Dennis scoffed at Seamus' words. From a detached point of view, he knew he was at least mildly attractive. After all he had left a fairly wide swathe of male-attracted me behind him at Hogwarts, and had a lot of nice sex in the years since. His problem stemmed not from the fact that he didn't think he was attractive, but that he knew he wasn't enough. He lacked something: some facet of his physical or psychological makeup was missing, and that was why Paden had left him for Tom. He didn't say any of this to Seamus of course, he just smiled sadly. "I used to, but obviously not anymore. There's something wrong with- it doesn't matter. Let's not talk about me. Me's boring." He grinned at Seamus and shook his head. "How interesting that weekends a little faux incest are the only things keeping our epic bromance blossoming into an epic romance."
"You do deserve it," Dennis said matter-of-factly. "You deserve so much sex that you can't walk properly." He nodded expansively, "In fact you deserve so much sex that you eventually have to get me to smuggle you away from your adoring public dressed as a pair of nuns on bicycles so that we may go to Nepal and live as goats." He would have continued but Seamus started tickling him, and he began giggling and flailing around like an octopus on a propeller. "Oh Godric, please stop, pleeeaaase," he begged. Once he'd caught his breath he snorted at the other man. "I like Ernie but I'm happy being friends. No need for ravishment services from him."