moony. (anightwithout) wrote in fissuresrpg, @ 2012-06-25 08:26:00 |
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Haley’s head was spinning. And for the first time in what felt like forever, it was spinning in a good way and not a, ‘Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick’ way. She’d been having trouble shaking whatever illness seemed to be plaguing her lately. They’d finally ruled out food poisoning, but she was still not feeling herself- tired, nauseous, headachey. She’d hoped she could shake it on her own, but as the days when on and she still didn’t feel any better, she’d finally consented to let Dr. Watson run a few blood tests on her. She’d stayed afterward, playing Mario Kart on her DS while he tested her blood and studied the results. She’d hear him hem and haw occasionally, but it wasn’t until he’d cursed loudly from across the room that she’d shot back to her feet. Before she could ask him what was wrong, he’d started shouting about killing Remus. Haley, as it turned out, was pregnant. When Watson told her the news, her face lit up and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug, despite his insistence that he intended to kill her husband. She kissed him on the cheek, and hurried home to tell Remus the news. She tracked him down in their bedroom, his nose buried in a book. She was a whirl of long limbs and red hair as she descended on him, pulling him in for a long kiss before even saying hello. It was true that Remus was worried about Haley - how couldn't he be, when his wife had gone from healthy and vibrant to sick on a daily basis, and Clara right along with her? - but despite the man's behaviour toward him all this time, he trusted James Watson to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, because even if there was nothing else they shared, they did share the need for Haley's good health and happiness. Watson wouldn't rest, so rather than hover and listen to the usual remarks that might end up irritating Haley while she was sick, he'd stayed in their room. His mind wasn't really on the book, as it often wasn't since coming here, for this entire situation (another version of himself, also happily married, a young Teddy, friends who were still his dear family but had no memory of time in Las Vegas, and so much more) was quite a lot to stomach. He was still distracted when Haley returned, though, so he hadn't yet put down the book when she pounced. He adjusted easily in the chair to accommodate her, enough to get her into his lap properly by the time her lips were on his. It was certainly welcome, if it a bit surprising considering how sick she'd been, but since it was freely offer, Remus freely took, winding his fingers into that fiery hair to keep her close. When at last they broke for air, he cupped her cheek with one hand and looked her over. Definitely an improvement in disposition, so either there was a solution or Watson had already administered some highly effective treatment. "I take I was right and you're not dying," he said, amusement softening his bit of a smirk. Haley had no trouble at all making herself comfortable in Remus’ lap. She curled up against him just so, the way they had many times before. Their faces were close after the kiss ended, and she could still feel the warmth in her cheeks. “No, I’m not dying,” she stuck out her tongue at him for emphasis. “Exactly the opposite in fact.” She reached a hand up and placed it on top of the hand he was cupping her face with. She pulled them away together and guided his hand to her stomach instead. “Care to take a guess?” Her eyes were bright as she kept them fixed on his expression. It didn't click immediately, Haley putting his hand on her stomach. Remus just assumed, since he'd been trying to relieve some of the misery prior with gentle touches, that she wanted him to resume with the rhythmic circling that had seemed to help a little, so he did. His thumb rubbed smaller circles while his palm, and he pretended to think about her challenge, while really, all he intended to answer with was a joke, because honestly, he wasn't sure what the exact opposite of dying was, other than living, and that was a natural state of existence. "You gained superpowers from radioactive lo mein and Watson is writing up a paper on the whole thing right now?" he asked. Haley shook her head and gave him an affectionate roll of her eyes as he failed to get what was right in front of him. “We both know I would be an amazing superhero, but that wasn’t exactly where I was heading.” She leaned forward and touched her forehead to his. “You’re lucky I love you, even when you’re obtuse.” She brushed her lips quickly against his before she sat up straight again. “Let’s try again. Finish this nursery rhyme. First comes love, then comes marriage...” "I'm not obtuse, you're just unnecessarily cryptic," Remus said, his grumpy look entirely affected, as at this point, it no longer