InsaneJournal

Journal Entry: Tristan Travers

[Charmed, Warded, and Runed Private. Breakers Will Be Jinxed, Cursed, and Hexed.]

i dont want to do anything. just stay in bed in my room with mum down the hall and julian off wherever and nothing nothing nothing. thats all i am so why shouldn't i bet it? nothing nothing nothing.

id have killed him that stupid drunk id have killed what made him him and it would have been self defence but no one would have cared because im me and not them but id have done it not just for attacking me not just for dumping his beer on me not just for spitting on me not just for kicking me while i was literally down but for all of it and all that he had planned and all that he had planned to do to titus who showed up because i had him lurk just in case i needed an escape but i didnt and not just because one of his cronies kicked me and distracted me and i think i blacked out a little and he saved his prat friends life and mine. is that ironic? i cant even remember the definition of irony now but he probably saved my life.

i didnt do anything with the therapist just sat there and stared and didnt want to talk and she tried and tried and sighed and let me leave early. i made it to my probation worker but what does it matter? titus and fluffy made sure i made it because mums not in the right mindset and id not have made it without them. i should have sworn titus to secrecy so he cant tell orville but i just dont care. theyll make me go to work tomorrow and i just wont care.

i think i need to pretend to care but i dont want it its too much work but what will happen if i cant fake it? will they make me care? will the come cart me off to a special facility? would that be good if they did? i dont know. i dont know i dont know i dont know anymore my brains too sluggish and i just dont know.

[/Private]