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Theodore Nott (nottfinished) wrote in finnigans_rpg,

Re: Theo & Ernie
Theo didn't take offence to the offer not being taken up, comfortable enough to know that it was just the drink rejected and not his amends, and Ernie was being so understanding the way he tended to be about Theo's strange and often unpredictable triggers up until he mentioned a lie?

Ernie's body language was telling and then he started confessing something that had Theo find his wand in his hand without him truly realising he'd made a move to slip it from his sleeve to rest in the curl of his fingers. He'd moved himself so that he was pressed against the back of the bench seat, facing Ernie as much as he could and there was nothing about his posture that wasn't defensive and he hadn't even realised he'd shifted until he moved to speak and realised that he'd done so, moving on pure animal instinct which he hated himself for doing. He forced himself to relax a little but couldn't bring himself to close the distance between them, his wand hidden but still in his hand, semi-tucked into his sleeve. He didn't want to point his wand at Ernie, but he felt vulnerable now without it, and the realisation that this meant that he now felt threatened by Ernie stung.

He felt a headache growing from between his eyes across to his left temple and he lifted his bad hand to rub at it, his dead finger trembling a little but he couldn't feel it. "What does that mean, what do you mean? What do you want?" he asked, wanting to sound calm and conversational, rational even, but coming out plaintive and as vulnerable as he felt and even a little frightened which was painful.

He didn't know what to think and who knew what Ernie was thinking. He'd been there through the night terrors and sonambulism yes but Theo had no idea what he'd said, if any of it had even made sense and if Ernie had known if anything he had said had been fabrication or flashback. How was he to know if any of Theo's neuroticism stemmed from a war they could all relate to in one way or another or a trauma that had left thick ropey scars deep in his psyche before he'd even started Hogwarts? That Theo had untriggered landmines waiting in places even he didn't think could be dangerous, waiting to take off a leg or an arm or destroy something before it had even begun? Ernie had given him a cheeky little compliment, a harmless little flirt, had ended up being honest about something that was barely a feeling and Theo had drawn his wand on him like he'd had a hand around his throat and a hand up on his thigh. All this against the pounding backdrop in his head of the way Ernie had let him have his bed with no pause, cast the right charms without being asked, taken him home, offered to get his wand, healed him, gotten up for him, hadn't touched him, hadn't touched him, hadn't touched him... Merlin, he didn't want to be like this.