InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Jay-net, are you deezent?"

Seamus Finnigan (openbottle) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-01-21 18:56:00

Entry tags:

character: dean thomas, character: seamus finnigan

A dream and a letter
Who: Seamus (and Dean?)
What: A nightmare, a letter
Where: Seamus's flat
When: 4am Wednesday
Rating: SFW

Seamus woke with a choked sob caught in his throat, his face pressed hard into the pillow. He pulled his knees up under him but heaved before he could roll himself over. "Dean!" Hot tears soaked into the pillow and Seamus couldn't tell if he'd started crying before or after he woke up. Every muscle in his body was tense, shaking, his fingers curled like a vice into the bedsheets. He heaved in breath after breath until the burning in his lungs faded and he sank back a little on his haunches. His bedroom was dark but as his eyes adjusted to the light he could see that it was empty - even Scruff was out hunting. Seamus's inhale became a whine when he spotted the empty perch. He'd stopped trembling, though he still felt coiled tight, ready to run or fight at the slightest provocation.

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, hands braced against the mattress ready to push him up into action. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. When he could think at all he thought how much he wished they were still in Spain, where he'd been able to see Dean sleeping just across the room. They'd pushed the mattresses together, in the end. Seamus could have reached out and touched him, confirmed he was real, breathing. Finally, he reached for his wand and removed the charm that kept his windows dark no matter what time of day - dawn light edged across the carpet, but it didn't make Seamus feel any better.

Finally, Scruff returned with a soft 'hoot' and Seamus scrabbled out from under the covers and grabbed the parchment and quill he kept by his bed for just such emergencies. He didn't pause to think before writing down the first either-or question he could think of - the content didn't matter, only that Dean would reply and quickly.

Guitar or drums? -S

He had to practically fling Scruff out the window to get him to go, and he knew he'd probably have to wait. Dean could well be sleeping. Dean could be at Ophelia's. There were any number of perfectly sensible, perfectly safe places that Dean might be...

Seamus started to pace.

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artistdean
2015-02-03 05:27 pm UTC (link)

"I was never going to look closely enough to see whatever infinitesimal amount of bird you think you'd left sticking out!" he protested. It wasn't like he needed to look inside to check what sort of sugar it was. He didn't move things out of their bags to prevent sugar mixing or flour mixing issues. He studied the little model and shrugged. "Yeah, especially with some of the places we've put it over the years." He remembered the original model then, lost in the nightmare of their final year, but with the pleasant nostalgia came a rush of memories of the events of that year and he shuddered and shook his head to clear them.

At first Dean rolled his eyes at Seamus exaggerated imagined consequences and then snorted at his imagined jealousy. "Dude, you're channelling Susan, well, Susan from a few months ago. I'm perfectly fine with Ernie getting his hands on you. For one I can't heal your broken leg," he said, grinning and taking another sip of his tea. Of course the other side of that was that he wasn't interested in getting his hands on Seamus, but that didn't really need saying.

"And I'm sure you can make a nice stable surface to climb on anyhow. Just don't do it in socks and it should be fine!" Of course the issue of the anti-summoning charms on the statue meant he couldn't just get it with magic. Not that he didn't worry about Seamus sometimes, but honestly he hadn't put it anywhere he considered actually dangerous in years.

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openbottle
2015-02-04 05:55 pm UTC (link)

"First," said Seamus, holding up one finger and attempting to look outraged, "I never said you'd be jealous of Ernie. I'm not that vain. Maybe I think you're looking for some Hufflepuff loving." He had to pause to hold back a snort of laughter at this last phrase, which was ridiculous even for him. "Second," he added another finger, "even if I meant that, I was thinking about pure and noble things like who gets to provide me with food and make sure I haven't forgotten what the outside world looks like. You know you'd get in a right tizzy if someone else were looking after me." Though he said this with confidence, it occurred to Seamus that maybe he was wrong - projecting his own feelings of (purely platonic) jealousy whenever someone else stepped in to take care of Dean and make Seamus superfluous.

