When you were seven you decided to adopt a dog that had been wandering around the village, only within one day of having it in the house the animal had broken your mum's favourite vase, eaten an entire roast chicken and torn up all the furniture in the lounge. You were freaking out so much, you ended up calling me to come and try and sort it out for you and avoid your mum kicking the dog out. I managed to fix some of the furniture and claimed responsibility for the chicken and we never told anyone that it was really that dog.