bothered him when she was yards ahead of him and he was still sorting things out before reaching a definitive conclusion. He would have prolonged the kiss too, but she popped back too quickly and continued her guessing game. Oh, yes. Rhymes. "First comes love, then comes marriage," he muttered, understanding dawning but not impacting, "then comes the baby-" And that's when it all clicked into place, thought it felt more like a giant fist had hit him from his blind spot. There it was. The answer finally dawned on him and he caught up to her meaning. She watched him sharply, gauging his reaction. She understood that he was shocked, obviously she had been too. It wasn’t like they were trying for children. But once the idea had settled, Haley had been immeasurably happy with the news, and was now desperately praying to any God that would listen to her that her husband’s reaction would be the same. “Remus?” Her hand was still on top of his against her stomach, and she gave it a little squeeze. It took every ounce of willpower Remus had to not tighten his hand on Haley's stomach and give away the tumultuous state of his being. There was so very much he could do wrong right now, with a look or a word or act. He had a history of it, after all. Well, more a future of it, in this case. At least she was still sitting on him, so he couldn't cut and run like his older self had. Baby. Pregnant. Theirs. His. This baby would be half him. While Haley's 'form' of werewolf was far more controllable than his own, there was no possible way to know what the effect his lycanthropy could have on it, and for all that they'd tried to teach him at the Sanctuary about acceptance, Remus still saw his lycanthropy as an unwanted curse, one he would never willingly visit upon anyone. Teddy wasn't affected, but Tonks had been a witch, not a werewolf. The risk here felt was so much greater. But he wasn't a complete idiot. He knew if he spoke any of that out loud right now, he'd upset Haley. Worst case scenario, she'd think he was judging her for who she was, when it reality, it was his contribution he judged. He swallowed, desperately searching for the right words to say to her, like a drowning man claws at his own throat in the last moments of life. The longer he stayed silent, the more worried she became. She swallowed and chewed on the edge of her lip for a moment. Well. If he wasn’t going to say anything, then she needed to. “I know it’s not planned, and I’d be kidding myself if I tried to pretend like you weren’t going to worry about this, I’m worried too. But,” and she made sure to look him directly in the eye as she continued, “Because you’re my husband, and I love you, and I want to have a family with you. I can handle if you’re not okay this very second. But I’d very much like to know that sometime down the line- tomorrow, next week, next month- that you will be okay with things too. Because it’s too late to turn back now, and I could really use you on board here.” Looking into her eyes, Remus couldn't escape the knowledge of how much she needed him to not do the things he was, apparently, capable of doing when confronted with fatherhood. She was saying so, of course, but words were just that, words, without the emotion behind them. No matter how he felt, he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself for making her upset at such a crucial time. His fear wouldn't, couldn't, ever be a wish for harm to this new life. Never. He could keep his fears, his doubts, his anything-that-she-wasn't-also-feeling away from her, and he planned to, because he wouldn't harm her either. "I am on board, Haley." Liar. He kissed her lips, gently, then her forehead, where he lingered as he repeated the words, this assertion made for her. "I am." He was such a liar. She knew he was lying to her. But much as she wanted to call him out, she didn’t want to make things worse with an argument. Instead she closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss, before laying her head on his shoulder. She had a feeling the arguments would arrive sooner or later, and she wasn’t going to help them along. He would come around. She was absolutely positive of that. It would just take him a little time. She snuggled herself against him and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I love you.” "I love you more," Remus said, sliding his fingers gently through her hair, over and over at a slow pace, as though it would calm him or help him think or even both right now. Stick to the immediate facts, that would be a good place to start. The most important of concerns right now was Haley's safety. "Does Watson think he'll need to do for you what Dr Magnus did for Erika?" Not the only one with a life alternate to his Vegas one, Remus had kept versed on details of the show, even though he and Clara had instituted their Secret Distraction to avoid actually watching the show. So Henry's other life, and