He leaned back on the counter, swaying a little closer to Dean as he did so. "Sometimes there isn't room he complained. Dean had once stashed it over head-height in one of Hogwarts' narrower nooks and crannies. After multiple failed attempts to transfigure a stool to sit in the space, Seamus had ended up taking his broomstick down in a secret midnight rescue operation. It had been pretty fun, actually, even if he did get caught by Filch. Seamus had long held that no Gryffindor should make it through their entire Hogwarts education without at least one detention. At least his wandwork was a little better now. He frowned, his brain catching up with what Dean had said. "Hang on. Susan thought you were jealous? Of who?"

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artistdean
2015-02-05 12:46 pm UTC (link)

Dean's mouth gaped open very briefly, Seamus was right, he hadn't said Dean would be jealous of Ernie. But then Seamus said Hufflepuff loving of all things, which just made his explode from his mental surprise into a little snort of laughter. After the second point Dean said 'oh' softly and wet his lips by instinct. It took him a few seconds to process a response to that. He couldn't exactly prove Seamus wrong. Even when they were bickering he felt odd when they weren't the ones taking care of each other. "You know broken bones take about five minutes to heal, but I'm always the one stuck when you get flu, and I honestly don't know why I put up with your whiny arse," he said sarcastically. Not that he'd have it any other way. Even when it meant that Seamus had to return the favour a few days later because he never kept far enough away to stay well.

Dean just rolled his eyes at the lack of space argument. "Ladders are a thing," he said. "You can always go borrow one from my Dad, or ask Dominic if he's got one," he suggested, nudging Seamus slightly.

"What? Oh! Er, you know, the whole insistence we're in love with each other thing, so clearly I'd be jealous of Ernie touching you," he said slightly sheepishly. "I know she hasn't brought it up since the bet, but that's where my brain went to because I'm used to her chiming in." He was starting to ramble and looked around for something else to focus on and spotted the pan on the stove. "Are you going to do anything with that water?" he asked, trying to distract Seamus from the point. Not that he thought it would work for long, but it was always worth a try.

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openbottle
2015-02-06 05:40 pm UTC (link)

Seamus snorted at Dean's amusement. Sometimes Seamus himself couldn't even predict what might come out of his mouth or where his mind would jump to. Sometimes it was awkward, but with Dean it was mostly funny. "Nothing takes Ernie five minutes to heal," Seamus insisted. "He fusses!" It wasn't like Seamus minded - it was only because Ernie cared about them, after all. "Even if all I've done is fall flat on my arse and the rest of you are laughing at me, Ernie has to check I'm okay first. Then he laughs." Seamus rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling, feeling better than he had since he woke up. It was good to have people around who cared about him - even if he sometimes didn't get to see them as much as he should.

"You trust me on a ladder?" he asked incredulously, though he really wasn't that clumsy. Most of the time. Unless he was drunk, and then all bets were off. He hadn't been properly drunk in ages... maybe he should fix that. He made a mental note, hoping he didn't forget it before he could write it down.

He leaned back, shifting his shoulders against the kitchen unit behind him while Dean talked through Susan and her bizarre insistence that he and Dean were - or should be - more than friends. "She really has dropped it, hasn't she?" he murmured, since Dean mentioned it. "Now she's insisting that Justin wants us to be more which is just as mad, honestly." He glanced over at the stove, frowning. What the hell had he put water on for? He'd already made the tea... "Oh! Porridge." Had he actually thought he was going to make porridge? He didn't even have ingredients - or know how. "Maybe I'm the one that's going mad." He slithered off the counter and muttered a 'finite incantatum' to stop the water boiling and then emptied the pan with a flick of his wand.

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artistdean
2015-02-07 05:55 pm UTC (link)

He couldn't help but chuckle at Seamus' description of Ernie's fussing, which was entirely accurate. "And this is why he is a healer and I am not in a caring profession," he said.

