EYES ON DIAGON Editor's Note: Due to a high demand for more of the latest Diagon Alley gossip, this column has been expanded. We hope you all enjoy.
Love is certainly in the air in Diagon Alley. We are seeing old flames spark once more, new love blossom and flirtations dance along the cobblestones. Some of these connections are hardly surprising, but others blow us away! Perhaps the most surprising is the flirtation between a certain buttoned up Weasley and the firecracker bookselling ginger. A mutual love of books is evolving into a mutual love of each other, from what we hear. I guess some Healers are easier to get over than originally thought? Of course, some Healers are falling more and more in love with the wilder version of their Hogwarts romance. We'd love for that Weasley to tame us too, if you get our drift. Sadly, not all the men in our most dramatic family are having the same luck. We've heard the heir to the ginger throne is crying into his pints every night. How sad. There are plenty of witches around who would jump at the chance to cheer a handsome wizard up. Though, some witches are turning to each other when wizards won't do it for them any longer. A certain hitwizard and a werewolf have been awfully close the last few weeks. Perhaps it's because they've both been put on the back cauldron by the wizards they had their eyes on? After all, it seems like you have to be quite exceptional to snag the attention of any wizard these days. Or maybe you simply need to come back around. We all know that a first love is hard to resist and that a certain crooner has been spending a lot of time with his first flame. But more on that later.
It's not just love in the air, of course. There's also a fair share of drama. With a family still at war, it's possible that our boy hero is looking to leave England behind forever. We've heard rumors that Harry Potter is scoping out the French Ministry in hopes of relocating. And he's not alone, either. When two members of a golden trio are looking around in a new country you had to assume they have good reason. My, my, how bad must things really be? We know that the future Mr. Parkinson has been spending more time with a new group of friends. To borrow a term from the Muggles, it would seem that the "baby mama" is not only deciding where this war hero will sleep for the rest of his life, but also deciding who he needs to be friends with. Talk about controlling.
And, while it's hardly worth mentioning, but we have space to fill, we've heard that a certain desperate heiress is making her way to the wedding of the decade. Better hold onto your husbands, ladies. She has her sights set on a diamond and doesn't care who it comes from.
WHERE'S WOOD? Just weeks ago, Oliver Wood was the talk of the town. Puddlemere was battling Ballycastle for the top of the rankings and Oliver Wood was in talks to become Captain. But now? Well, he shows up for practice, but no one has seen him socially. We heard suggestions that Mr. Wood was starting to have a little affair with our new werewolf, but that seems to have fizzled out. So, where is he and what is he up to?
Our sources tell us that Mr. Wood is so embarrassed by his teams standings that he's gone into hiding. What a shame. We all loved looking at him. It's also been said that Mr. Wood took a nasty bludger to the face during practice and his once award winning good looks have failed him. I guess we won't know until he decides to come out of hiding.
ROCK STAR LOVE Our favorite rock band has done it again, folks! After Myron Wagtail had a particularly gruesome encounter with some witches in the journals, the oh so sexy singer took his entire band, crew, and a few dozen fans out for ice cream. It was a sweet time for sure. Kirley Duke and his girlfriend, Melinda Bobbin, were looking cozy cuddled up and sharing some ice cream. Donny and Bea Tremlett were also tucked away whispering together. But the real surprise was Myron Wagtail having some ice cream with Hermione Granger.
You read that right. Hermione Granger.
It's an unlikely pairing to be sure. Sources tell us that these two are just friends, but who in their right mind is just friends with a rock star? Keep your eyes open for more "friendly" encounters.
MALFOY ILLNESS
Not all news is good news, dear readers. We are sad to announce that Witch Weekly has learned the matriarch of the Malfoy line, Narcissa Malfoy, is incredibly ill. Sources suggest the witch is dying and it's not as simple as dragonpox. No, we've learned that Aurors have been called in on several occasions to help the ailing witch, but nothing seems to be working. Dark Magic is complicated and tricky and we all know that Lucius Malfoy loves to dabble. With Draco Malfoy setting off to live a more quiet life, who is left at Malfoy Manor to keep things in check?
If Malfoy Senior isn't careful, he might not escape time in Azkaban after all.
POTION MAKERS RAIDED
The Ministry of Magic is not going to tolerate cheating. The Department of Magical Games and Sports has conducted no less than ten raids on potion makers resulting in the arrest of two wizards, Christopher Vincent and Brandon Ellis, and three witches, Melissa Cole, Tatiana Fowler, and Whitney Kent. These potion makers were found to be brewing and distributing illegal performance enhancing potions to several professional Quidditch players on the Chudley Cannons and the Wigtown Wanderers. Further investigation resulted in the suspension of six Cannons players and their trainer along with ten Wanderers.
Performance enhancing potions are strictly forbidden in the professional Quidditch world. Any player found to be using them is immediately suspended for the remainder of the season and all games won while potions were being used are considered losses. The wins will go to the losing team.
Department of Magical Games and Sports employee, Megan Jones, has advised Witch Weekly that new rankings will be distributed following Saturday's matches, but that both the Cannons and the Wanderers will likely be ranked 13th and 14th. For fans who were thrilled with the Cannons unlikely rise this season, this is sure to be a crushing blow.
Miss Jones also issued a warning that all teams will be thoroughly investigated this week and all players will have to submit to random tests to prove they are not under the influence of any potions.
Already fans are furious about the news, some suggesting that the Ministry is doing their best to rig the standings and allow Ballycastle to win the cup. Miss Jones has assured Witch Weekly that this is not the case and that all teams are being treated equally.