the complications of two werewolves of their world having a child, were ones he knew. Maybe it was time to watch the episode for himself and see exactly how things had happened. No doubt this would not be the same, as he was a different kind of lycanthrope, but it was close enough. Haley let out a long breath and her eyelids drooped a little as he ran his hands through her hair. It was a familiar, comforting gestures. She assumed it was just as much for his sake as for hers, but it still felt nice. “He’s going to monitor my hormone levels. That’s what made things difficult for Ericka.” Haley and Henry had watched every episode of Sanctuary together, and she remembered talking with him after that episode. It suddenly seemed a very long time ago. She missed him. “It’s possible I might not even need it. Ericka suppressed her HAP abilities for more than half her life, I haven’t. Her body might have reacted differently than mine will. I told him to wait and see how things go, but he’s probably already working on something anyway,” she said not without a hint of affection. Of course she was a little scared about how things might end up, but she was in the care of the best man she had ever known, and she trusted him to see her through everything safely. Wait and see how things go. Oh no. That was unacceptable to Remus. The problem was, it was her body and he wasn't naturally dictatorial about things like that. She and Watson knew far better than he about HAP abilities and scenarios. But. A big but. They didn't know much about his lycanthropy or the effects of combining. Yes, he'd offered up blood and answered questions for Dr Magnus, who no doubt had shared that information with Watson, but he wasn't insane, he hadn't been about to let the man make a test subject of him. Of course, he likely would have to now. "Are you sure it's wise to 'play this by ear', so to speak?" he asked, trying to school his voice into concerned curiosity, instead of anything that sounded remotely like are you mad! judgement. “No,” she answered him honestly. “But I also don’t think it’s wise to mess with my body when we don’t even know how it’s going to be affected yet. Just because Erika had trouble, doesn’t mean I will. My mum had me just fine, didn’t she?” She sighed, allowing herself a moment to wish that Audrey was here with her. “I think waiting and monitoring things is the best way to proceed, but if you’ve got another idea, I’m willing to listen.” Remus wasn't sure if the answer made him feel better or not. There was a logic to it, as Haley wasn't the only child of werewolves, it was likely it went without incident more than it did with, and if precautions were too invasive, it could be a self-fulfilling problem. But oh, how he hated the idea of just waiting. It was passive, it meant time spent far more on what ifs than on facts from tests and the like. "I want to do everything possible to be sure you," the briefest of pauses, a reminder that she wasn't the only one at stake, "both stay healthy. But I don't know what that is." And that he hated the most. She was still curled up against him. From where her head lay against his shoulder, she smiled. “Of course you want that,” she said. “I want that too. But we have to wait just a bit to find out what my body will need. Then between your magic and Dr Watson’s science, I know I’ll be the best looked after girl in the Hub.” She lifted her head up slightly. “Besides,” she added. “Will and Clara are from our future, remember? Do you really think they wouldn’t have warned us if something potentially dangerous happened during the pregnancy?” She leaned up and kissed him gently again. “It will be okay. And when it’s over, we’ll have a little piece of both of us.” Remus wrapped his arms around her, tight but not painfully so, and sighed. It was a sigh of frustration with the option laid out - waiting and living with the unknown, or recanting orders on knowing the future to learn what was waiting. It was his aversion to future knowledge (which had caused problems in the past and still, to this day, affected his choices) and his fear of the answer that kept him from reaching for his phone or the journal right then. "They would have warned us, you're right," he said, but he wasn't so certain. If there was awkwardness, that would have been a sign, but all it meant was there was nothing immediately wrong. Nigel and Nicky might be proof of things being fine, as there was also no dancing around things like they had something they felt should be shared, but they could also just be accepting of whatever had happened to the point of it not seeming like it needed to be shared or else. So he kissed her back, not feeling any more settled, and the soft smile he gave her after she finished speaking was slightly strained, but for Haley, he didn't try to pretend he wasn't worried. For now, hopefully she would just think it was normal worries, not gut-churning fear. |