Dean opened his mouth to protest and paused, actually thinking about the question. He looked Seamus up and down and tilted his head. "Ehh, probably. Assuming you're sober and not already injured." He grinned at Seamus cheekily and sipped his tea, now approaching a drinkable temperature.

"Yeah, I mean I'm getting used to it, but it's a bit bizarre to not have her saying anything, but it's good." He raised his eyebrows at the fact Susan had moved on to making suggestions about Seamus and Justin instead. He pushed off the counter and headed for the comfort of the sofa, letting Seamus deal with the water on his own. Clearly the porridge wasn't happening. "I thought it was just a bit of fun, you and Justin," he said being as matter-of-fact as possible. He knew about their arrangement, of course he did, but they didn't talk about it much.

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openbottle
2015-02-09 05:35 pm UTC (link)

"It is!" Seamus insisted, a note of irritation in his voice. Lately it seemed like everyone was intent on challenging his understanding of what he had with Justin. Even, uncomfortably, Justin himself, what with the inviting him to France and whatever that odd moment all those months ago had been. "But you know Susan. She wants to make everything into a big -" He gritted his teeth, looking for a word, and then gave up with a sigh - "thing." Seamus left the pot on the counter - it had only had water in it, and why tidy it away when he was going to need to use it at some point or another? "You and me, me and Justin, you and Ophelia. She's not happy unless she's involving us in some kind of chick-flick." Granted, she'd been right about Ophelia... But she was wrong about Dean and Justin.

Though he was feeling better than he had been, Seamus followed Dean to the couch and squished in next to him. "I'm starting to think I've had the wrong idea about love all along," he admitted, surprising himself with his words. It was something he'd sort of been thinking, yes, and sometimes words came out to Dean more easily than they did even in Seamus's own thoughts. "What if it's not what everyone makes it out to be?" Maybe Valentine's Day was weighing on him more than he'd expected.

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artistdean
2015-02-10 07:14 pm UTC (link)

Dean held up his hands, one complete with mug of tea, to placate Seamus. "Hey, not accusing you of anything, just checking I hadn't got it wrong," he said. Their arrangement had been a bit more regular of late, which was sort of good because when Seamus had gone a while without sex he tended to get a bit grumpy around the edges. Plus the chance of Dean walking in on him at an inappropriate moment increased and that was never exactly fun.

He shifted his mug to the opposite hand and slung an arm around Seamus' shoulders by instinct, frowning as he spoke. "Yeah?" he asked, prompting the second half of Seamus' thought. He didn't know what to say really. It wasn't like he thought he'd been in love before. Ophelia was his longest relationship to date and he wouldn't classify it as love, certainly not yet. "I, I don't know. It's not like I've got much to go on," he said.

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openbottle
2015-02-11 02:25 pm UTC (link)

Out of habit, Seamus tucked himself under the arm around his shoulders before holding out a hopeful hand for another cookie. When it came to food, they had more or less got wordless communication down pat. Unless Dean wanted to warn him about strange ingredients, though even then a lot could be accomplished with raised eyebrows. "I guess I'm just thinking aloud," he said, since he knew Dean wasn't really that much better at this than he was - Ophelia being the only recent exception to either of their long-held bachelor lifestyles.

"It's not like I'm expecting some fairy tale," he complained. "I just thought... there'd be more, and it would be easier." Of course, that had mostly been before the war really got going. He'd thought that love, like the rest of adult life, would just fall into place. He'd not done too badly on the not-work fronts - though he sometimes wondered if he was going to run this pub forever. Would the customers age along with him? Or would he one day be a doddering old wizard trying to come up with and host events for people just out of school? "I don't know. I feel like Susan sees love everywhere, and I see love nowhere, and there must be some kind of comfortable inbetween where there's at least love somewhere."

