term at Hogwarts, and boarded the train with his friends. They’d been playing cards, eating sweets, and talking loudly. At some point he must have dozed off, because he awoke here. It was King’s Cross, but there was no Platform 9 ¾, save for his wand he had none of his belongings, and he’d acquired a journal. Looking down, Harry gingerly opened the journal again, staring at the names and faces. His parents. His parents were here. It seemed both a lovely and cruel dream. Something he never wanted to wake up from, but would inevitably have to. He ran his fingers over their words before shutting his eyes and wishing with every fiber of his being that he wouldn’t wake up and find it had all been a dream. His eyes were still closed when he heard someone shouting his name. Green eyes snapped open, and gripping the journal tightly, Harry scrambled to stand up on the bench, so he could see above the crowd. He saw the hair first. Long bright red hair. He immediately felt a lump form in his throat, but swallowed it so he could shout in return. “Mum!” He yelled it as loudly as he could, and waved his arms in the air for good measure. She turned and looked at him, and for the first time in his life, Harry could see that they did have the same eyes. He shouted again before jumping down off the bench and pushing his way through the crowd to get to her. Well on her way to a fine fit imagining all the things that could have happened between the last thing Harry has written and now, Lily stopped dead in her tracks the moment she heard the ‘Mum’ ring out over the din in the station. The last time anyone had yelled that near her, it had been a toddler just developing a vocabulary, so understandably the tones had changed, but what didn’t change was its ability to affect her. Tears welled, for the moment unshed, and she had to scrub furiously at her eyes for a second to keep them from impairing her vision. She saw him for just a moment before he jumped off the bench, but that one moment was enough to tell her which way to go to get to him. Even if she and James hadn’t seen those movies, even if they hadn’t ended up in that future time they’d never lived to see, she would have known her son the moment she saw him. For one, a mother just knew, and for another, he still looked so much like James that it took her breath away. But it didn’t take her mobility from her. She usually tried to be a polite person to strangers, mannerly and gracious, but that was forgotten as she pushed between people, or all but pushed them out of her way, to reach her son. When she was finally close enough to see him, just feet away, she nearly tripped over herself to close that distance. He was far from a baby, but not yet a fully grown man, so Lily didn’t hesitate to scoop him up into her arms when she reached him, body barely protesting the sudden, unaccustomed weight in her arms as she held him to her as though never planning to release him again. The tears started to fall then, unchecked and unashamed, as she murmured his name and pressed hurried kisses to his messy hair and rounded cheeks. It wasn’t just relief to have found him in the crowd - no, that was just the tip of a very emotional iceberg, as it were. It was joy and love and grief and guilt and so much more, born from what they had lost and what he had been given as wretched substitute for what he had deserved to have, but most of all from the ability to hold her son and feel the reality of her and James’ sacrifice. For all her nightmares, Harry had lived, and was now here in her arms. Harry, not really big enough to shove some of the adults out of the way, did his best to slip in between the bodies, trying to get to his mother as quickly as possible. Flairs of anger and frustration would crop up every time he had to stop because someone had gotten in his way, and at one point he yelled out, “Move!” at a man in a pinstriped suit who stopped directly in front of him. Though it only took a few moments to actually reach her, to Harry it felt much too long. His heart thudded almost painfully in his chest when they finally got to one another. His throat was tight as he struggled not to cry. After ten years of living with the Dursleys, of being shut in a cupboard under the stairs, and being told nothing except how no good and worthless he was, he was now wrapped tightly in his mother’s arms. Not caring if they were making a spectacle of themselves, Harry clung to her, his arms wrapped around her in return. He might have managed to hold his tears at bay if she hadn’t started crying. She loved him. She was his mum, and she loved him. He had seen glimpses of her in the Mirror or Erised, but those reflections couldn’t hold a candle to the feel of her embrace, of her voice saying his name, of her kissing his face. Tears spilling over and down his cheeks, Harry buried his face in her neck, the words, “You’re real,” getting muffled into her shirt. The sound Lily uttered at Harry’s response was half-laugh, half-sob. “Very, very real, I promise,” she said between nonsense sounds of comfort, knowing that while being here and touchable was proof, it would take time for Harry to truly feel this was real, not some dream. Sirius had been the same way about her and James when he had arrived, time to believe they were alive and not some hallucination of a fading mind in Azkaban, and she had been the same way about James when he arrived because his death had still been so fresh. Though he’d buried