nora is a harpie not a harpy. (notaharpy) wrote in find_the_crack, @ 2009-11-17 16:19:00 |
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Late afternoon. The Three Broomsticks. Fittingly, three friends. Even more fittingly, Miriam's third drink (because good things come in threes -- debatably). "Did you know this skirt used to by my mum's?" The girl was informing Nora beside her, tugging at the black dress she wore. Her pale cheeks were infused with a bright pink. "Not bad, right? From like... 1960. I'm my mother's size in 1960." "Not the top? Just the skirt?" Nora asked, eyebrows shooting up comically. Pressing her lips together brought the taste of rum and spices happily. "Was the top not attached?" "No, Nora," Edward deadpanned, rolling his eyes a second later because he couldn't keep a straight face for very long. "Miriam added it later, obviously. Once she realised it wouldn't do to go around in just a skirt... actually, that doesn't sound so bad." Miriam swung her head around to Nora, attempting to both simultaneously take another drink and keep from laughing. The effort not to made her voice deepen comically. "Yes. Yes, Nora. Ed wants to go around in just a skirt. Your thoughts?" "I think he wants YOU to go around in just a skirt, Mir." Nora's tolerance was higher than Miriam's, but not by that much. Still, blinking took a much longer time. "I think you should BOTH go 'round in a skirt. You can call it a KILT if you want." "Yeah! What Nora said!" was Edward's enthusiastic reply. "But I'm not going around anywhere in a skirt! Don't even think about daring me, it's not going to work." He paused. "No kilts either." Considering that she was currently leaning back in the booth and downing her drink, Miriam was not available for immediate comment. As soon as she swallowed she didn't miss a beat however, immediately piping up with: "Does Madog wear a kilt? ... Noooora? " A broad smile spread across her face. Too broad. Nora blinked again, though this time the length was exaggerated. "Ew, Miriam. Ew, are you trying to ask me if Madog MacDougal is hung?" Edward's eyes widened and he nearly choked on his beer, but luckily, he managed to keep it all in. "And that's my cue to leave," he said quickly, standing up. Of course they wanted to talk about MacDougal in that way. It was just his luck. "I'll be back with more once you've stopped discussing..." He wrinkled his nose and waved a hand vaguely around before practically running from the table. Blushing furiously clearly wasn't response enough, as Miriam burst out laughing (or at least shouted "HA") before covering her mouth. "He'd have to fly... like... side saddle..." At which point the Auror's flight from the table was noted, and her face dropped as her voice rose. "ED. NO. COME BACK." Upon hearing his name, Edward turned around slowly, looking at Miriam with a confused expression. "Why? I need another drink and I'd rather not imagine Madog MacDougal and Madog Junior. I'm not leaving forever." "I promise not to talk about how long and thick he is. PROMISE, ED," Nora objected to his leaving. Of course, it didn't dawn on her that she'd just talked about it. "Oh, okay," Miriam replied, immediately content as Edward turned to give his response. Ignoring Nora (somehow, and completely unwittingly of course), she then lifted her hand as if asking to be called on, perking her eyebrows at Ed. "Oh! Can you get me another one too?" "Get us two," Nora instructed him, holding up four fingers. "I mean two a piece. Two for me. Two for Mir. Two for you." At that, she held up her entire hand's worth of fingers and then one on her other hand. "So... six." "Having trouble counting?" Edward teased, grinning at the girls. "Six it is." Even though they hardly needed that much, especially at the rate the girls were going, but who cared? "Be back in a bit, then." Miriam instantly turned to face Nora again, voice dropping to a whisper (which, for a drunken Miriam, was rather like a normal person's normal volume). "You shagged Madog MacDougal? Nora! ... you... strumpet!" Nora gaped in return. "NO! I never TOUCHED him! Changing rooms, and HE HAS NO SHAME! Gross, Miriam. OH MY GOD, what the bloody hell do you take me for?" Miriam's horror mingled with outright delight as she laughed again, once more covering her mouth. On the plus side, this helped muffle her words. "You change in the same room?! " Then, in an embarrassed voice riddled with the sound of her grin, "... is he seriously like... uh. ... that?" "NO! But I've had to go into the Magpies changing rooms with Ned a few times." Nora's smirk was bordering back into the amused territory. "And he's 6'3" and really, really broad, Miriam. And very proportional. I