Trio Maxwell-Chang (trio) wrote in fictionaltrio, @ 2007-08-12 02:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | naoe nagi, weiß kreuz |
[Weiß Kreuz] Abandonment
Title: Abandonment
Author: Trio Maxwell-Chang
Fandom: Weiß Kreuz
Pairing or POV: Nagi
He never sat bolt upright when he woke from the dreams. They weren't those kinds of nightmares. Instead, his eyes would slip open and he'd slowly turn on his side, feeling the already-drying salt-tracks of tears sliding from the corners of his eyes toward each ear. To anyone else, the sensation might be odd, but he'd grown used to it - years of the same thing happening over and over secured the habit in place. And it stayed as he put faces to the names, tweaking memories over ten years old with new information.
He had to assume that they'd go on with their lives at some point, but to see it with his own eyes... It hurt. The night he watched them, he went back to his home and curled up, barricading his mind tight against intrusion as he stared at the wall and stored everything he'd witnessed into his memory. The walls looked strange behind a barrier of tears, he decided distantly, forcing himself into the same mindset he always adopted in the face of more extreme emotion. He may not be quite able to stop the outward show, but he could at least lock it into the background where he wouldn't feel it as strongly.
At least with the true memories so far in the past, he could slowly layer over them with lies. It would never quite erase the hurt, but at least it might be a little less if he could just convince himself that he'd left them behind. If he hadn't had fate thrust upon him, perhaps he would've gone elsewhere in life. In his more ironic moments, he wondered if he might've ended up in Kritiker, used and abused in the name of some ego-maniac's idea of 'good'. But in a small corner of his mind, he knew the truth.
They'd abandoned him - purposefully, intentionally. They'd chosen to look at him as less than human, had dropped him into the hands of strangers at the orphanage. They disappeared without a backward glance, glad to be rid of him before his talents could even fully manifest. Blame might have fueled his search, but in the end, he was left with only a pipe-dream of a happy home, and three teammates who, wisely, said nothing at all.
~End~
Word Count: 383