InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committee "

Seamus Finnigan (openbottle) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-08-27 00:14:00

Entry tags:

journal: battlescars, journal: seamus

Battlescars: Anonymous
Written a couple of hours after the pub closed on Wednesday night.

[Warded against Dean, Dominic, Dennis & Susan. Visible to other Battlescars members]

I never talk about how much my scars ~~ruined~~ changed my life. I can't go swimming in public, I can't sunbathe on holiday, I don't even tell people they're there. Not even at Battlescars.

My sex life is non-existing.

Even my best friend is disgusted by them. ~~He can't bear to touch me them.~~

I'm not proud of them. I can't keep pretending tell everyone else pretend scars are something -

I thought drinking would help.

(Post a new comment)

	Anonymous Reply nottfinished 2015-08-27 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know you, obviously, but if it's any consolation, scarring or lack thereof makes no matter to me. Not everyone thinks that way, about things that were done to you, that you can't change. I'm sorry about your friend. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Anonymous Reply openbottle 2015-08-27 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	You haven't seen it. This isn't some neat little scar I got from being brave. I've got those too and I don't care. This is my entire hip and half my thigh and I was ~~fucking running away~~ People want not to think that way, but they do. Even Justin. Even Dean. Even friends. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anonymous Reply

nottfinished
2015-08-27 11:53 pm UTC (link)

I'm sorry that you sustained an injury so severe, and that it seems to have scarred you in more ways than just the physical.

The shell of who you are doesn't mean anything though. It's the things your mind contains.

Maybe you should sit down and talk to your friends about that. As for what anyone else thinks about you superficially... fuck people. We went through a War, if you're surprised by someone with scars then you weren't paying attention.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Reply openbottle 2015-08-28 08:26 am UTC (link)
	That isn't true. I'm not just a mind, I'm a body too and mine isn't good enough. Talk to them about what? The fact they find my body disgusting and have been lying about it for years? What good would that do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Reply nottfinished 2015-08-28 03:20 pm UTC (link)
	Your body doesn't make you who you are. It sustains you and works for you; it's good enough for that. It doesn't have to be good enough for anyone else. I'd prefer living without one but Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent)

angustifolia
2015-08-31 08:50 pm UTC (link)

I was going to reply anonymously, but as I figured out what I was going to say, I decided that there probably wasn't much point.

I had to make a choice between a life of scarves and high collars to hide my scars, or finding some sort of acceptance. Somehow I managed the acceptance thing, but it didn't just happen I had to work at it. That meant talking to someone who lives for a living and even just going outside without anything to cover them. I'm not proud of the scars, but I had to find a way to live with them or I wouldn't have done anything with my life.

Maybe try talking to someone. Perhaps not your best friend, someone impartial.

Or maybe listening would appeal more. I'm sure a Battlescars meeting focussed on scars and physical injuries could be arranged. I never talk much at the meetings I attend, but I find listening cathartic. You might even find someone who inspires you.

I didn't realise I was going to write so much. Sorry about that.

(Reply to this)