mean, just -- seriously, close your eyes, conjure up an image of him with clothes, and then just... take them off. That's probably about right." "Reeeeally..." Miriam only just managed to suppress the impulse to close her eyes as directed. Her broad grin became concentrated into something impish, right before she gave Nora a -- perhaps too jarring -- elbow to the side. "Gawain Robards is tall." "Er - " Nora wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, and her alcohol-soaked mind was slow to catch up. That and the elbow in the side sent her jerking to the side automatically, her hand reaching for her eye, despite Miriam's elbow being nowhere NEAR her face. "Well, yeah. He's tall... And fit. And -- er - you know, he's actually really thoughtful in bed. I was sort of surprised because -- every bloke I've ever been out with our age is pretty much out for his own orgasm." And suddenly Miriam was wholly attentive (she always did brag -- mostly when she had been drinking -- that alcohol made her really able to focus on things), resting her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. She nodded. "Yeah... I could see him being, like... you know. Yes. That." Her mouth twisted to the side. "So you're... gonna keep going with it?" Okay, where was Edward with the booze? She couldn't have this conversation with Miriam and not be drunk. She was looking at Nora at little too intently for her tastes. A blush blossomed on her cheeks. "Pretty sure I had my first orgasm, Miriam. Like honest-to-God-holy-shite-what-just-happe Miriam blinked, grin once again revived to peak form. She covered her mouth automatically, but didn't bark any more laughter this time. In fact she simple spoke, and when she did it was preceded by a heavy, overly-dramatic sigh. "... I miss orgasms." "What." Hearing 'orgasm' from either one of the girls -- but especially Nora, given what Edward knew, and thinking about Miriam in that way wasn't horrifying at all -- had shocked Edward so much that he lost his concentration. Glass shattered on the floor of the Three Broomsticks as two of the drinks Edward was levitating over fell, the spell broken. "Fuck." Luckily, the other four arrived safely, thanks to Madame Rosmerta handling those herself. "Two more of those," he grumbled, and then he turned back to Nora and Miriam. "Should I go away again?" It was just as well that the glasses had broken, because if they hadn't, the sheer volume Miriam's ensuing laughter might have completely shattered them anyway. A valiant attempt to stifle herself was made by dropping her head against the table and into the crook of one arm, shoulders shaking. "No, no!" Nora insisted, gesturing emphatically toward Edward's former seat. "Come. Sit. Miriam misses orgasms, and I appear to have had my first." She'd clearly forgotten that Edward had no idea who she was shagging. "It's your turn to talk about orgasms. Do you miss them, Eddie? Miriam could help you out there!" And then she broke down in a fit of giggles. "I don't want to hear about you and --" Edward clamped his mouth shut -- wisely, he thought -- before he actually managed to get the name out, remembering at the last second that he'd promised Miriam that he wouldn't tell Nora. A second later, his own cheeks were aflame and Edward was sure he was going to die of embarrassment. "There is no good answer to that," he muttered, pressing his face into his hands and shaking his head. "If I say no, you'll ask questions," and he didn't want things to get weird with Miriam after they'd gone on 'dates', "and if I say yes, then you'll keep laughing." "NORA!" Miriam had straightened (though apparently her hair hadn't gotten the memo, and she had to shake her head again to quickly sort it out of her face), her laughter abandoned for complete and utter embarrassment. Well. There was no looking at Ed in the eye now. "I didn't say orgasms..." she told him without actually turning in his direction. "I said shore chasms. Caves by the sea, shore chasms. I toured them in my... youth." And then she started laughing again, silently this time. "I still think he should talk about orgasms," Nora answered petulantly, turning a Look at Edward. It wasn't only fair. "If I had to talk about Madog MacDougal's penis, the LEAST Ed can do is share an orgasm story." Embarrassing as the subject was, Edward couldn't help but laugh at 'shore chasms.' "Right, shore chasms, silly me. I'd be happy to talk about shore chasms all night, but no orgasm stories, the end." He gave Nora a very similar Look in return. "No one made you talk about MacDougal. Besides, I didn't hear Miriam share a story." "She did! ... I did! The shore chasms," Miriam insisted (after she'd stolen one of the drinks