Who: Donny and Kirley What: Checking in Where: Kirley's Room When: Monday afternoon
He hadn't seen or heard from Kirley in days. That was unusual enough, considering how wrapped up they all were in each others' lives. But considering that Kirley tended to be the loudest of the bunch, the silence was unnerving Donny, and he figured that he could at least drop by, just to confirm that nothing was going on.
He knocked on the door of Kirley and Myron's flat, unsure if Melinda or anyone else may be there. Myron's new assistant let him in as he was leaving, and Donny made his way to Kirley's room. "Mate?" he called out as he knocked on the door, waiting to hear...anything, from the other side of the door. After a moment of silence, he tested the handle, finding it unlocked, and opened the door. He immediately raised his eyebrow as he made out Kirley's shape on the bed.
"Kirley? You sick?"
---
Kirley didn't know how long he'd been in bed. The curtains were drawn and the room was dark, save for a few soft lamps to light the housekeeper's way when she brought him food that would remain untouched, so he had no way of knowing how many times the sun had risen and set since he'd gotten into bed. Small progress had been made, however. Some time then and now, he'd managed to take off his shoes, but that was it. He still wore the same shirt and jeans from that day, and other than the occasional trip to the bathroom, he hadn't left the Kirley shaped dent in his side of the bed.
He was absolutely completely miserable, and the only person he had to blame was himself. He had cheated. He had started to fall for someone else. He broke Melinda's heart. He did it. No one else. The life he'd gotten so used to was gone. The woman he had fallen totally in love with was gone. He couldn't even find it in himself to pick up an instrument or give any sort of attention whatsoever to his dog, much less his family and bandmates. Everywhere he looked he saw Melinda. Even laying in the bed was painful. Her presence was all around him. Her smell, her clothes, the ghost of her body pressed against his back as he laid there. She was everywhere.
He heard the knock at his door, but he ignored it, figuring it was just the housekeeper coming to collect the uneaten turkey sandwich from his bedside. When he heard Donny's voice, however, he sighed. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to lay there.
"Go away, Donny."
---
Both of Donny's eyebrows went up at Kirley's voice, and he took a few more steps into the room, closing the door behind him. His mate looked rumpled, disheveled, and as he got closer, it became obvious that Kirley hadn't changed in a few days at least.
A frown pulled at his lips. He didn't think he'd ever seen Kirley like this. He didn't look sick, but he clearly wasn't alright. "Kirley..." Donny crouched next to the bed, in Kirley's line of sight. "What-?" He shook his head slightly. Kirley telling him to go away was telling enough that his mate didn't want to talk. But Donny was here now, and he couldn't very well just leave, not when his friend was in this state.
"Nevermind. You don't have to tell me. But you do have to get up. Come on, a shower will feel good," he coaxed, his hand resting on the side of the bed.
---
A groan issued up from the bed when Kirley heard Donny do the exact opposite of what he told him. "You fucking suck at following directions," he muttered, his voice hoarse from crying and lack of use. He didn't know how long it'd been since he'd stopped crying, but his eyes were still puffy and red, and he didn't think the tightness in his throat would ever go away.
When Donny came into his view, Kirley narrowed his eyes and pulled the blanket further up on his body. He knew he looked like shit, and he didn't need anyone judging him for it. "I don't have to do shit," he said, burying his face a bit into his pillow.
---
For a moment, Donny wandered if Kirley really was sick. His friend's voice was so scratchy, and Donny definitely wasn't used to that. He reached out and touched Kirley's forehead briefly before Kirley was tempted to swat him away. No fever. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. What the fuck happened?
"It'll help, mate. Unless you're trying to see how long it will take your mattress to dissolve or something, which I don't recommend." Donny let out a sigh, ducking his head. "Alright, I said I wasn't going to ask, but I don't know what to do because I don't know what's wrong. What's going on? Should I get Mel?"
---
Kirley closed his eyes when Donny touched his head, but didn't jerk away. Maybe he would go away if he humored him.
But then he spoke, and said her name. "Mel's gone," he said with a little huff of dark laughter. "We're over."
Rolling over onto his back, he stared up at the ceiling. It was the first time he'd said it out loud. It was the first time he'd had to tell anyone. It was real now. She was gone, and he was alone. Suddenly he began to laugh. It was a dark laugh, but it only lasted a few seconds before it dissolved into tears. Sobs wracked his body as he rolled back over onto his side.
---
Donny's eyebrows scrunched together as Kirley spoke. She was gone? Hearing that they were over, followed by Kirley's sad laugh, however brief it was, made his stomach sink. Kirley loved Mel. He didn't need to know much more beyond that. He could see that it was destroying Kirley, and his first priority was taking care of his friend.