his face against her, Lily craned her neck to see as much of him as she could, from the wings of impossible-to-tame dark hair to the corner of the spectacles perched on his nose. He was changed in so many ways, but she found that her heart adjusted to those changes effortlessly, as though ten years were nothing of consequence. Unable to resist, she moved one hand upward, stroking it over his hair in a comforting gesture, memorizing the feel of that specific change to her once-baby as she voiced something he’d heard again and again through his life. “You look just like your dad, so very handsome,” she said, smiling brightly down at him, her voice thick with tears. The observation sat for a moment or two, then her mind caught up to her emotions and she remembered James wasn’t just going to find them while they stood here holding each other, at least not in any timely kind of fashion. She’d told him she would call for him, just as she’d expected him to do if he’d been the one to find Harry. “JAMES! James, over here!” But she knew there was no possible way he could hear her unless he hadn’t gone in the opposite direction, not without help. Without giving up too much of her hold on Harry, Lily produced her wand and amplified the next shout for James, then shot a ball of light into the air that hung just above her and Harry’s heads, high enough to be seen from a distance but still close enough to be used to find them. In this strange world called the Hub, magic wasn’t bound by secrecy and didn’t even surprise many of the natives when used, but even if she was still under the dictates of the Ministry of Magic, she would have done it and anything else necessary to bring James to them. That done, meaning James’ arrival at this spot was assured, she tucked her wand back into her sleeve and returned all of her attention to Harry. “I’ve missed you, love,” she murmured, ruffling his hair only to smooth it again. “More than there are any words to say.” Harry loosened his hold on her only slightly, pulling back to look at her. His cheeks still wet with tears, Harry slid his hand into the sleeve of his shirt and used it to try his eyes. He beamed when she said that he looked like his dad. He’d heard it many times before that moment, but it meant more to him now, with James here somewhere. Alive and nearby, not just someone’s distant memory. Though he was certainly biased, in that moment, Harry was quite sure he’d never seen anyone who looked quite as lovely as Lily Potter. He sniffled and straightened his glasses, just taking her in. How she could even possibly be related to horrible, bone-y faced Aunt Petunia was beyond Harry’s comprehension. Her smile was so bright, Harry couldn’t help but echo it. When she shouted for James, he tried to smarten himself up a little bit. Suddenly embarrassed of his dirty trainers, and too big clothes. He stopped fussing, however, when she used her wand to amplify her voice and send a ball of light into the air. He stared up at it, a bit open mouthed. Could she do that? Surely the muggles...but a cursory glance around the station showed that people barely even noticed. Wide green eyes focused in on her as she returned her attention to him. Any questions he’d been considering asking her about this place, the people in it, faded as she smiled at him again. He didn’t care. There would be time enough for that later. For now the only thing that mattered was that he had his parents back. His chest tightened painfully at her words. No one had ever missed him before. No one had ever cared enough to. The lump in his throat was back. He looked up at her, desperately wanting to find the words to tell her how much this all meant to him. But his mind couldn’t think of the words, and even if it had, he wasn’t sure his mouth could even say them. Instead, Harry threw his arms around her in another embrace. Kissing her and holding onto her tightly. As he did so, glancing over her shoulder, he caught his first glimpse of his father rushing toward them. James was terrified. He was alone in the train station, and somewhere, among all the pushing and shoving people, were his son and wife. Were it any other situation, James would have insisted that he and Lily stick together, because somehow he thought the odds of her disappearing were smaller if he kept an eye on her, but he too felt the need to have one of them find Harry before something happened. It still seemed surreal to think that Harry was here, Harry was old enough to write and speak clearly and, even more intimidating, decide to like or not like someone. Harry was a child with an idealized father and mother (after his parents died before he could have any memories of his own to remember them by). Harry could well decide that he didn’t live up to the dream of The James Potter. However, the worry at not being liked was nothing compared to the worry of not being able to find his son. At first James muttered ‘pardon me’ and other niceties as he tried to get through the crowd, but after only a few minutes he was pushing and trying to slip past people. Once, when he saw a small child with dark hair he was certain he had found Harry, but when he raced close enough to get a closer look he saw the face was all wrong. He was nearly frantic by the time he heard Lily’s magnified voice, and saw the ball of light. He took off at a sprint, nearly trampling some poor travelers in the process. And then he saw them. Lily was holding Harry, and for an