IN GRAVE DANGER! Merton Graves, cellist for the Weird Sisters, narrowly avoided a dangerous situation on Saturday. For several months, Grave has been the victim of a stalker. Annabel "Annie" Rivers dedicated a vast majority of her time to the pursuit of Graves. The young woman even went so far as to legally change her name to Annie Graves. While we can appreciate anyone adoring this sexy cellist there is always a limit to how far fans should go to gain the attention of their idol. Perhaps Miss Graves thought she could be the next Beatrice Tremlett, but obviously she's not Beatrice.
This Saturday the situation came to a boiling point. While waiting outside 54 Diagon Alley to see the singer, Miss Rivers was confronted by Veronica Montgomery. With no warning, Miss Montgomery punched the fan across the face. A large fight followed, broken up by DMLE employee Amanda Brocklehurst.
If it weren't for Miss Montgomery's intervention it is almost certain that Mr. Graves would have met a nasty fate. Upon her detainment, Miss Rivers was found to have three potions in her bag, each a very powerful love potion. After speaking with the DMLE, Miss Rivers admitted she had planned on following Mr. Graves once he left the building and drugging him with three doses of the potion. The DMLE reports that such a dose would have cause irreversible harm to Mr. Graves.
Whether she knows it or not, Miss Montgomery likely saved a rock star from an untimely demise. (Cont'd on Page 29)
EYES ON DIAGON The Price is being kept by the Princess. Ever since his injury, Mr. Ronald Parkison has been locked away in his flat. And who should hold the key? Why the Ice Princess herself, Mrs. Pansy Parkinson. Mr. Parksinon isn't allowed to visit his family home any longer and his wife reportedly has a list of approved visitors. Well, we know who wears the proverbial pants in that marriage. Perhaps Mr. Parkinson would have been happier if he'd remained with his first love, Hermione Granger. Miss Granger continues her courtship with Myron Wagtail. These two shared a sweet treat last week at the best bakery in Knockturn. We hope that the upcoming tour doesn't ruin this budding romance. But there's a chance there won't even be a tour! Weird Sisters are rumored to be bickering constantly these days. The source of the arguments? A very pretty nanny. Naughty! And speaking of naughty, the powers that be at 54 Diagon Alley had to alert all their residents to behave better at their rooftop pool. It seems as though Kirley Duke's girlfriend, Melinda Bobbin, was having a little fun of her own with our favorite harlot, Ronnie Montgomery. Shocking! We wish that was the last of the Weird Sisters gossip to share with you, but these boys (and girls) like to get up to trouble! One of them, however, is in extra trouble. Myron Wagtail, currently wooing Hermione Granger, is also sleeping with his ex-girlfriend Dani Noir. And we're told that she's pregnant with his child! We assume that Mr. Percy Weasley isn't going to be happy about this.
It's not all scandal however, folks. We have some happy news to share with you! George Weasley and Verity Scott are engaged. They shared the news with their friends this past Saturday. Congrats to the happy couple! And, finally, speaking of happy couples, a little mouse tells us that Draco Malfoy is in love with a certain unspeakable. Shhhhh!
THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE Perhaps the most amazing news from Quidditch this season is the stellar performance of the Ballycastle Bats! With the best record in the league, the Bats have been leading for the entire season and it doesn't appear this will be changing any time soon. And while Quidditch is generally a team effort, it's not a secret on the pitch that the real star behind the Bats this season has been Finley MacAllister.
MacAllister is a starting Chaster for the Bats, but considering his performance this season it's hardly a wonder that rumors of MacAllister being appointed Captain next season are swirling. Some even suggest that the current Captain, Augustus Alcott, will be replaced mid season and MacAllister will step forward as Captain.
With a baby on the way, this couldn't come at a better time for MacAllister. Oh, did we forget to mention? MacAllister is having a baby with Alicia Spinnet. We're told they met when Miss Spinnet offered her "services" to the impressive Quidditch star, but that they fell in love. Sounds a little suspicious to us, but if Miss Spinnet's skills are helping MacAllister play this well then who are we to judge?
(Cont'd on Page 17)
A DEMAND FOR EQUALITY? A letter signed by thirty-three werewolves will be submitted to the Ministry of Magic on Monday. Witch Weekly was sent a copy of the letter by Miss Daphne Greengrass. The letter outlines the current laws put in place for werewolves and addresses the issues werewolves face as a result of these laws. We have to commend Miss Greengrass for putting herself in front of the Ministry in such a way even if it does seem a little pointless. The Ministry has made some impressive changes over the last two years, but magical creature reform seems a bit far fetched.
A expert of the letter reads: Werewolves are subjected to a half life as a result of the Ministry's interference in our lives. While we have not proven to be any more or less deadly than wizards, we are immediately treated as predators. Werewolves do not choose to become monsters any more than wizards to. And, yet, the Ministry demands that we lock ourselves away to protect witches and wizards. In doing so we are being told that our lives hold less value than those of other witches and wizards. This message from the Ministry trickles down throughout society. Werewolves are unlikely to be employed, are mocked and mistreated, and at times they are shunned from society completely. In order to meet the requirements set forth by the Ministry, a werewolf often lives in poverty. The Ministry MUST change the laws surrounding the treatment of werewolves if they want to continue the claim that they support inclusion and equality.
The Minister of Magic has stated in the past that he is open to reform of magical creature laws, but that reform would need the support of the Wizengamot. (Cont'd on Page 27)
KEEPING IT IN THE TEAM Some people don't like to mix work and pleasure. That isn't the case for the Kestral's Captain, Barry Ryan. Instead, Mr. Ryan is slowly converting his entire team to his lifestyle. As one of the only openly gay Quidditch players, Mr. Ryan must be lacking in male companionship. What better way to have more "friends" than convince them to switch teams?
We're told that Mr. Ryan has already gotten a Beater and a Chaser to join him for rather lengthy showers in the locker room. And rumor has it that when recruiting new players for the team, Mr. Ryan is always keeping an eye out for pretty men. (Cont'd on Page 12)