InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Guess there's a pill for that."

friendlyjustin (friendlyjustin) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2014-10-02 13:49:00

Entry tags:

character: justin finch-fletchley, character: seamus finnigan

Oh finally
WHO: Justin and Seamus
WHEN: Thursday October 2nd
WHERE: Finnigan's
WHAT: Justin feels like an arse and tried to avoid Seamus a little, but Finnigan's has a new cook, so of course Justin will test the food.
RATING: PG
STATUS:

Justin sat at the bar and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and a tea. He couldn't really allow himself to drink anything alcoholic. Only after he had ordered did he realize that maybe he have picked a table instead so he could just sit back and work on that hat he had meant to finish ages ago.

Taking his tea, he went on the hunt for some place to relax with his food while the wireless was on. His sandwich made it's way to him and he devoured it before he picked up his knitting. It was a nice night to relax, especially since he only just go off work.

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friendlyjustin
2014-10-02 10:30 pm UTC (link)

"It is a nice change, though I never asked for a refund." Justin knew that it wasn't Seamus' fault if the food hadn't been to it's full potential.

Justin chewed on his lower lip a moment and chuckled, squeezing Seamus' hand back. "I probably said something..." He shifted on his seat and looked at Seamus. "It's not.. it's not something you said it's hard to explain. It's just how things felt when you reacted the way you did and I'm really not comfortable with any of it because I feel like an arse for reacting the way I did and.." He kept his voice soft and low so that their conversation wouldn't be overheard.

He didn't usually talk about his feelings like this, but this was Seamus and except for Hannah, Ernie and Susan, Seamus was pretty much the only one he trusted not to simply laugh at him.

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openbottle
2014-10-03 04:57 pm UTC (link)

"I know you didn't," Seamus assured him. None of his friends had, even though more than one of them had deserved it. Seamus had tried to give Dennis a refund on his dodgy salad but had had to settle for getting him a replacement (and some free garlic bread).

Seamus kept his hand over Justin's as his friend fidgeted, looking strangely uncomfortable. Slowly, it dawned on Seamus that they were thinking of the same thing. Justin had been upset by his reaction? "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I just-" It was hard to explain what he'd done. Justin bringing up something he'd said without much thought and seeming to attach significance to it had unnerved him and he'd done what he so often did - tried to pretend the problem wasn't there. "I meant what I said, about wanting to do this -" he gestured between their bodies to demonstrate "- more often." He gave what he hoped was a charming smile. Could they be good again now? "You don't have to feel like an arse. I guess I was just surprised you brought it up. I kind of assumed you wanted that too."

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friendlyjustin
2014-10-03 07:47 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, I know, I know," He said quickly. "Yeah, I want it too, it's just that," How could he possibly explain the misunderstanding. He didn't want Seamus to feel pressure into something he didn't want, but at the same times, Justin was realizing that he wanted more than cuddles and sex. He wanted cuddles, emotional intimacy and sex.

Funny enough, the emotional intimacy and the cuddles could also be provided by Ernie, without the sex. But what he wanted, was for one single person to be all that for him.

"It's just that I misunderstood what you said. And I needed time to process that and didn't really tell you that.. you know, that's what it was."

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openbottle
2014-10-04 10:40 am UTC (link)

Seamus fidgeted, pulling his hand back to trace his fingers over the lines of his phoenix tattoo in a habitual nervous tick. "What did you think I meant?" he asked, with not a little trepidation. He really wanted to gloss over it, to just settle with having cleared things up - but it was Justin. Justin who had been his friend before they'd started shagging, was his friend all the months in between when they couldn't find time.

And that friendship was more important than regular sex. So, apparently they needed to talk about this, even if it made Seamus feel both uncomfortable and as if he'd done something wrong.

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friendlyjustin
2014-10-04 08:51 pm UTC (link)

Justin chewed on his lower lip. He was definitely too proud to say anything, especially since it was his own mistake. "It doesn't really matter, does it?" he asked softly, taking a sip of his tea, as if the cup was going to shield him from Seamus' questions.

Seamus had made it clear that it was about doing this more often and not letting their lives, while the whole morning had felt like something more. And now Justin felt cornered, as if he absolutely had to explain when he didn't even know what it all meant himself.

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openbottle
2014-10-05 01:23 pm UTC (link)

Justin's words weren't particularly reassuring. "How can I tell if I don't know what it is?" he asked bluntly. He didn't mean it to sound impatient, but Seamus wasn't exactly very good at subtle.

He felt like he was definitely missing something... Something that was obviously making Justin uncomfortable and he didn't know whether he ought to press Justin to tell him, or distract him from the topic entirely. Unsurprisingly, after a brief pause he went for the latter.

"So... Queer-topia," he said with a grin. "Dean's been bugging me to put a rainbow flag up. Maybe this will appease him."

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friendlyjustin
2014-10-05 03:14 pm UTC (link)

Justin had hoped that Seamus would drop the topic and he did. He closed his eyes and released a silent breath before putting his knitting away completely. "Queer-topia is a great idea. You still should put up a flag though." He said with a little chuckle.

He wasn't much more comfortable, but it would get better. He thought it was a little bit like 5th Year, when he had tried to tell Wayne how he felt about him.

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