instant he was transported to a lifetime ago when Lily would hold Harry close and kiss his messy hair when he fell down after taking a few steps. Merlin, he looks the same. For one awful minute he stood there, unsure of what to do or say, but almost against his control his legs started carrying him forward. When he was within arms’s reach he wrapped his arms around both of them. They were all together again. “Harry,” James’s voice was almost reverent as he said the name that had been painful to even think about for so long. “You have no idea how glad we are to have you here.” Words weren’t needed for Lily, because as far as she was concerned, it was Harry that needed to hear so many things, not her. She could never undo what he’d experienced in the care, if one could even begin to call it that, of her sister’s family. She couldn’t change the course of his future in their world without being there. But what she could do was love him, with her whole heart and more each day, here in this world. And she intended to. Wrapped up in her son quite literally, Lily didn’t know James had found them until those familiar arms slipped around her and Harry. For the first time in months, for the first time since she had found herself in the world instead of whatever came after that flash of green light, Lily finally felt complete. Yes, people they dearly loved still weren’t here, but their son was. No parent could wish for anything greater than that. In danger of renewing her tears at the overwhelming, amazing feelings, Lily lifted her face from Harry’s hair and looked at James. Though she never wanted to let go of Harry ever again for any reason, even if it was impossible to know if such an action would be effective at keeping him here always, it was only fair that James get his own one-to-one moments with Harry too. So, telling herself that it was only a change of position, not really having to let go of Harry entirely, she loosened her grip on him and guided him into James’ arms alone. Harry had been unable to tear his eyes away from James as he had watched his father approach them. It wasn't until he felt that second set of arms envelope him, that he had to shut his eyes against the sharp sting of tears. He struggled with waves of clashing emotions. Wonder at being wrapped in the arms of his parents again for the first time since he was a baby. Anxiety that somehow, he wouldn't be what they'd expected of him. Crushing fear that this was a trick of some kind, and that at any moment he'd lose them and be an orphan once again. But more than anything else, Harry was overwhelmed with a sense of love and belonging. He'd spent his life being an outcast. He'd thought that had changed forever when he'd left the muggle world behind and began his education at Hogwarts, but that couldn't possibly compare to this moment. He was aware of being moved. Eyes opened again, and he released his grip on Lily. Then he was there, in his father's arms, and he felt lightheaded. His eyes were rimmed with red, and his glasses were slipping down his nose. He shoved them back into place, staring up at James with a mix of love and awe. He let out a mad little laugh, his face splitting with a grin. "Hi, Dad." Dad. It was such a simple word, with just three letters, but it was one he hadn’t ever heard completely before. Harry had worked his way up to ‘Dada’ fairly, and by October James was known as ‘Da’ to the baby, but hearing Harry’s mature voice say ‘Hi Dad’ nearly made James burst with pride. “Hello, Harry.” He held Harry to him with one strong arm, and moved his other hand to smooth Harry’s hair down. It was a familiar gesture, one he used to do all the time when Harry was much smaller. Even then he was impressed with how much Harry looked like him, but now the resemblance was uncanny. Except for the eyes. Lily’s eyes. “You’ve grown up. You turned out perfectly.” If James had been bursting with pride at hearing Harry call him dad, it was nothing compared to what Harry felt when his father said his name. Still smiling, he straightened up, taking a deep breath to help him get himself under control. Despite his maturity, Harry was still just a child, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his excitement in check. Each moment James and Lily were there, touching him, speaking to him, they became more real to him. He was beginning to have trouble keeping still. He ducked his head, suddenly feeling bashful at James' compliment. Even that, however, couldn't keep the smile on his face at bay. His cheeks were beginning to ache, it was one of the best feelings in the world. He studied James. It was true. They really did look so much like one another. Quite suddenly, hundreds of things rushed into his head. All things he wanted to tell them, to share with them, to make them proud. How he'd made Seeker on the house team. The marks he'd gotten in school. The troll. Keeping Voldemort from getting the Sorcerer's Stone. But he wasn't sure where to even start. He looked from James to Lily and back again. "So did you," he finally responded, throwing his arms around James in a tight hug. James laughed quietly at the way that Harry told him he turned out perfectly. It was wonderful to know that his son approved of him, even if Harry really didn’t know him well enough to make any judgements. The real test would come later, when he actually had to do something Dadlike for the boy. In the mean time, however, he was grateful just to have