femexchange_mod (femexchange_mod) wrote in fem_exchange, @ 2008-01-01 23:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | luna/cho, r |
Happy holidays, _afterism! (Luna/Cho, R)
Title: I Once Was Lost
Author: ???
Recipient: _afterism
Rating: R for implied drug use, implied consensual sexual activity between minors
Length: 1,885 words
Pairing(s): Luna/Cho
Summary: Cho stifled another sob. "What do you want?" "To help you," said Luna, "and to find one of my shoes. I'm still missing just that one."
Warning(s): Drug use. Underage girls. Beware the femmeslash, my reader! The lips that touch, the chromosomes that match!
Note: Written for fem_exchange. The smoking of Gillyweed comes directly from shoebox_project - that was *not* my original idea - so a very special thanks to shoebox_project. If you haven't already discovered the fabulousness that is SBP, go and do so now - after you read this fic. :) My interpretation of what the results are, however, varies from those presented in SBP. Title comes from "Amazing Grace."
When Harry Apparated out of thin air holding Cedric's body, Cho felt her heart break for the first time. She watched in disbelief as the Hogwarts champions lay there; one sobbing, the other silent as death. In that moment, she hated Cedric, hated him for making her love him, hated him for asking her to the Yule Ball in the first place, but most of all, for leaving her behind.
As Cho gathered her things in preparation for the ride home from Hogwarts, she found herself drowning in a sea of memories. The sheer number of notes and letters alone was overwhelming, but it wasn't until she came upon a picture of them at the Yule Ball that she fell apart. She curled into herself, knees tucked up under her chin, head bent down into her robe.
Her sobs continued until she felt the warmth of a hand on her shoulder. It's not him, Cho thought before looking up. Her heart ached inside her chest, tears protesting the sudden stop.
The room looked much the same as it had before she began to cry, the walls of stone a deep gray, the ceiling masked in darkness from the setting sun outside. The bleakness of the room made Luna stand out, her blond hair a halo around her pale face, an angel where such creatures feared to tread.
"Hullo, then," said Luna, crouching down to Cho's level. Her blue eyes looked more glassy than usual in the darkness, a smile spread across Luna's lips as though she was keeping a joke to herself. "They said you were only a bit teary, but I told them you'd be a ball of sobs."
Cho stifled another sob. "What do you want?"
"To help you," said Luna, "and to find one of my shoes. I'm still missing just that one."
Wiping the back of her hand across her face, Cho studied Luna. "Why do you want to help me?"
Luna didn't answer. Bending her head down to her knees, Cho began to cry in earnest. She was never going to see Cedric again. She would never again know the feel of his body against her as he held her close, the touch of his fingers to her lips as he considered kissing her. The cold air of the dorm room chilled her, and she cried harder.
The warmth of Luna's arms around her surprised her. "Don't cry. Please don't." Luna rocked her back and forth, her slender body pressed close to Cho's, filling the empty space around Cho. It seemed so natural to fall into Luna's arms then. No one else had bothered to touch her; they'd all been filled with empty sentiments and sullenness. Over the past few hours, no one had come near her. She felt like a pariah, wondering when they'd chase her out of the school.
"Sh," Luna said, stroking Cho's hair. "Don't cry. It doesn't help." They rocked back and forth like that for a long time, just the two of them on the stone floor of the empty dorm room. Cho cried until she was too weak and hoarse to cry anymore. Instead, she held onto Luna the way she used to hold Cedric, the way she still wanted to hold Cedric, and she clung to those memories as though clinging to a life raft.
Luna was so warm, her body so full of living. Not like poor, dead Cedric, now as cold as the lake outside Hogwarts. Luna was soft, too, and comfortable, and Cho felt her eyes closing, even as she struggled to stay awake.
"Hush," said Luna. "Don't struggle, just let it happen. You'll feel better, I promise."
Cho felt her eyelids flutter open and closed before she fell asleep, exhausted from the tears she'd cried.
***
When she awoke, Cho found herself tucked into her dorm bed, school clothes still on, barrettes still holding her hair up. Luna was still at the foot of the bed facing away from Cho, her body so still as to be mistaken for a statue. Cho was struck once again by the way Luna stood out from the darkness of their surroundings.
"You're still here," said Cho, sitting up in bed.
"I am." A trail of smoke accompanied Luna's words, wisps of gray that faded into the walls around them.
Crawling to the end of the bed, Cho sniffed the air for the telltale smell of fire, but the air was odorless. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Cho moved until she was sitting next to Luna, the tips of her toes brushing the floor beneath them. Between her fingers, Luna held a short, thick cylinder, one end of which seemed to be issuing smoke. Luna put her lips to it and inhaled deeply before releasing the smoke in a long sigh.
"What are you doing?" said Cho.
"What I always do when I think of death," said Luna. Her voice was soft and far away, and for a moment Cho wondered if this was all a dream. "Would you like some?"
