InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Everyone say nimins."

Dean Thomas (artistdean) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-01-07 14:12:00

Entry tags:

character: dean thomas, character: susan bones, status: complete

RP: Some things are a bad idea
Who: Dean Thomas, Susan Bones
What: An ambush and a chat
Where: Susan's house
When: Wednesday evening
Rating: probably NSFW - language

After checking his goggles were secure Dean took a deep breath and upended himself in the pool, aiming for one of the diving rings he'd just thrown into the deep end. It was more challenging than diving in from the side, which he'd done a few days ago. He'd been spending more time than usual at Susan's pool. He'd half told himself that it was because he wanted to make up for the missed sessions over Christmas, but he knew that wasn't true. He'd come on New Year's Day, and had already more than made up for it. More than exhausted his body, but sadly not his mind. Stupid thoughts teeming over and over. Swimming sometimes helped with that, even diving practice, but no. He'd still not been sleeping well. He'd left a note for Susan on the chalkboard near the door they were passing messages on, to let her know he'd been, that he'd love to catch up when she was free.

He dove well, strong and holding his breath, reaching the first ring and pushing on for a second that was nearby before pushing back upwards and breaking the surface with a gasp, two rings looped over his arm. The other ring, he'd seen more clearly below the water, was a few feet away, and if he was lucky he might just manage to get the other too if he came from the right angle.

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susanamybones
2015-01-15 02:36 pm UTC (link)

"For Merlin's sake Shadow," Susan said with a chuckle. "Give the man some space, he loves you, there's no need to go into conniptions at him!"

She allowed herself to give him a smirk. "Of course it's because you're tall and thin and have been using my swimming pool, and not at all that you forget to eat." She tilted her head and surveyed him silently for a long moment. She could think of one possible relationship he could have that would probably allow the ups and downs of his libido to be understood, but she knew well enough that now was not the time to bring Seamus up. "It's hard to tell dear," she said at last. "It depends not just on you but the other person. So what's wrong? Ophelia getting frustrated with you?"

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artistdean
2015-01-15 03:14 pm UTC (link)

"Oh it's okay," he said, leaning over to scratch at Shadow more effectively. "She's just enthusias-" he stopped as Shadow licked right across his mouth. "Yeah, okay. Maybe a touch enthusiastic there," he said, drawing back again and slurping some tea to get rid of the sensation of dog lick with a quick shudder.

He rolled his eyes at her. He was eating rather better again now the show was over, and Christmas always brought far too much food in general. Plus he hadn't settled on a new painting yet so he'd not been pushing his studio hours very long. "I'm eating fine, mother," he joked, but picked his cake plate back up anyway.

He poked a few crumbs around before nodding and sighing rather massively. "Yeah. My libido was a bit on and off when we first got together, but then it was up for a while when we got to a place where we started sleeping together. It sort of trailed off again though. And I'd told her about it, but knowing and experiencing aren't quite the same." He frowned and took a bite of cake, waving his explanations with his hand. They should probably still be in a happy honeymoon period type thing where they were having sex all the time, but Dean had just lost enthusiasm.

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susanamybones
2015-01-16 03:04 pm UTC (link)

Susan threw her head back and laughed heartily at the expression on Dean's face after Shadow licked him. "That's enough now dear," she said, snapping her fingers to bring Shadow to attention. "Go and lie near the fire and leave the humans to talk."

She made a mollified noises and nodded. "Just as well, or I'd be forced to force feed you. There's something Mexican and dreadfully expensive in my kitchen, and I may still make you take some anyway." She paused and pulled a face. "By 'Mexican' and 'dreadfully expensive' I obviously mean table chocolate, by the way. Not drugs."

"Ah so you've hit that point," Susan asked quietly, feeling deeply sorry for both Dean and Ophelia. "I get why it'd be frustrating for you, but equally I can see why it'd be frustrating for her too. It'd be incredibly off putting if your boyfriend who'd been industriously shagging your brains off suddenly told you that he's 'not into it' at the moment," she said, adding little air quotes for emphasis. "I mean I know that there's nothing sinister at play and I'm sure Ophelia does too, but there's enough arse holes out there who find something on the side and tire themselves out on them." She took a long sip of tea and surveyed Dean thoughtfully. "What're you going to do?"

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artistdean
2015-01-16 04:13 pm UTC (link)

Dean snorted and then grinned. "Hey if you're going to hand me expensive chocolate I'm not going to complain!" He wasn't a chocolate addict by any stretch of the imagination, but he did like the stuff and depending on exactly what she had he could definitely make some fun things with it.

He nodded sadly, picking at the rather thin knee of his jeans. "Yeah. I mean I understand that it's frustrating for her, and I get that it probably feels like I don't find her attractive any more or something - which is definitely not true!" he said vehemently. "But yeah, from fairly regular sex to 'I'll go down on you but it's not going to do much for me, sorry' isn't the best relationship progress." He sighed and wrapped his hands around his tea, concentrating on inhaling the steam for a few seconds before continuing. "I don't think my discomfort about sleeping over it helping," he said, addressing his tea. "Or the holiday with Seamus."