his son back in his arms again. “Let’s get you home.” James had so rarely called the flat home recently, because with only him and Lily, the place seemed entirely too large with too many empty rooms. “We’ve got a room for you, Harry, and things for you to use. We’ll get even more now that you’re here.” He and Lily hadn’t known if or when Harry would arrive, and they didn’t know how old he’d be if he did show up one day, so they had gathered toys and clothing and games for various ages. Now that they had Harry here, and knew how old he was, James knew that he and Lily would delight in spoiling him the way that they had always intended to. They’d delight in filling his days with happy surprises. He knew it would never make up for the deprived life in the cupboard under the stairs, but at least, James reasoned, if Harry knew he was going to be safe and cared for, he could look forward to the second half of his life. Harry beamed at the sound of James’ laughter. The Dursleys never laughed. And if they did, is was generally snide or malicious. Only a few minutes with his parents and they were already everything that his aunt and uncle never were. They were what they should be. Harry breathed in deeply, inhaling the smell of his dad before releasing him from his hug. He had thought Hogwarts would be his real home. But now an entirely new world was opening up before him. One where he had his own room, filled with things that were actually bought for him, not just castoffs given out of necessity. A place where he could sit on the sofa and watch telly with his parents. Where they could eat meals together. A place where they could be a family. He nodded to James, before slipping his hand into his father’s. Then he turned back to look at Lily and held his other hand out for hers. Hand pressed to her mouth in an ineffective gesture to stem the tears, Lily watched James and Harry together almost hungrily, desperate to soak in every second of this to fill the void that existed between her last memories of Harry and now. So close together as they were, it was impossible not to see how alike they looked, but it also gave her the first chance to begin to see the differences too, the obvious and subtle contributions of her that didn’t completely make Harry into a miniature of James. She had to shake herself when Harry held out his hand to her, taking his hand with a sheepish and still tearful smile. “Yes, let’s go home,” she said, savouring the word as she hadn’t in months. There was so much to do when they reached the flat, things to sort out of the room that were too big or too small for Harry - even now she didn’t notice the state of his well-worn, too big clothing, because the boy himself was still what held her attention - or too young for him to play with, food to buy for more balanced and elaborate meals and sweets, alterations to the flat to give the three of them a bit more room than had been needed for two, plans to make about the things to do as a family that they hadn’t gotten the chance to do. Just so much to do. She met James’ gaze over the top of Harry’s head as they started forward and smiled wider at him, deeply connected in that moment by the acute understanding of how the other must feel right now. Things were going to be better now, for all of them. “Have you ever Side-Along Apparated before, Harry?”” she asked, looking down at Harry as the three, hands still linked, worked their way along the outer part of the crowd to get to a place where Apparition would be James squeezed Harry’s hand when he offered it tightly, but he was very careful not to squeeze so tightly as to hurt. Now that Harry wasn’t so close, he could look down at his son and see that the boy’s clothes were too large, and looked obviously worn. Never again, James thought, would his son go without or not be the priority. He met Lily’s eyes over Harry’s head, and he knew that she was thinking the same things. There was so much to do, so much to plan. They had ten years to make up for. Apparating could be a very odd experience for a child to process, and knowing Lily’s vile relatives, Harry’s magical upbringing had probably been nonexistant until recently. There were so many things that James wanted to ask, that hadn’t been answered in the books and movies, but the time for that was when Harry was safe at home. “Either way,” James said confidently. “We’ll find a way to get you home, Harry.” Harry glanced up and saw his parents smiling at one another over the top of his head. It gave him a warm, comforting feeling, and he smiled wider, squeezing both of their hands as they made their way through the station. However, Harry knew next to nothing about Apparation. He’d heard the term mentioned once or twice throughout the course of his lessons. He knew that it was the process of disappearing from one place and appearing in another. And he knew that you had to pas a test to do so. But he’d never even heard the term Side-Along Apparate, let alone done it. “What’s that?” He asked, shaking his head. His head twisted around to glance up at James when he spoke. He nodded. His nerves settled by the knowledge that his parents would get him to their home safely. He smiled happily, and walked a bit faster. He was already picturing the things they’d all do together at home, and he wanted to get there as soon as possible. “It’s the way underaged wizards, or even Muggles as it turns out, can still Apparate,” Lily explained as they neared a spot