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Tweak says, "Blessed are the cheesemakers"

Cho Quigley (charmingcho) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-07-26 20:14:00

Entry tags:

character: cho chang, character: finbar quigley

RP: in the dark of the night
Who: Cho & Finbar
What: Cho can't stop seeing a face.
Where: Cho's flat in Monument Alley
When: Sunday, July 26th, late at night
Rating: TBD (talk of violence)

Cho woke with a start, a scream just on the tip of her tongue, just like it had been the first time it had happened. Except this wasn't real life, she wasn't in the stands at Hogwarts; this was just a dream, replaying in her mind yet again.

It had been years since the nightmares. When the war had ended, when she'd finally moved out of her parents and into her flat on Monument, they'd become a distant bad memory. But all month they'd been back, plaguing her nights. She'd been cranky during the day from lack of sleep and had shut out anyone she feared might notice the dark circles under her eyes and her lack of appetite.

But tonight, after a low key night of drinks with Fin at the Pub, she'd missed him, and had gotten the feeling he'd noticed her distance, so she'd invited him back to her flat for the night, praying to Rowena Herself that his presence would scare the dreams away for the night. Her prayers - it seemed - had failed her, though and she when he woke to her gasping and gulping for air, she prayed again. This time for strength.

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_finbar_
2015-07-27 09:10 pm UTC (link)

The bombings in Muggle London had shocked everybody, even his family – Purebloods living in Ireland for the most part – but Finbar knew that for some, they had triggered some things that he couldn’t even begin to fathom for the sole reason that he had not experienced the most recent war the way they had. He felt for them, of course he did, sympathized with their struggles, but none of that sympathy and compassion came close to the pain he felt for Cho. She hadn’t said anything, hadn’t brought up the bombings, really, but she had been off, distant, and he hadn’t failed to see the lines of fatigue on her face, though she had fought valiantly to keep them hidden. So he had given her what she had she seemed to have needed; he’d been there when she had let him, and he had given her space when that had appeared to be what she wanted. No pressure, just him enjoying every moment he could be with him.

Gods, even he could tell how bad he had it for her, and he was pretty sure that if Lynch or any of his former team mates ever found out, he would never hear the end of it. But it didn’t matter, that wasn’t any of his concern; Cho’s distance was.

It had only been drinks, but even the few mouthfuls of snacks he had managed to lure into her, simply by getting her to mimic him, had been little victories, and he’d been thrilled when she had let him go back to her flat. For a few precious hours, he’d felt needed, like he could make a difference in her life, when she had let him hold her as she fell asleep. He’d watched her, listened as her breathing had slowed, and eventually he had fallen asleep too. It hadn’t lasted long, before Cho had jerked him awake, and he found himself with an armful of gasping Cho.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he soothed, tightening his arm around her, shushing gently as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder and then to her temple. “You’re alright. I’ve got you, love.”

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charmingcho
2015-07-27 09:21 pm UTC (link)

Cho tried to wave it off, when he'd woke, with "just a bad dream", but when he told her he had her, what little will she had against the dreams broke down again. She said in a small voice - she knew this voice as the one she'd used for far too long after Cedric's death - "since the bombings," she shook her head and shrugged, "nightmares".

She and Fin had never really talked about the War. She figured at first that he probably recognized her name from the tabloids - after Cedric and Harry, she was mentioned as a footnote sometimes - but he'd never mentioned it and so she'd lost track of what he might or might not know. But she preferred it that way, these sorts of conversations were few and very far between these days (really, Mel & Mari were the only ones she ever mentioned Cedric around anymore).

Truth was, though, she'd never had to tell anyone her story. She'd never gotten close enough to anyone who didn't already know.

But for over two weeks now, all she'd seen in her sleep is a flash and a face. She'd felt the wind whipping on her hair just like it had that night, she'd smelled his smell because she'd been wearing one of his Hufflepuff robes to support him (and because she loved his scent and loved everyone knowing that they belonged to each other). It had been over a decade ago now, but for the last days it had all felt like yesterday.

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_finbar_
2015-07-28 07:42 pm UTC (link)

Finbar shifted slightly so he could close his arms around Cho. “You’ve had nightmares since the bombings?” he asked her, wanting to make sure that he’d understood her correctly. She was trying to shrug it off, it seemed, but he wouldn’t let her. Not when it so obviously affected her, not when it made this amazing woman sound so… small, when he knew she was anything but.

He just held her for a while longer, his lips brushing gently against her lips as he kept his own breathing slow and steady, hoping to let his calm soothe Cho, too. “About the bombings?” he finally asked softly. “Are your nightmares about the bombings?” If he should have even the smallest chance of helping her here, he needed to know, although, he also hated prying.

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charmingcho
2015-07-28 09:02 pm UTC (link)

Cho cried in Fin's arms, letting him soothe her. He was so good at not pushing her. She cried until she could breathe again and then sat up a little bit when he spoke, giving them both a little bit of space but staying in his arms. She felt suddenly awkward, sobbing over all of this while lying barely dressed in the arms of another man. Another man, she thought, how ridiculous, and yet isn't that how she'd seen them all since she was a student? They weren't him.

But this was Fin. He'd come to occupy such a large space in her heart quite unexpectedly. And so, she took a gulp and, shaking her head (to indicate that, no, her nightmares weren't about the bombings, as such), tried to ask (she stumbled the first time), "You know the name Cedric Diggory." It wasn't really a question, but her accent was thick and the whole thing sounded awful to her.

"The heartbroken fans, they said, the 'sacrificed heartthrob', they called him. Some of them said I'd been going after famous young wizards for the attention..." She shook her head, her eyes meeting his as she tried to focus.

"I loved him, you see, and he was just suddenly dead. In front of me. In front of everyone but... I was there, too. And no on in the world understood," she said, bitterness seeping into her voice. "I tried, to be the girl was I before," her eyes plead for him to believe her, "everyone kept saying I was so young I would get over it. They said I just didn't understand that time would fix things. But... We'd planned to be together, after I'd finished my NEWTs. It's not all that uncommon, to marry not long out of school, you know. He wanted a big family, because we were both only children." She rambled.

She shook her head again and took a deep breath. "Fin, I keep seeing his face. There was a loud bang, and then a thud, and then he was on the ground and Harry was clutching him and his eyes were just staring and he was just right there. And he was gone. And the nightmares finally went away a couple of years ago, even if missing him didn't, and they're back, like it was yesterday." She knew she sounded insane - people had told her that for years after he was gone, she sounded crazy, and she felt bad for saying all of this to Finbar, the man in her life, and she hoped she wasn't hurting him, but she had to say it. And, honestly, if they were to be together, he needed to know her story anyway, as much as it might hurt them both.

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_finbar_
2015-07-28 10:25 pm UTC (link)

Pushing himself further up until they were both sitting rather than lying down, Fin nodded. He’d heard the name Cedric Diggory; the Diggory family was a known name in the Wizarding World, but Fin had never been close with them. But that wasn’t important. Cho was talking, rambling, her accent thick, something he knew only happened when she was agitated, and Fin listened. He let her talk, let her ramble, and reminded himself that just like him, Cho had a past.

“You and Cedric…” he said, reaching up to cup her cheek. “You would have had a wonderful life and lots of beautiful children.” That last part he knew without a doubt, because no matter who Cho had children with, they were bound to be beautiful like their mother. “I’m sorry you lost that. I’m sorry for your loss.” Gently he brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. “I didn’t know the girl you were before, but I know that there’s no way you could possibly be her after what happened.” He held her arms out to her if she needed… wanted the comfort. “What can I do to make this easier for you?”

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