Wordlessly, he climbed into the bed with Kirley, pulling him close so that he could hold him while he cried. It had been years, but he remembered how he'd been when he and Bea had broken up. Kirley had been there for him, even though Donny had been a massive dick. He owed him.
His hands rubbed Kirley's back soothingly, running on instinct as his hands went over the material of his friend's shirt.
---
Kirley hadn't known how much he needed to be held until Donny crawled into bed with him. Clutching at his friend's shirt, Kirley buried himself in his chest and cried. His heart was shattered. Broken into a million pieces, and right then he saw no hope of ever putting it back together again.
He didn't know how long they laid there together, but eventually his crying slowed. He didn't pull his face away though, and instead spoke into Donny's shirt. "It's my fault," he said. "I did it. I fucked up."
---
Donny frowned as Kirley cried, his sense of dread growing. He hated any of his friends being upset, but this was breaking his heart, and he had no idea how to fix it.
He let his fingers trail through Kirley's hair as his sobbing slowed. His friend's words drew his attention, and he raised an eyebrow even though he knew kirley couldn't see it. He let his chin rest on Kirley's head, thinking it over. He couldn't very well say it wasn't Kirley's fault without knowing the whole story.
"What happened?"
---
He didn't want to move. He didn't want to leave the comfort of Donny's embrace, but if they were going to talk, which they apparently were, he needed to not be suffocating himself against his friend's shirt.
So he pulled away just enough to roll back onto his back and sighed. "I cheated," he said simply, his voice thick. "I met a guy. There were feelings."
---
Donny moved with Kirley, sliding down on the bed, while letting his arm stay under Kirley's neck. For a moment, he was very confused at Kirley's explanation of why he and Melinda had broken up. They had an open relationship, at least where same sex was concerned, as far as Donny knew anyway.
But the mention of feelings cleared things up for him. It had only ever been about sex with beautiful people until Melinda came along. And if there were other feelings... "You can't help that," he said softly. "Having feelings for someone doesn't mean that you don't love Mel."
---
"I know it doesn't," Kirley said softly, casting his eyes away from Donny. "But it wasn't just that. I lied. I lied about him, lied about where I was."
Pulling away from Donny, he sat up, looking down at his hands. "I had to tell her. When I realized... I promised her there would never be feelings. I promised I would never lie to her. Such a simple fucking promise, and I couldn't even do that."
He shook his head and stared down at his lap. "What the fuck is wrong with me..."
---
Donny let him pull away, but left his hand in the space between them incase Kirley felt the need to grab it. His friend's words were troubling for so many reasons. It wasn't like Kirley to lie in general, and he could understand now why it was a big deal. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with you. People make mistakes, Kirley. It's human nature for us to fuck up."
He let out a quiet sigh and rubbed Kirley's back. "Mel loves you. She may be hurting right now, but she loves you, and that means there's a shot for this to be fixed. If you want it to be."
---
"She told me to leave," he said softly, looking back slightly over his shoulder. "When I told her. She told me to leave and I did. I didn't fight it."
He turned back then and brought his knees up, resting his elbows on them. "I don't deserve it," he muttered. "I don't deserve it to be fixed. I don't deserve her. I'm not... good for her."
In his eyes, Melinda was perfect. She accepted him for exactly who he was, and never even suggested a desire to try and change him. If only that had been enough...
---
"You're not a bad man, Kirley. You deserve to be happy. You may not think so right now, and maybe you should feel bad about what happened, but that doesn't mean that you stop fighting," he said softly. He continued rubbing his friend's back, hoping that the contact was helping.
---
Kirley shook his head and folded his arms over his knees, laying his head down. "I hate myself, Donny," he whispered, unsure if his friend could even hear him.
It was true, what he said, and it was unsettling. Kirley was a narcissist with a huge ego. Until a few days ago, he had loved everything about himself and his life. And while he loved his siblings and his parents and his band, Melinda had been the first person he'd truly put ahead of himself. And to hurt her like this, to see it all come crashing down was enough to create a loathing of himself. If he had been different, if he had been better, this never would have happened.
---
Donny did hear him, and it broke his heart a bit. He loved Kirley, narcissistic egomaniac that he was, and to know that the man in front of him was essentially broken... He couldn't even be mad at Melinda. He could understand where she came from, but Kirley was his mate, his brother, and he was always going to be on his side.
He reached out and pulled Kirley to him, wrapping him in an embrace again. "We'll figure something out, you and I." He pressed a kiss to Kirley's hair, much like he would if Bea was hurting. "This... is it over, with that man?" Please, Merlin, let Kirley have done that at least.
---
Kirley nodded slowly. "I ended it when I realized I had feelings for him," he explained. "I'd known something was changing, but I didn't know what. Then on Mel's birthday... I didn't see him, and I missed him. That's when I knew."