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susanamybones
2015-01-17 10:50 am UTC (link)

She rolled her eyes at him and laughed. "Of course not, I can see you mentally making some sort of mole sauce with it already - which, I demand to have some of if you do make it."

"I know dear, I know," she replied in a mollifying manner, her compassion piqued at the vehemence in his voice. "It's not me you have to convince!" She choked on her tea and carefully set it down before looking at him. "Dean please, please tell me you didn't literally say to her 'I'll go down on you but it's not going to do much for me, sorry' to Ophelia because honestly, if you did I may give up on men forever and go and be a lesbian monk in Nepal." She gave him her very best quizzical look as she tilted her head and furrowed her brow. "The holiday with Seamus is causing issues? Why?" Silently Susan suddenly wondered if Ophelia was more astute in her observations then either of her thick headed friends appeared to be.

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artistdean
2015-01-17 11:39 am UTC (link)

"Yes, yes, I'll let you have some of whatever I make," he said, amused that only minutes earlier she'd been grilling him about his eating habits.

He sighed and scrubbed at his face with his free hand, sounding long-suffering. "No, I didn't actually say that. I'm not quite that much of an idiot, even if I did sort of think it one time," he said glancing over at Susan with a half covered set of eyes. "It was more a thing that happened. And I mean, I get it, if your partner gets you off then unless you're a massive twat you're going to want to reciprocate, and then it doesn't..." he trailed off with a hand wave and a massive sigh.

"I don't know how much you'd call it issues, but it probably qualifies," he said. "I've not been managing to stay at her place, or have her stay at mine much really. I always take my potion if I'm with her, but I still sort of worry about it being unfamiliar when I wake, or having a massive nightmare if I don't so it's not happened very much, and now I'm going away with Seamus for a week when we've not spent two consecutive nights together. And again, I get it, but it's making things a bit tense." Dean waited for what words of wisdom, or telling him he was an idiot Susan had and applied himself to his cake.

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susanamybones
2015-01-21 09:47 am UTC (link)

Susan gave a whooshing sigh of relief. "Good. I mean I know you're not a complete daft berk, but occasionally relationships make daft berks of us all and I needed to be sure." She gave him a sympathetic look and nodded. "Well I mean I think you're being a bit hasty with that - I've met my fair share of lads who are fine to doze off once they've got their rocks off, but for a good boy like you, yes." She paused and thought furiously for a moment. "Maybe the whole way you've been uh, coming at it - pun unintended - has been fairly good? Just reassure her that while your equipment may not be up to it, you definitely are and would be more than happy to give her some happy?"

"Oh Merlin's beard," she said with a wince. "Fairly sure Ophelia would be reading that as, 'sorry I can't sleep in the same place as you because I have issues, but I can totally spend a week sleeping in a completely unknown place with one of the main competitors for my attention," she said with a sigh. "Only, you know, in French." Privately, she felt that Ophelia had every right to be miffed, but she recognised that this wouldn't be at all helpful to mention to Dean. "Does Seamus like Ophelia," she asked instead. "Because if you'd been able to go with both of them, that may have helped. Ophelia at least. Seamus may have been royally pissed off." She trailed off and sighed. "I have like seven thousand bedrooms, you're welcome to seek assylum in one of them if you need to?"

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artistdean
2015-01-22 05:32 pm UTC (link)

Dean waved a hand in acknowledgement that he might have made similarly idiotic moves in the past but thankfully not this time. "Like I said, twats. Although I have come across that too, but it was less of an issue at the time," he said. The unintended pun made his lips twitch in amusement, but he still listened to what she had to say. "It's not always that it's not working. Sometimes I'm really not interested, I mean friction will sometimes do the job even when I'm not feeling like it, but it doesn't make me feel good, at least now how I want sex to feel," he said, swiping up some crumbs with a damp finger. "And I get that as someone without a libido that doesn't suddenly pretty much disappear for weeks or months at a time it's something we need to work on, but right now it's just bloody frustrating for everyone involved."

He sighed when he heard Susan's assessment of the situation. He had had a feeling it would turn out something like that. "Yeah, I know. I mean, I've been trying to get better about sleeping over, and it's working, but it doesn't feel natural yet. You know, takes a long time to train my brain and all that," he explained. Sometimes he wasn't sure why he was bothering, or at least wondered if was ever going to actually work. "They haven't spent a huge amount of time together but they seemed to get on okay. Plus I'm not sure I'm ready to go away with Ophelia yet, not for a week anyway." He sighed, it was the sort of conversation that seemed to include a lot of them. "I should take her on some sort of special date when we get back, shouldn't I? I mean, it's that or hide out here!" he joked. It actually wasn't a bad idea. Not that he was trying to placate Ophelia as such, it was just his comfort levels with people didn't always adjust as quickly as he'd like them to.

