Cho Changed: One Witch's Heartbreak Turns to a Life of Crime Cho Chang has not had an easy life. Her first love was brutally murdered by You Know Who and she was famously rejected by The Boy Who Lived. Well, it seems that all of Miss Chang's romantic troubles have lead her to a life of devious acts. Miss Chang is the top suspect in a string of cons involving widowed wizards throughout England and the rest of Europe. Though this hasn't been confirmed by the Ministry, sources tell us she has taken no fewer than five wizards for all of their worth.
Miss Change meets these men through various social functions and builds a relationship based on their shared pain. Then, once the men have given their trust, Miss Chang robs them of whatever she pleases. Each victim has given a different description of the witch, leading the DMLE to believe the witch is using Polyjuice Potion to maintain multiple identities. While it certainly isn't the way to resolve one's issues, it does make for some sensational reading.
Witch Weekly obtained an interview of one of the victims. Charles Genova of Cardiff gave his account to our reporter last week. "It was like she was the answer to my prayers," Mr. Genova told Witch Weekly. "Christina was young, gorgeous and kind. She made me laugh again for the first time since my wife died. I thought I'd met someone I was going to share my life with, but then I received a note from Gringotts that my vault was empty and my mortgage payment couldn't be made. I am likely going to lose my home because of that bitch." (Cont'd on page 7)
Eyes on Diagon NAUGHTY: Ministry Official from the DMLE getting a little happy with his masseuse at 54 Diagon Alley. SCANDAL: Deviant Rockstar beds six women in one night. SWEET: Single Dad Businessman gets cozy with former schoolmate. CLICHE: Fallen heir falling for pureblood princess. DENIAL: Seers dine together, look very much in love.
Shimmer: The Latest Party Potion Has Readers Sparkling Young wizards and witches have been known to dabble with mood altering potions for centuries. While not entirely illegal, the Ministry does, of course, frown on them. Well, the newest potion to take the magical world by storm is Shimmer. And, oh, will you love it.
Shimmer gives any person who takes a feeling of euphoria, zero inhibitions, heightened sex drive, and an over all feeling of sparkling. People who have taken the potion tell us that it gives them the best night of their lives with no nasty side effects the following morning. Currently sold for 5 Galleons for two doses, this potion is said to only be available from two well known suppliers in Diagon Alley.
Rumor has it that several witches and wizards on the magical social scene are frequent users of the potions. (Cont'd on page 13)
THE FACE OF VICTORY It's time again, dear readers, for the our annual Quidditch Bachelor Awards! While faced with so many incredibly handsome men this year, our esteemed panel has narrowed the finalists down to Oliver Wood of Puddlemere United and Finley MacAllister of the Ballycastle Bats. These two wizards certainly know how to get witches and wizards excited and we just love seeing them get all hot and sweaty.
Puddlemere and Ballycastle and ranked at the top of the Quidditch stats for the upcoming season, but we all know the most important contest will be decided by our loyal readers!