for herself and taken the first sip). Besides, even through the fog of alcohol, she was fairly positive no one at the table would want to hear her stories on the subject, or the boy they concerned -- least of all her. "Besides, I want to hear more about Nora's Auror. ... Nora's Auror. Noror." "My Auror -- MIRIAM!" Nora still had enough presence of mind to know that Edward was not supposed to know about him! Turning her head to her friend mouthing you weren't supposed to mention it!, Nora simply widened her eyes and stared. "Edward doesn't want to hear about that! Right, Ed?" "Oh for fuck's sake, not again," Edward moaned, covering his face with his hands all over again. No, he definitely didn't want to hear about that. "It's bad enough just knowing that it happened at all, I don't want to know details! I have to work with him!" ... Oops. He glanced up, wrinkling his nose. "I mean... so who are we talking about? Shacklebolt? Moody?" "Gawain Robards," Miriam supplied helpfully, taking her glass away from her mouth for half an second in order to do so. A moment later she was looking at Nora, furrowing her brow. "... what're you saying?" Nora's mouth dropped open, and if she hadn't been drinking, she would have thrown a fit and left the Three Broomsticks. Left them to STEW in their TELLING OF HER SECRETS. "YOU! MIRIAM STROUT! YOU ARE IN SUCH TROUBLE! You told him??" While a moment ago she had been blushing, now Miriam's face drained of colour. With widened eyes she looked at Nora, shaking her head. "I didn't!" Though she just had. "I... he... you were... I thought you... Ed just sorta... you were the one who told Ed that the whole Madog thing was a joke without telling me so I had to lie like an idiot! I thought you'd told him!" "Would it help if we pretended my squad leader told me?" Edward asked in a hopeful-sounding voice. He really didn't want the girls to rip each other's hair out. He'd been having fun up until... well, Madog MacDougal's penis. "Or if we, you know, just pretended that this conversation never happened." "I told him after he told Gawain that he thought I was LOVE POTIONED by Madog! I sort of thought I had to tell him!" Nora pushed her lips to the corner of her mouth at the mention of love potions. Out of nowhere, at least for everyone not currently in Nora Alderton's brain, she said, "What do you think it means if your love potion smells like nothing at all?" "You're never going to fall in love?" Miriam offered. The rapid change in subject had thrown her for a loop, and, unsure of what else to add (and fearful that anything she did add would only get Nora's hackles up again), she went back to drinking. Nora frowned at that. "Well, that's fucked." The new subject had surprised Edward too, but it was much better than talking about Gawain Robards or Madog MacDougal, so he played along. "Or maybe he doesn't smell like anything? Your true love and all that rubbish?" No, that wasn't quite right. Edward squinted as he tried to remember exactly what the strongest love potion was meant to smell like. "No wait! Maybe you don't know what it is you're most attracted to." He paused, frowning. "Which is also fucked." Miriam piped up, feeling the sudden urge to be helpful. "Maybe you're attracted to potion makers. Or maybe you've got a cold? Are you sick?" Nora rolled her eyes, grabbed a drink, and took a large gulp from it. "This was weeks ago - when I got all those weird gifts in the post. Gawain checked them out for me, but I just smelled the Three Broomsticks - which isn't nearly as weird as it sounds! We were at the Three Broomsticks. Well that sucks. I think I'd rather go back to talking about sex, please." "Maybe it smells like..." Edward sniffed the air. "Stale alcohol? Smoke? Wood?" He had no idea why she'd smell that, but love probably wasn't very logical. He didn't have any experience with it to know one way or the other. "No idea why you'd want to smell that. Stale beer is disgusting." Miriam brushed her hair behind her ears (the tips of which had turned rather pink over the course of her drinking) and sniffed once before taking another sip. Very solemnly she looked towards Edward. "Ed, it doesn't matter if a man smells like stale beer if a Nora loves him." "You ever wonder what a love potion would smell like to you?" Nora asked, swirling her glass and watching the liquid churn inside it. "I always thought mine would smell like fresh mowed grass and Quaffle leather and broom twigs." Edward actually found the idea of a man smelling like a pub more disgusting than a pub smelling like that, but he kept that to himself. Hey, if Nora wanted to fall in love with someone like that... that was her choice. After a long sip, he shook his head. "Not really, no. 