Trio Maxwell-Chang (trio) wrote in fictionaltrio, @ 2007-08-12 01:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | hidaka ken, kudou yoji, weiß kreuz |
[Weiß Kreuz] Mission Room
Title: Mission Room
Author: Trio Maxwell-Chang
Fandom: Weiß Kreuz
Pairing or POV: Ken
The mission room is a calm retreat after a hard day in the shop, but only if we don't have a mission to complete. If we do, Omi is generally on the computer, and occasionally one of the rest of us help him in some way - usually by being a sounding board for his ideas and thoughts.
But when there's no mission, the rest of them avoid the mission room as though not being there might change who they are. Most of the time, that suits me perfectly. To them, it's a hated place. To me, it's a sanctuary, the perfect place to sit and think about what I am and where I want to go. Without them around, I don't have to listen to the laughter and teasing or see the pensive glares. I don't have to maintain my cheerful mask. We all depend on each other to be certain things, but when we're alone, we can let those masks drop and just be whatever we need to be.
Yes, most of the time, it suits me really well to have that extra space of sanctuary. I brood, just like the rest of them. I consider every twist and turn that my life has taken and what I've done with that life, and I'm almost always ashamed of myself. But they don't know that, and if I have anything to say about it, they never will.
It's only sometimes, when I feel the need to be particularly harsh with myself, that I let my mind dwell on others, on the life Yuriko offered me and why I even considered it. I'm a killer. Killers don't return to normal society when they're done. They do their penance, and the punishment will last until they die, or even after. Yohji was right when he stopped me from going with her, but I often wonder why he did.
Some days, I dream I could just look up from my thoughts into those grass-green eyes and ask why. In those dreams, he's sitting nearby, also lost in thought. And in those dreams, I get an answer.
But only in the dreams.
~End~
Word Count: 359