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susanamybones
2015-01-25 01:12 pm UTC (link)

Susan snorted and nodded. "Twats is a very apt description I think," she said sagely, before settling into the back of the sofa to listen to him intently. "Well yeah, as awful as suddenly finding out that your significant other has zero interest in you, one sided sex is just creepy. Nobody should be used like that." She reached across and patted his arm sadly. "I know it's tough, but it's not like you asked to have PTSD, handsome."

"I know it does, dear," she said, lifting her palms placatingly. "You're preaching to the choir on this one, all I'm saying that explanations aside it would be hard for Ophelia to come at it unemotionally. Once you love someone, things are very rarely clean cut and clinical." She quirked an eyebrow at him, impressed with Seamus if nothing else. "Well, I'm glad that they get on. That's really swell of Seamus." She snorted and leant forward to grab another piece of cake. "You should definitely do something nice with her. Take her for a day trip somewhere, or take her on a nice picnic, something with just the two of you. Where you just talk about one another and have a good time, yeah?"

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artistdean
2015-01-25 04:34 pm UTC (link)

Dean nodded sadly and fiddled with his plate before setting it aside and sipping his tea. "I know. I know. I'd quite like to ask not to have it, but I know that doesn't work. I'll just have to keep talking about it, see how it goes." Dean was feeling pretty dejected about the whole thing, and annoyed. At least one of his past relationships had failed due to this exact issue and it didn't make him all that hopeful for the future of this one. Not that it would stop him trying.

"I know. I mean maybe I should have talked to her about the PTSD earlier, but it's not like the words can quite convey the reality of it. And yes a lack of emotion is definitely not a problem we're having," he said. He shied away from the word love. He didn't think he was feeling that for Ophelia. Not yet. "Yeah. I mean it's not like we don't do nice things anyway, but I'll try and make it a bit special," he decided, mind whirring with the possibilities.

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susanamybones
2015-01-28 02:24 pm UTC (link)

Susan stared off in the distance for a moment, considering various possibilities. "I suppose asking to not have it would go down badly, but it would be a nice polite way for it to go," she said at last with a sigh. "I do know though, that she really likes you, handsome," she said, reaching across and patting his knee affectionately. "So I'm sure she'll come around." As long as Seamus doesn't come to his sense, of course, Susan thought with a sag of her shoulders.

"Oh Merlin, Dean! It's a serious issue, and you're allowed to take as much time as you need. I mean it can get messy if you don't bring it up in a timely manner - believe me, quite a few of my colleagues have learnt this the hard way - but I'm glad you two aren't having any emotional trouble." She tilted her head and arched an eyebrow. "Yes?"

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artistdean
2015-01-28 09:55 pm UTC (link)

"I did a lot of asking for it to go away at the beginning, but most of the time I'm better than that now, until this sort of thing gets thrown up," he said. Actually he still wished his PTSD would go away on a regular basis, but he never actually thought it would happen any more. He smiled ever so slightly. "Yeah... I... yeah," he said without any real aim to what he was saying. The words about liking her a lot too never quite made it out.

He rather thought Susan might have misunderstood what he meant. He'd meant their relationship wasn't lacking in emotions, not that they'd always been the ones he wanted. Especially not recently. Frustration was an emotion after all. He opened his mouth to say that, but decided not to bother. There was a special date or weekend maybe to plan.

"Yeah. I mean I'm thinking off the top of my head here, but I could work out a weekend full of things maybe? Some sort of interesting walking tour of London, of all the weird stuff I know from being a local, maybe some galleries, a nice meal somewhere. I mean if it weren't January I'd suggest maybe a picnic or something, but there's only so much magic can do!" he said, pausing between some ideas as they took a little while to come to him.

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susanamybones
2015-02-03 03:25 pm UTC (link)

Susan gave him a mirthless smile. She too knew how it felt to wish for something and know that it would never occur. "You deal with it well, handsome, which is more than many people can say. You should always remember that I think." She arched an eyebrow at the somewhat strained way he answered her, but decided to let the matter drop.

She nodded encouragingly at him. "That sounds lovely actually, especially the London walking tours. All the Muggle things underground are really interesting, not to mention all the secret little Wizarding things scattered around. You should definitely take her out for dinner in Soho I think? You're excellent at this stuff when you put your mind to it so I'm sure she'll adore it!" She reached over and patted his arm affectionately. "I'm glad we had this talk, dear. It's always good to discuss your feelings."

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artistdean
2015-02-03 06:25 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, well, years of practice," he said, brushing it off. It was a lot of hard work, or it could be, but dwelling on it more just wasn't something he wanted to do right now.

Dean snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, well that's more than enough of it for now thanks. So I'm just going to drink your tea and stroke your dog until we stop," he said and grinned cheekily. "Shadow!" he called, impressed that the dog waited for Susan's okay before she came rushing back over.

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