InsaneJournal

Log: A speech
Who: Wayne Hopkins, a group of Muggle strangers. Closed.

What: Wayne "shares."

Where: the basement of a Methodist church in London.

When: 7pm Wednesday, October 1st.

Rating: NSFW - Language



Hi everyone. Um, my name's Wayne. I'm an alcoholic.

I want to share today because I kind of changed my life this week…not like, changed, turned it around, but changed, like…

Well, I got kicked out. My mom kicked me out and now I'm living on my own, and I've moved to a place where I…I'm basically returning to my life I left when I was sixteen, and I've sort of forgotten why drinking is bad, for me?

I've been sober for about 48 hours, and I'm just racking my brain to try to remember why.

Like, there's my kid, and I barely see him, but I have him this weekend and I don't - I don't want him to see me like that, as someone he shouldn't look up to.

And there's my old friends that I'm just reconnecting with, and I don't want them to think I'm the worthless piece of shit that I think I am most of the time. But I've forgotten how to interact socially without drinking. And the other night, Sunday, I slept with someone a lot drunker than I was, and I'm not even sure it was a mistake.

I've gotta get my head right. I know I'm not thinking the clearest when I'm, you know…whatever.

I guess that's mainly why I'm here? I need to get back in the world, but I need to have a clear head and clear goals and shit. So I guess…yeah. I have the desire to stop, and I'll try to do it for my kid, and for my friends, and try to remember that it should be for me, too.

So.

Yeah, I guess that's it. Cheers.