'Cause then I'd be tempted to go around smelling girls and being all... nah, not you, you don't smell like my love potion. And maybe yours isn't that 'cause you don't love Quidditch players like that? Just a thought." Miriam was sinking in her seat, staring absently at the far wall ahead of them. Focusing really. She knew what a love potion would smell like to her, and it was making her stomach twist up in knots. After her tentative balancing of her drink on her chest failed (happily the glass teetered but didn't outright fall), she quickly righted the glass and went back to sipping it properly. "Love potions are sort of rubbish anyway... they're not real, so it doesn't really matter what they smell like, so who cares." Then, because that sounded too negative... "Anyway, let's play a game!" Nora was more than happy to jump off this conversation train, and onto something fun. Like a game. Downing her drink, she leaned her elbow on the table, propping her head up with the heel of her hand. "A game? I'm on board. Where do I sign up? Wait -- what are we playing?" "I'm with her," Edward said, nodding his head at Nora before following suit and downing what was left in his glass. "What are we playing?" Considering that she hadn't actually thought that far ahead, initially Miriam could only blink. She looked between the other too (briefly at Ed -- and her recent embarrassment still made her cheeks burn as she did so) before stammering out a response. "Uh. ... oh! Oh, okay. We each have to say something we've never done, and if any of us have done it, they take a drink. SO." She looked upwards thoughtfully. "I... have.... never ridden a rollercoaster." Nora ground out a sigh and took a pull from her drink. "Unfair." "Bollocks." Edward took a drink, wondering if this game was actually a good idea. "All right, I've got one. I've never..." He glanced at Nora, a smirk on his face as he tried not to laugh. "Never slept with someone old enough to be my parent." With her eyes pointedly looking away from Nora, Miriam lowered her drink (and even shut her mouth tightly, as if opening it was to risk taking a sip accidentally). In the haze of drink, Nora grit her teeth, raised her glass, and took a deep pull from it. It was almost exaggerated, as if she had no intentions on stopping from having sex with someone old enough to be her parent. That done, Nora smirked, narrowing her eyes at Edward. "I've never slept with anyone who looks like my mother." Well, that was great. Now Miriam would probably never snog him, let alone go on another date with him. "Thanks very much, Nora," he said coldly while lifting his glass to take a drink. He deserved it, though, and he knew it. Drinking games, it turned out, were much less fun when one wasn't drinking. And not only was Miriam not drinking, but she was furrowing her brow and frowning thoughtfully at Edward. "... wait, what? You... what did you do?" Oops. Maybe she'd gone a little too far with that one? Nora gave Miriam an elbow. "I just tease him because he likes girls with dark hair and dark eyes, like his mum." "I'll have you know my mum is very p -- I don't only like -- I don't like them because --" Edward sputtered for a second before realising that it would be better to just shut up and not talk. He was blushing furiously by then, which was nearly as embarrassing as what Nora had said, so he just stared into his drink instead. "Like his..." A blush was prickling at her cheeks again. Miriam was staring at Nora now, drink frozen in mid-raise. "... I have dark hair and dark eyes." Nora winced at that. She hadn't quite thought it through when she'd made that "Never Have I Ever" statement. In fact, she'd simply thought it was time to get him back, and it was the first thing that came to mind. Never mind that had she not been drunk, she likely would have stormed out at all the constant teasing about Gawain. "Well, yeah..." SHIT. "Yeah, and, well, they're really nice, but I don't like you because I think you look like my mother. You don't" he insisted, even though they did have the same colour eyes and hair. He didn't want them to dwell on it anymore, so he continued, saying lamely, "I've never... owned a cat?" Miriam took the most miniscule of sips. The conversation was taking far too many twists for her to adequately follow it -- or maybe it was just becoming a shade too personal. After setting her drink down she began to shift out of the booth, half crawling over Nora in order t do so. "I have to pee, I'll be back..." As soon as Miriam had disappeared, Nora smacked her hands to her face. "Shit, Ed, I'm so sorry! I didn't even think before I said that -- do you want me to go talk to her?" "What would you