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artistdean
2015-02-11 03:53 pm UTC (link)

Dean rolled his eyes and broke off half of the cookie he was eating and handed it over. "I actually only brought two, and I've actually had breakfast," he pointed out, shoving what was remaining of his half into his mouth. He made an agreeing noise through his mouth full of cookie. His mother would be so proud of him resisting the urge to talk. Not that he really knew what to say.

"I think we all thought it would be easier. Even Ron and Hermione haven't managed to marry yet. Mind you I think we thought life would be easier once Voldemort was gone," he said quietly. "Which, sure, the whole people mostly not trying to kill us for existing is awesome, but the actual living life, enjoying life thing is a bit harder." Dean shuffled in closer to Seamus and sighed. "I know what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I have a relationship and all that, but my love life hasn't been what you'd call consistent." He was staring mostly at the ceiling, not really seeing the view that he had long since memorised in many lights.

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openbottle
2015-02-12 05:19 pm UTC (link)

Seamus tapped the half-cookie against his fingers while Dean spoke, feeling frustrated not at either of them but just at the world in general. "You've got a point," he agreed. "Ron and Hermione are sort of the closest thing we've got to an actually functioning couple." He was probably forgetting someone, but certainly it seemed like the vast majority of their friends had trouble with dating or relationships in one form or another. "And they still bicker all the time." Obviously, that worked for them, but it wasn't what Seamus thought he wanted.

He groaned slightly, thinking of Valentine's day coming up which was unlikely to make any of these feelings easier to deal with. "At least we have cookies," he announced. "They're consistent, except when you add silly things to them." He finished off the last of the cookie in his hand with a decided nod, done with the depressing topic and the snack both. "Come on, I've got accounts to do and you must have some kind of sketch or painting waiting for you."

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artistdean
2015-02-13 01:15 am UTC (link)

"I think bickering has become just a thing they do," Dean said and shrugged slightly. He was rather glad Seamus hadn't brought up Dean's own relationship as a functioning couple, because it was definitely not the description he'd currently give it. It wasn't a broom crash but it wasn't exactly what he'd call a model for function.

Dean couldn't help the snort at Seamus' comment at the 'silly things' he sometimes added to his cookies, and other baking for that matter. "They're not silly just unusual," he said. Okay, so not all of them turned out quite right, but it was fun to play around. Dean groaned at the idea of accounts, which he thankfully didn't have to do very often. "Yeah, sure. I'll go decide on which one of the holiday things I'm working on today," he said, stretching out his arms before standing up. Almost all of the art he'd been working on since they got back from Spain had been scenes he'd sketched on their holiday. There were canvases on easels all over his studio with reference sketches and photos attached to them.

"Enjoy the books,and I'll see you for work tomorrow, if not before," he said.

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openbottle
2015-02-13 06:17 pm UTC (link)

Seamus followed Dean to his feet, standing in front of him and leaning in to wrap his arms around Dean's waist. The hug was less ferocious than the one he'd greeted Dean with, but still lingered a little longer than usual. "Thanks for coming." It was about the closest Seamus ever got to acknowledging the reason behind the early-morning owls and his gratitude that Dean had somehow learned to stop in soon afterwards.

He pulled back, smiling now, and made his way to the door. Dean could apparate from here, but Seamus just needed to go downstairs to his office (which doubled as a storeroom). "Go paint me sunbathing," he suggested. "Maybe it'll rub off and warm me up."

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artistdean
2015-02-13 07:06 pm UTC (link)

Dean breathed easily as they hugged again, not feeling any need to pull away. Merlin, on his own bad days all he wanted to do was wrap himself up with Seamus and not let go. Susan would do at a push. He squeezed a little harder for a moment, thinking of his last big attack when he hadn't been able to find Seamus.

He snorted. "If I actually do that I'll a. need to drag you in to sit still some more and b. I'd need more red paint!" he joked, stuck his tongue out and apparated away laughing, bag he'd grabbed from the side of the sofa safely in hand.

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