that wasn’t congested by people, “just by holding on to the person in charge of the actual Apparition. Sadly, it isn’t a pleasant sensation, it will feel like you’re being squeezed from all sides very strongly, but we’ve both had plenty of experience of getting others from one place to another, so you’ll be perfectly safe.” That the experience had been on missions and in skirmishes with Death Eaters with quick exits or injured individuals was a fact better left unvoiced. Lily hadn’t really seen herself at the kind of mother to edit reality to be kinder to her children, and Harry was already quite grown up for his age, but right now it didn’t seem relevant to tell him that she and James weren’t here from before their murders or go into detail about things like the war. Today was a happy day. “It’s important that you don’t suck in your breath and hold it, as that will make the pressure a bit worse and might make you queasy,” she advised as she came to a stop, then squeezed his hand tightly and looked at James, silently asking which of them would be the one to take Harry. It would be slightly safer that way, one of them taking him, rather than both compensating for Harry, given how emotional they all were right now. James knew exactly what Lily was asking when she looked at him over Harry’s head, and for a moment he didn’t know how to answer her. The last thing that he wanted was to forfeit even a moment of time with his son, but on the other hand, he knew it was far safer for just one of them to take control of getting Harry home in one piece. If he were not in one piece, it would be excruciating, and that was far more bothersome to James than the thought of Lily and Harry being out of his sight for a few moments. In the end, it wasn’t much of a decision at all. He squeezed Harry’s hand, then let go. Lily’s blood had kept Harry safe all these years. Her sacrifice was why their son was still alive. He’d trust her with his own life, and he could certainly trust her to get Harry where he deserved to be. “Your Mum’s an old pro at this.” He said confidently. “It will be over before you know it, and then we’ll celebrate at home. I’ll go first, and show you how it’s done.” James knew, after all, that that was the only way he could really handle this. If he was the first to go, he could wait for them at home. If he watched them disappear before his very eyes, he knew the sleepless nights would never really end. Harry looked up at Lily, watching her as she explained. He did feel a flair of nerves, but tried to quell them at her assurances that he’d be perfectly safe. Besides, he consoled himself, after everything he’d just gone through with Voldemort and Quirell trying to get their hands on the Sorcerer’s Stone, a bit of squeezing couldn’t be that bad, right? He took a deep breath and swallowed. James had let go of his hand, and Harry watched him with rapt attention. He didn’t dare blink in case he missed something. But there wasn’t much to miss. One moment his dad was standing in front of him, and the next he wasn’t. The only change being a slight popping noise just as he disappeared. Harry had never seen anyone Apparate before, and his mouth dropped open slightly. His worry at having to watch his father disappear in front of his eyes was countered by his amazement and the comforting feel of his hand in Lily’s. He tried to remember Lily’s instructions. Much as he wanted to take a deep breath and hold it, he did the opposite, letting out a long whoosh of air. He held her hand a little tighter, trying not to imagine her disappearing like James had and leaving him all alone in this place once again. “Ready?” The reason James chose to go first was one Lily perfectly understood, because who knew when everything might change, for the better like Harry’s arrival, or for the worse, like Sirius’ disappearance. But she was a witch, even if she hadn’t lived in the magical world all her life, and the sight of Disapparition was an incredibly familiar one. What guided her now was an instinct stronger than self-preservation - maternal protectiveness. Letting Harry out of her sight right now was just something she couldn’t contemplate. So she didn’t watch James leave, just watched Harry and waited for him to be ready. The moment he said it, she acted, so there wasn’t time for him to suck that breath in again instinctively. The familiar pressure all over was there for a moment, the sensation one Lily had long since grown used to, and then their surroundings were the relatively quiet inside of the Potter’s flat instead of the bustling station. Once inside, Lily dropped to one knee and pressed a hand to Harry’s cheek, gaze concerned but not worried. If it had been enough to worry about, they would have found another way home, but she was concerned about his state after that first experience just the same. “Are you all right?” she asked, searching his face - familiar and new all at once - for signs he was queasy or dizzy or adversely affected in other ways. It took just a few moments for Lily and Harry to appear, but they were anxious ones for James. He spent the time putting on some hot cocoa, and when he heard the small pop that signified they had arrived, he let out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He could see Lily checking Harry over, so he knew that he shouldn’t rush over and do the same (after all, the last thing that he wanted was to make Harry think that Apparition was something to fear) but