InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "long and hard hours"

Seamus Finnigan (openbottle) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-04-05 11:49:00

Entry tags:

character: dean thomas, character: hermione granger, character: seamus finnigan

Battlescars: Sleeping and Nightmares
Who: Members of Battlescars
What: Battlescars meeting: sleeping and nightmares
Where: Finnigan's, The Den
When: Sunday 5th April
Rating: TBD

OOC: Right. Let's try out our first threaded Battlescars meeting. I think, at least this time, I'm going to go with the free-for-all approach. In my experience, support groups don't really suit A-B-A-B conversations, the way we'd usually do threads, so basically just jump in with your characters when you like. We can have multiple comment threads if necessary and we'll just assume they're happening at different times. If this doesn't work too well, we'll try something else next time. As added incentive - if your character posts even one comment to this thread it will count as one piece of activity for the month.

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openbottle
2015-04-05 11:11 am UTC (link)

Though it was Easter Sunday, Seamus ran Battlescars as usual. He knew that some people wouldn't be able to make it due to family obligation, but others would need it all the more for that very reason. Once everyone had signed the confidentially agreement and taken their seats, Seamus closed the doors and settled in his usual place in the circle, folding the parchment as he did so.

He followed the procedure he'd worked out over the years - reading out the rules about confidentiality and sensitivity, then scratching behind his ear before he addressed the theme of the meeting. Some things were easier for him to talk about than others, but he knew sleeping problems and nightmares were common, and thus his own slight discomfort needed to be pushed to one side. "So," he said, looking around. "Does anyone want to start?"

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artistdean
2015-04-05 08:19 pm UTC (link)

After the necessary signing and deciding where he wanted to sit Dean sat sipping his tea, composing himself. Some weeks he was happy to chat before the meeting but other weeks he could either already tell it was going to be a hard week, or he was having a bad week, or he was just tired, today was a combination of all three, and his sense it might be a hard meeting was confirmed when Seamus announced the topic.

This one was possibly either directed to him, inspired by him, or a combination of the two. He knew sleeping problems were common but his recent spate of nightmares and associated potion taking made him suspicious. He shifted slightly in his seat, staring vaguely past the rim of his mug. He had a lot to say, but wasn't quite sure where to start. Frankly a lot of the most common of his earlier nightmares were public property now, thanks to the show last year, and the latest one was so fresh it would be hard to talk about, he'd found that out when he went for a check in with his therapist.

After several seconds of nigh on deafening silence he lowered his mug, which he'd been clutching slightly, straightened a bit in his seat and raised a hand briefly in a combination of an offer and a wave to the group. "Sure. Dean here," he said, offering his name just in case there were any new members he hadn't spotted. "My PTSD comes with a range of nightmares and sleep problems. I've had them from part way through the war, they were worst in the year or so afterwards, and after that they slowed down but come up on and off. That was until recently," he said, taking a deep breath. "When my ex broke up with me it involved yelling about my mental health in public, which triggered a new one which was a delight let me tell you," he said, mouth curling in a sneer for a second before he sighed again. "Sleep hasn't been my friend without a potion since then."

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weasley_now
2015-04-07 05:19 pm UTC (link)

Hermione hadn't needed to be present to charm the parchment for quite awhile now. Still she felt an ownership of the task that drove her to be present at each meeting barring extenuating circumstances. Besides her presence allowed Seamus to focus more on greeting individuals and sharing the rules without having to focus on the parchment itself. It also allowed Seamus to start the meeting while she hung back to catch any stragglers that arrived late. Hermione honestly didn't mind helping. It showed that she was on equal footing with everyone, not worth the hero worship that some had tried to saddle the trio with that thankfully had waned quite a bit over the years.

She listened quietly as Dean spoke. She knew of his nightmares. Everyone at Shell Cottage had been aware. Each of them had baggage from Malfoy Manor that they'd had to deal with. Not that she attributed it all to the Manor as there were so many other things that happened during that time frame. Being prisoner there was only a part of the picture. In fact, for Hermione it had been the days after Ron had left that had been hardest. Not knowing whether he lived had been horrible. In fact those dreams had begun to creep back in over the past few months. Uncertainty about where they stood bringing everything up again in her subconscious.

"Does the potion help?" she asked out of curiosity. She didn't need one because she never knew when her's would appear and she didn't want to chase away the good dreams.

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artistdean
2015-04-07 10:16 pm UTC (link)

Dean had sort of been hoping people wouldn't press him too much on the contents of his dreams, but he didn't mind too much. Despite that Hermione's voice made his breath catch slightly. Her screams were definitely a feature of his nightmares from time to time, so her being the first to speak was a little bit disarming, but he flicked his gaze to her and smiled briefly, taking a deep breath before he spoke.

"Yes it does. But it's something I've been prescribed by a healer, I wouldn't just suggest people go around taking sleeping potions. The one I have both helps me get to sleep - which I have problems with sometimes - and... severely dampens my nightmares. Once in a while one will still get through but it's usually far less intense." Dean was fiddling with his mug. Usually Seamus was the one who needed something to do with his hands, but being this vulnerable, even in a relatively safe space, wasn't easy. "Honestly, most of the time I don't like taking it regularly these days, it can make me feel pretty fuzzy, but I tend to take it if I'm sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, if I've been triggered by something, if my insomnia's bad enough to need the sleep, that sort of thing, but with the new nightmare it's been suggested I take daily doses for a couple of months until the initial event is a bit less on my mind."

"The potion definitely isn't the only way to help with nightmares, but it does help me sometimes."

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weasley_now
2015-04-11 07:38 pm UTC (link)

Hermione didn't want to know the contents of anyone's dreams. She had watched Vincent Crabbe burn to death, Harry actually die, Ms. Bagshot turn into a snake, and Dobby knifed among others more times than she cared to count. The thing for her was while she hadn't necessarily seen all the deaths her mind knew the how and filled the details in for her likely in a way that was more intense then the reality.

"It's good that you're able to find some control," she interjected. "Mine don't occur often enough but when they do there is no rhyme or reason to them." Perhaps hearing from others what, why, and when could help her pin point when her's might occur.

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openbottle
2015-04-13 12:35 pm UTC (link)

When Dean mentioned taking his potion daily, Seamus had to fight back a confusing mix of emotions: panic, anger, sadness. Battlescars wasn't a place for the two of them to have a private discussion and Seamus had learned early on that when he responded directly to Dean he often fell into that trap. He was here to lead the whole group, not to focus exclusively on his own best friend. He was glad when Hermione filled in the ensuing silence, helping him to hold his tongue and move on to more general topics.

"Mine too," he said quietly. He'd never shared the exact nature of his nightmares in Battlescars, or with Dean, but he'd mentioned having them. "Sometimes, the morning after, I can put the pieces together and figure out why. If I'm worried about someone that I worried about during the war - which was basically everyone -" He gave a wry smile at that. Who hadn't been worried, and who hadn't there been cause to worry about? "That tends to bring the old nightmares back. But sometimes they just happen, out of nowhere. And even when there is a reason I'm not very good at spotting it until it's too late."

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