say?" Edward asked, looking at her with a wary expression, like he thought she'd say something else that would embarrass him. "Just part of the game, Nora." He shrugged. "I deserved it." "I don't know! Why don't you go say something to her. Without me around. Actually, when she comes back, I'll just go to the loo," Nora said, waving a hand around dramatically in the air. Her eyes were beginning to go a little cross-eyed, as they were wont to do when she was slightly upset about something. "What the hell would I say?" Women. They'd drive him completely mad one day. "It's fine. So I apparently have a type. So what?" "Ugh, if you hadn't started in with the whole shagging Gawain thing, I wouldn't have felt compelled to out your secret, you know," Nora complained half-heartedly, dejectedly staring into her near-empty glass. It was getting harder and harder to stay upbeat after the events of the last few days. What she needed was to get out on the bloody pitch and fly this nervous, anxious energy off. "Oh, because it's my fault you decided to say I like women who look like my mum when Miriam's here and just so happens to have the same colour eyes and hair. Yeah, that's all my fault, definitely." He wanted to say that if she hadn't shagged Gawain, then he wouldn't have brought it up, so it was still her fault, but he decided it would be best not to. "Here's to never going out with her again, yeah?" he sighed. "Have you even asked her out again?" Nora asked, now glaring at him. Some nerve to say that her mentioning his preference for brunettes with dark eyes was the reason he wouldn't go out with Miriam again. "No? Who's fault is that? Is that mine, too?" "Well..." Edward wrinkled his nose. That was a fair point. "It's still not my fault what you said, but no, because I think I'm just a friend or something. And I've been busy," which was his excuse for everything, but it was true. Eyebrows shooting up, Nora pursed her lips. It was right on the tip of her tongue that everyone kept putting things off until tomorrow, when John Dawlish and Minister Rump didn't have any more tomorrows, and the rest of them could be next! For all they knew, the Three Broomsticks could be -- Oh dear Merlin, Nora's imagination was getting the best of her. "I'm... going to the loo. I'll send Miriam out, because I know she's just hiding in there by now." She wasn't, however. She, Miriam, was wandering back to the table, scrubbing her damp hands on her front as discretely as possible (translation: not very), and wondering how best to phrase her excuse to leave. Stopping short of where Edward and Nora sat, she raised her eyebrows. "I.... think I'm going to go home. ... I can finish my drink first," she added swiftly, reaching forward to reclaim her glass and do just that. "What?" Like Miriam had before, Edward looked somewhat horrified over the thought of her leaving. Great, so he'd driven her to leave. That was just the icing on the cake. "Already? Why?" That was Nora's cue. She made a hasty exit from the table and hurried in the direction of the bathrooms. "Loo. Be back." There. Miriam couldn't leave until she'd gotten back, at the least. After watching Nora leave, Miriam swung her gaze back around to Edward. The sound of his voice when he asked why she was leaving made her stammer for a moment or two. "Oh, no... nothing, just..." Another swallow from her mug. "It's been a long day, I guess. Week. Year." Edward watched her carefully, lips pressed together tightly. It had been a long day and a long week, but he wasn't in the mood to mope around about how terrible everything was. He probably would now, though. "Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Sorry about... earlier." "Why? What?" Miriam frowned. She was momentarily distracted, apologising quickly to the barmaid who was trying to get past her, before once more taking a seat beside Edward at the table. Both hands clasped her mug. "It's not you, it's more... well. I'm sorry about... Nora." 'It's not you' always seemed to be one of those things people said when they weren't interested but were trying to be nice, so it didn't do much to change Edward's sudden mood. "Me too." It wasn't all her fault, but that didn't change the fact that the entire reason he hadn't wanted to share any stories was sitting at the table again. "So now what?" "Now what... what?" Miriam was acutely aware of the fact that she seemingly could not stop asking questions (or indeed string together complete sentences), and it didn't help that the tone of Edward's voice put her automatically on edge. Being drunk probably didn't help. "Do... you... still want to see a movie this weekend?" "Yeah," he answered automatically, barely noticing that his