he looked Harry over from where he stood, and was relieved to see he was all in one piece. He could also see the concern on Lily’s face. This was a completely new experience to them both. Harry looked so familiar, and James could see an abundance of similarities to the infant he kissed goodnight every night, but he was also different as well. He was old enough to make judgements and talk in complete sentences and get into trouble on his own. He was, however, still young enough to get frightened over things that seemed mundane to them, or feel completely disoriented after such a new experience. Trying to reassure them both, James spoke first. “Of course he is. He’s home.” Harry didn’t like the sensation of apparating at all. He had tried his best not to hold his breath in like Lily had instructed, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. It had been instinct. The experience hadn’t been painful, exactly, but it wasn’t pleasant at all. Harry sucked in a deep breath to help ease the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. And then she was kneeling next to him, her hand pressed against his face, and Harry forgot about the awkward sensation of apparation. He looked at Lily, her face the picture of maternal concern, and then over to James who had just moved into the room. He smiled and nodded his agreement with his dad. “I’m fine.” He reached a small hand out and let it rest on Lily’s arm reassuringly, before turning around to look at his new home. Satisfied enough to let the issue drop, Lily nodded and then got back on her feet. “So. Home. Your dad and I didn’t do much with the flat before now because it was just the two of us, but we’ll get it in order immediately,” she promise, looking around the place. It was comfortable, even if it wasn’t very lived in, and though they didn’t have the Gringott’s vault, they’d managed to collect a number of decent-quality things both magical and non, like the entertainment system. Still, it wasn’t enough now. It needed to be bigger, warmer, homey. “Are you thirsty?” She almost asked him if he was hungry, but before it was uttered, reason reminded her he likely wouldn’t want to eat just yet. “Do you want to rest? Maybe we should show you your room, yeah? Some of it will need to be moved out, as we got a bit carried away making certain we had things for you if you ever came here, but there’s enough in there ready to be used now.” Especially clothing. Even now her stomach churned with directionless anger at her sister because of those clothes he was wearing, clothing she’d read about, fumed about and then proceeded to buy at least one outfit for every size she could imagine just so there would be something new for him here, waiting, in case he ever arrived. But she smiled brightly at him and refused to show that anger. “I don’t know what it is about being brought to this place,” she said, the sudden fussing, the bright chatter and her laugh all nervous in a way because the shock was melting away to leave her scrambling to try and do everything he deserved to have her do for him, all at once, “but I think my skin itched until I was able to wash up. I’m certain there’s at least one change of clothes in there if you’d like to clean up a bit before settling in?” It was another slight falsehood, as she hadn’t felt itchy so much as strange when she’d arrived here, but soaking in a tub while trying to cope with her situation had helped. The reason she phrased it so, however, was because she didn’t want Harry to feel uncomfortable about the state of his attire, because it wasn’t his fault. James watched Lily fussing over Harry with an amused look. She was still chattering away, and he knew that he should reign her in, but it did him good to see Lily so animated and happy rather than animated with anger. They hadn’t been this happy since before Halloween. Still, Lily couldn’t get Harry rested, fed, napped, hydrated and cleaned all at once. There was no question that Harry had suffered extreme neglect for a long time, and that they would try to make up for it, but they couldn’t make up for everything at once. They’d start, James decided, with the bedroom. For far too long the bedroom had been a sore spot for James. He added things there as well, soft, snuggly baby toys meant for children even younger than their Harry had been and clothing that was large enough for James himself to wear, but he seldom lingered in the room for long. Even walking past it with room with the small, handcrafted crib and larger, sturdy bed while the door was open could bring on a wave of missing Harry so much it brought him to his knees. It wasn’t fair that for months the only way he had to watch his child grow up was by reading a book or watching movies. It wasn’t fair that he read and saw Harry going through things that he wanted to stop, that he wanted to protect Harry from, and he could do nothing. That all changed here. “Let’s see your room first, Harry, then we’ll get started on the rest.” It was a start, the first step of what he hoped would be a long and happy life for Harry here. He walked closer to Harry and Lily, and offered Harry his hand. He knew instinctively that Lily would take the other, because neither of them wanted to be far away from their son now, and that they’d show him the room they had set apart just for him together. There would never again be a need for hand-me-downs or sleeping in a cupboard. Harry now had a bed and a closet and after Lily