He didn't know how it had happened, or exactly when his relationship with Alex had changed. But when he caught himself thinking of him when he was with Mel, that's when he knew.
---
Donny nodded, understanding Kirley's thought process. "We'll figure it out," he said again. Melinda was good for Kirley, and he thought that they went together in their crazy way. They made sense together, and Donny would do everything in his power to get them back together.
"First things first, though. I can't let you just waste away here," he said softly. He gave Kirley a good squeeze before sliding off the bed, and then held his hand out to his mate. "Shower first, and then you're going to eat some soup or something. No arguments, I'll drag you around if I have to." While Donny could completely understand where Kirley was - had been there himself - the resolved look on his face showed that he wouldn't let Kirley out of taking care of himself.
---
Kirley sighed softly and looked at Donny. He knew there was no use arguing. If he didn't get up, he had no trouble believing Donny would use magic to get him out of bed. He needed to get out of bed anyway. He hadn't bathed in days, and his sheets were beginning to smell.
"Fine," he said quietly, pulling himself out of bed starting towards the bathroom. He was slow moving, but at least he was moving.
---
Donny nodded, offering Kirley a small smile as his friend walked past him. He had been about ready to drag him in the bathroom and into the shower if he had to, but this was so much easier. While Kirley was in the shower, Donny went ahead and stripped the sheets off his mate's bed and opened the blinds before he went to grab new bedclothes.
Once that was done, he went to the kitchen and found something small for Kirley to eat and brought it back to the bedroom.
---
He stood in the shower for a long while before even making a motion for the soap. The hot water felt amazing on his skin, so he was content to stand there, letting himself soak. He bathed himself slowly, and washed his hair twice. Without thinking, he'd grabbed Melinda's shampoo first, and it wasn't until he was done that the smell of jasmine hit his nose. Thankfully, the shower washed away his tears as they fell, and he reached for his own shampoo, trying to wash the scent away. It didn't completely mask it, but it was good enough.
Emerging from the shower, he dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist before starting back to the bedroom. He groaned when the light of the say hit him coming out of the bathroom, and held a hand up to shield his eyes. "Fucking hell," he complained. "Why would you do that."
---
He had put the soup on the bedside table and started remaking the bed while he waited for Kirley to finish. The room was already looking, and smelling, better, and it made Donny breath a little bit easier. Now he just had to figure out what else he could do to help his friend. Kirley's words brought a small smirk to his face and he glanced up while tucking the sheets in on one side of the bed. "Because you're not a vampire, and I'm not going to let you wallow anymore," he replied. He tossed the new pillows on to the bed before pointing to the soup. "Eat that. If you're still hungry after, I'll make you a sandwich or something."
---
Kirley scoffed and rolled his eyes before heading across the large room to his closet, practically another room unto itself. "You know we pay people to do that right?" he asked as he emerged once he was dressed. It was just a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, but it was something. "Making the bed? Tiffany, I think her name is. She does that."
He wanted to argue about eating, but he couldn't deny he was hungry, especially when his stomach started growling at the smell of the soup. So he picked up the bowl and took it over to the couch, taking a seat in the corner to stare down into the bowl. He swirled the spoon around a bit, before lifting it to his lips and taking a bite. "Happy?" he asked Donny.
---
"I was feeling generous. Didn't want to subject Tiffany or whatever to the stench of your bed," he shot back automatically, though his voice was still soft, kind. Once the bed was made, he sat on the corner, raising an eyebrow at Kirley as the man took his first sip. "I'm ecstatic. Isn't it obvious?"
Donny leaned back slightly, letting his head drop back so that he could look at Kirley's ceiling and not stare at his friend while he ate. They could figure this whole thing out. Donny was determined. First, he needed to concentrate of taking care of Kirley physically though, then he could move on to helping Kirley fix his relationship.
---
Curling up on himself a little bit, Kirley ate his soup, not really registering the taste of it. He must have been hungrier than he realized, because it was gone before he knew it, and he set the empty bowl down on the coffee table, the spoon clanging a bit against the side.
"So what now?" he asked. "Because honestly I'd really just like to go back to bed now."
---
"Want more?" he asked, once he heard Kirley finish the soup. He raised his head and looked over at his mate before he ran a hand over his face as he thought.
"Yeah, alright. Go back to bed. But I'll be back in a few hours to make sure you eat dinner," he replied, standing up. Donny held a hand out to Kirley to pull him up. "I love you, you know. I'll do whatever I can."
---
Kirley nodded and stood. "I know." Giving Donny's hand a squeeze, he pulled him in for a hug. "I love you too, brother."
Pulling back, he turned from Donny and slowly walked back to his bad. He crawled under the covers and curled up on his side, facing away from the windows. Sunlight still streamed in though, the downside of a wall of floor to ceiling windows. "Pull the curtains, yeah? S'too bright in here."