InsaneJournal

Journal Entry: Tristan Travers

[Charmed, Warded, and Runed Private. Breakers Will Be Jinxed, Cursed, and Hexed.]

I talk to the therapist, and she talks to me, but she wants to know why I don't talk to anyone else. "Battlescars is a stupid name," but she just waits it out because apparently that combined with a shrug isn't reason enough. She asks all the time if I talk in that group. I agreed to go, not to talk. No one wants to hear what I have to say. She only wants to hear it because she's being paid to. I would not pay someone to listne to me. Isn't that what house elves are for? But on a serious note, I would not pay for someone to listen to me. At least this is on someone else's sickle.

But she wants to know why I don't talk at that Battlescars meeting, the one I've every right to be at but that was also maybe her suggestion, too. It's obvious, isn't it? It isn't a group for people with scars from a war. Not really. That's just the facade. It's a group for those on the winning side to lament and discuss their scars. They need it. I won't deny that. I won't deny someone something they need, especially something like that. But it's for them. It's for the winners, the poorly affected, the righteous. It isn't for those who were caught on the wrong side, who were fucked over, who made mistakes.

History is written by the winners, and so are the support groups.

No one cares what the losers have to say.

No one cares to listen to some sob story, especially since, "Oh, someone used the Imperius Curse on me," was used in the First war and doesn't fly now, no matter how true it might be. No one cares if you were brainwashed, if you suffered Stockholm Syndrome, if you were coerced into things. No one cares, and I'm not stupid enough to open up around people to listen to whispers and jeers, to see disgust and hatred on their faces.

I don't talk because no one wants to hear what the convicted Death Eater has to say. It's all black and white, and if he speaks, he'll just try to throw shades of grey into it where there are none.

No one cares, and the only one who does is being paid to care, and that's all there is to.

[/Private]