Find the Horcruxes (storylines)

Hey, you! Yes, YOU. You know who you absolutely want to play? 30-year-old Aaron Turpin, a halfblooded Ravenclaw Alum (1968)! Currently he's a professional quidditch commentator for the WWN and works as a DJ for The Tube in ~secret~. He's big brother to Sam (samsonite) and Melanie (anybushytailed), husband of Elinor (copperpot), and brother-in-law of Tiberius (old_firewhisky) and Emily (emilyisafox)! He has two little girls, the rambunctious and ridiculous Emma (4yrs), and lil baby Lisa (5mos)! He also has a dog named Zebra! He is silly, funny and easy-going, and he does the cooking because he's afraid Elinor will set their house on fire! He LOVES the Chudley Cannons! He is not required to use as many exclamation points as Elinor (and I!) do, but he would look lovely if he were to be played by Josh Lucas!

CAN I TEMPT YOU WITH COOKIES? I BET I CAN.