cheeks were still tinged pink. "Yeah, I do, I just..." He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck, nose crinkling up again. "Didn't know if you'd want to." Because I look like your mum? Miriam pressed her lips together tightly, paranoid for a moment or two that she'd actually spoken her thoughts aloud. "No, uh... a movie would be good. I never get out to do that sort of stuff. Muggle stuff. It'd be fun." "Yeah, same here." November was probably going to run him ragged, so if he had a break, Edward knew he should use it for something distracting. Smiling, he looked over at Miriam. This, talking about going out with her again, was cheering him up a bit. "Saturday or Sunday? I'm not sure what's out, but... we can look into it and decide later?" Miriam took a moment to steal another sip before setting her drink down. By the time she'd swallowed she was smiling, however tentatively. "Good! We could do it Saturday?" And as if Nora was actually there, laughing at her, she swiftly corrected herself. "A movie, we could go to the movie Saturday? Afternoon or evening, it's fine. And I'll see anything." "Saturday afternoon?" he suggested, still feeling a bit more hopeful each second. "So... we could still do something after? Like get a drink... or food." There, Nora, he thought, does that count? "Yeah, let's do that," she agreed with another nod. By this point it was just good to hear him sound more upbeat, and anything that encouraged it was something she was on board with. Miriam smiled again, pleased that her lapse into mopeyness hadn't ruined their fun. "My landlady gets the paper, I can check in there. It's a deal, Watkins." A final nod, perhaps a bit overboard in the headbob department, and she was offering her hand to him for a shake. "A deal?" That and the handshake seemed, yet again, more friend-like than he wanted, but it was still better than nothing. He extended his hand and shook hers, laughing. "Yeah, all right, it's a deal." When he let go, he suddenly remembered that there was supposed to be someone else sitting at their table. "Hey, where's Nora? Maybe you should go check on her, make sure she hasn't fallen in." Miriam blinked, glancing in the direction of the loo. Taking her hand back in order to brush her hair back behind her ear again, she got back to her feet. "I'll be right back," she assured, sending Edward a final smile before half-jogging towards the direction Nora had disappeared in. ... only to reappear around the same corner in less than two minutes, her face drained of colour as she rushed back to the table (and on her way there she managed to bump into no less than two other tables, whose occupants muttered irritation over splashes of spilt ale). "Ed! Did Nora come by here?" While Miriam was gone, Edward had taken the time to finish the remainder of his drink and start on another. The room was pleasantly fuzzy by then, not as stifling as it had felt a few minutes earlier. "Uh, no?" At least, he hadn't seen her come by. "Why?" "I can't find -- she's not in there!" Miriam was gesturing in the vague direction of the bathrooms. "Did she say she was leaving before?" Because suddenly it was very difficult to remember, and the combination of her increasing panic and her drinking was not exactly helping. "No." Goddammit Nora. Edward stood up and reached out for Miriam, putting his hands on her shoulders to help steady her. "We'll find her," he insisted, already jumping into Auror-mode despite how much he'd had to drink. "You look here and I'll look outside and come back in a few minutes, she can't have gotten very far." And when he did find her... well, it wasn't going to be pleasant. She should know better than to just wander off! Miriam nodded rapidly, eyes wide, mouth insistantly tugging into a frown. Nora's absence wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the events of the past week -- or that they were just at a funeral. "Okay," she agreed swiftly, already turning to look about the pub once again. She felt rather wobbly on her feet. As Edward turned to check outside, he could probably hear her voice (loud as it was) asking nearby tablea. "Have you seen my friend? She has brown hair, she looks like a chipmunk? She's cute? My friend, did you see her come by?" When a quick look around the block had turned up no sign of Nora, Edward hurried back to the pub, grumbling to himself, his expression dark. "I'm going to ki--" ... Probably not the best thing to say in a public place. "I was really looking forward to finishing our game, too," he told Miriam once he found her. "She might've gone home. Let's try there next." He took her hand and guided her towards the fireplace. "Nora's going to be in big trouble." |