was finished, he was certain that Harry would have more clothing that fit him perfectly than any boy his age did. Of course Harry appreciated Lily’s attempts to subtly help him adjust to this strange new world he had found himself in. But the last thing on the eleven year old’s mind was taking a bath and cleaning himself up. There were far to many things to see and do. Questions to ask. He didn’t know if this place was permanent or if he could be taken away again at any moment. He certainly didn’t want to waste time washing up. But he didn’t exactly want to say no to his mother either, so he was grateful when James suggested the go see Harry’s room first. Harry nodded energetically before reaching out to take James’ hand and automatically held his other out to Lily. He followed James into the bedroom. His bedroom. Even though he’d finally been given a bedroom in the house on Privet Drive, it had never really been his. Harry had almost no belongings of his own, and the room, stuffed as it was with all of Dudley’s things, had never felt like it belonged to him. Harry’s heart swelled with joy and excitement. A small voice in the back of his mind still wanted to question it. He was so unused to people wanting to give him things, that it felt unnatural. But he pushed the voice aside and took in the room. Toys and clothes. A comfortable bed. And everything had been picked out just for him. Letting go of his parents’ hands for the moment, Harry took a running leap and flopped on his stomach in the center of the bed. He laughed, before scrambling back up into a sitting position, mussing the blankets up a bit in the process. He looked around the room, eyes wide, not missing a thing. Had he been a few years younger, Harry might have immediately jumped off the bed and begun playing with some of the toys the bedroom held. As it was, though, he turned his attention back to James and Lily, eyes shining as he beamed at up at them. “I love it!” Breath nearly held, Lily watched Harry for his reaction to the room. True, it would have been arranged perfectly if she’d had even an inkling he was coming, but she hoped that seeing the things that weren’t exactly suited for him, from children’s toys to clothing too big for him, would still show him how wanted he was. How wanted he had always been. She wasn’t disappointed by the reaction, not in the slightest. Swallowing hard, to keep another sudden attack of dampness on her eyelashes from becoming more, she reached out and gripped James’ hand tightly. For the first time in a long time, the world felt right in a way she once remembered it feeling, made a little more sense amid the madness of this place. After all the losses and uncertainties, could they really ask for more than that? She smiled to herself. No, she didn’t think they could. James squeezed Lily’s hand back hard. He was already making plans for the room, using the extra space freed up by removing the inappropriate items for more toys, maybe a bigger desk...he and Sirius had always been into some sort of mischief when he was Harry’s age, and he knew exactly the sort of things that most boys Harry’s age would want. But he didn’t know exactly the sort of things that Harry wanted. Again the thought hit him of how much lost time there was to make up for, how much about his son he didn’t know, but James brushed the sad thought aside and decided to save it for later. For now he’d focus on Harry, and be glad that something as simple as a warm, comfy bed could make his son happy. “We’ll fix it up over the next few weeks,” he promised his son sincerely. “Take out the baby stuff and pack away the things that are too big for you to use later.” It was all of the best quality, but James didn’t want Harry thinking that he’d be forced to make due with clothing that was too large for even a day. “You’ll have a lot of extra space in here after we take out all of the extra things, so if you would like to have something, let your Mum or me know. We’ll take care of it.” They might not have the luxury of a vault full of golden coins here, but James and Lily had their ingenuity, Lily’s charm skills and James’s bullheaded stubbornness to guarantee that Harry would want for nothing here. Harry almost didn’t know what to do with himself. He had his parents back. He had his own room. He had a real family in a real home. It was something he had dreamed about for as long as he could remember dreaming. And now it was here, and it was his, and he held onto the feelings inside him fiercely. He never wanted it to go away. Their situation may not have been perfect, but from Harry’s point of view, it certainly seemed so. He smiled and nodded at James, the idea of wanting anything more than the gifts he had just been given barely registered. He moved around the room, his room. He trailed his fingers over surfaces, touching things, needing to know that it was all real. He moved with intent, and purpose, but the smile never once left his face. His eyes were bright as he took it all in. It was amazing. Harry turned back to face his parents again, standing together near the doorway, holding hands, looking just as he’d always pictured they might. He wished he could find the words to tell them just how much everything meant to him. How much they meant to him. But the words wouldn’t come. But in the end, he didn’t really need them. He barrelled toward them, thumping into the two of them and wrapping his arms around both of them in a tight hug. |