Cho frowned. "What is that?"
"Gillyweed."
"What?"
Luna took another long drag off the cylinder. "It will take you away from here, at least for a little while. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
It took only a moment for Cho to see Cedric's lifeless body again in her mind's eyes. That was all she needed to consider as she made her decision. "Yes."
"Come here," said Luna. "Close your eyes."
Cho raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"That's how it's got to be done," said Luna.
Though she was skeptical of Luna, Cho didn't think Luna wished her harm. Thinking back on the events that had transpired, of Luna stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth until she'd cried herself to sleep, Cho closed her eyes.
A moment later, she felt Luna's mouth on hers and one of Luna's hands on her cheek. Cho made to move, but thought better of it. She'd never be able to kiss Cedric again. The pain of it redoubled inside her and she pulled Luna forward, putting what was left of her heart into the kiss. Luna wasn't Cedric, her body smooth where his was coarse, mouth gentle where his had been demanding, but she was here now, warm and welcoming, and maybe that would be enough.
Cho tasted black licorice and cinnamon, her tongue wrapping around the smoke Luna exhaled. Luna wrapped herself up in Cho, sliding up onto Cho's lap until she was straddling her, their bodies pressed tight together. It was then that the Gillyweed hit Cho, and she came up for air, blinking. The world was spinning like a kaleidoscope, all of the colors whirling about her.
It was as if the room was reaching out to touch her, Cho thought. Taking in the scent of lilacs in Luna's hair, the sight of Luna above her; the vividness of it all amazed her. There was so much to see and touch, so much more than she'd ever imagined. It seemed as though the pain surrounding her had gone on holiday, and for that she was grateful.
"Luna," said Cho, but then Luna's mouth was back on hers, tongue teasing her own, and she had no words. With hair shining in the darkness, eyes sparkling like fireflies, Luna was stunning. Cho felt as though she could slide right through Luna, into her body, and still not experience it enough. There was just so much to feel.
"What do you see?" said Luna, sitting on Cho's lap, arms still wrapped around her.
"Everything," said Cho. "I see everything. It's as if I've fallen up or down or- There's just so much of everything."
Luna smiled. "That's what I see as well."
Cho heard the words tumble out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Kiss me again. Please. I mean, I want you to. You don't have to, but-"
Luna took the smoke into her mouth once more and pressed her lips to Cho's, who accepted the kiss gratefully, feeling as though she'd been remiss all her life before this exchange. She'd never be able to see Cedric alive again, would never be able to hold his warm hands in hers, but for this moment, she felt she encompassed everything, all parts of the room, the castle, the world. Perhaps even some part of Cedric, she realized.
"Did you love him?" said Luna.
"Yes," said Cho. "Very much."
Luna's expression didn't change. "I'm sorry for your lose."
"So am I." Cho looked at Luna. "Do you do this often?"
Nodding, Luna said, "It takes away my pain."
"The others call you Loony, you know."
"I do." Luna lowered her voice and pressed her lips to Cho's ear. "But they don't see things the way I do. I pity them for that."
A shiver began at the base of Cho's spine and vibrated through her body. She pressed a hand to Luna's face and kissed her again, softly, taking in the lushness of her mouth and the sweetness of the Gillyweed smoke.
"You're lovely," said Cho. "You really are. Thank you for doing this."
For a long while, they didn't speak.
They didn't need to.
***
Some time later - Cho had no idea how long; she'd long since lost track of time - they dressed again. Luna held her close and they kissed. There was a kind of finality in the exchange that made Cho uncomfortable. She wondered if she was imagining it, if perhaps the Gillyweed was finally wearing off.
"I'm sorry you won't be able to remember this," said Luna.
"What?" Cho's stomach flipped over. She'd already lost one love; she didn't want to lose what felt like it could be the next. Fighting to keep her fear at bay, Cho balled her hands into fists and took a deep breath. It didn't last; she was too concerned that she'd done something wrong, perhaps upset Luna in some way. "Why? It felt so- Luna, I-"
"Hush." Luna raised her wand and pointed it at Cho. "You're a beautiful, wonderful girl, but you're meant to do more than smoke Gillyweed and lay about in bed all day. It's addictive, you know. Once you start-"
She broke off, blinking once. "It's not important. Anyway, goodbye, Cho Chang."
"Luna, wai-"
"Obliviate!"
The room spun in and out of focus. When she could see straight again, Cho found herself standing in front of Luna Lovegood. For the first time since Cho had met her, Luna looked sad. Her blue eyes had dimmed to a murky green, her face ashen instead of pale.
"Luna," said Cho, forgetting her own pain for a moment. "Are you all right?"
"Quite," said Luna. "I just had to let go of something I hadn't planned to catch hold of."
Cho sighed. "I'm sorry. I hope you get it back."
"It's better this way," said Luna. "Now, do you think you could help me find my shoe? It's the only one still missing."
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