Riley Bexton (rbexton) wrote in feinted, @ 2012-01-31 21:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | brooke-summers, riley-bexton |
Who: Brooke Summers & Riley Bexton.
What: Miscommunication.
When: A few days after he returned to the dorms.
Where: The Salem commons.
Warnings: None! Well. Riley’s .. Riley.
Status: Complete!
While much calmed down, Brooke still didn’t feel settled. She’d had her fit of anger. She’d had her cry. She’d even had her alcoholic binge. About the only thing she did not have was answers. Riley had been unwilling to talk to anyone but Sol and Cody since he’d moved back into their common room. She tried to give him space, seeing if he’s come to her first, but the longer they went without speaking, the more her anger began to bubble up. Finally, when she felt like she couldn’t take it any longer, Brooke approached her friend. “Riley, can I talk with you?” She chose her words carefully, trying to sound non-accusatory. All she wanted were answers, not drama. Despite wanting to stay in the abandoned classroom, even with its many difficulties, Riley had agreed to return to their commons if only because of Sol and Cody. But it hadn’t been an easy or a welcome return. His housemates were angry at him, understandably, but it wasn’t like he could take it back. He couldn’t go back in time and fix things. They had happened. He wasn’t perfect. But he had been doing his best to lay low, keep his head down, stay under the radar... Brooke’s words caught him off guard. Riley had been curled up in the common room in a chair, staring off into the distance. He hadn’t spoken a word to anyone except for a very select few friends. Namely Cody. And that wasn’t to say they weren’t angry at him. After the talk with their coach and the talk with Cody and the annoyance that radiated off of Sol, the only people Riley felt comfortable talking to were from Hogwarts. And even then, he still … he had to live with himself and his decisions. And what came of the bad ones. Looking up at Brooke, he gave a slight nod, but didn’t move from the chair. Didn’t say a word. He imagined she’d yell at him, like everyone else, and he’d stay where he’d been all day. Feeling worse and worse about what he’d done. And more and more like he wished he’d actually asked to go home. “Please get up,” Brooke said tightly. “Or at least look me in the eye. I don’t have any intention of yelling at you.” Waiting a moment, to see if he would respond, she flopped to the chair next to his, balancing her chin on her fist. “I’m not going to apologize for what I said, because I think it needed saying, but are you okay?” As an afterthought, she flicked her wand, putting up a silencing charm. It wasn’t that she didn’t think their teammates would bother them, but she wanted this conversation to be private. As they sat, Brooke opened her mouth to speak before closing it. She wasn’t going to fill the silence just because it was uncomfortable. After her emotional breakdown Saturday night, she had done a some thinking. Perhaps they were all at fault, in some way, but she wasn’t going to theorize until she’d heard something from Riley. Despite her anger towards her friend, she still loved him dearly. He didn’t want to upset her any more than he already had. But it was like his mouth was cemented shut. His vocal chords grated like metal against cement. Instead, he turned to look at her, rubbing a tired hand over his face as she spoke to him, at least giving her enough respect to look her in the eyes like she requested. Her question, however, was replied to with a subtle shrug, his gaze slipping back to the carpet. He wished he could slip under the fuzz and hide where no one could find him. Forever. He wasn’t even mad at Brooke. How could he be? He was the one who caused the problems. Constantly. He was the one who messed things up. He was the one who made people angry. She didn’t need to apologize. She had nothing to apologize for. He gave another shrug, for good measure, in case she hadn’t seen the first one, as he fiddled with the book at his side, running his fingers over the worn cover of The Catcher in the Rye. He wasn’t talking, which was annoying, and Brooke had to physically bite her tongue to keep from speaking. Going through the ABCs––backwards––she let out a sigh. “I’m worried about you, Riley, and I’m sure the others are too.” Brooke bit her lip and drew a leg up, now balancing her chin on her knee. “But I think we can only reach out so much and not get any response before we have to do the unthinkable and move on. I don’t want to do that.” She didn’t know if anything she was saying was getting through to him, but she could have hope. Picking at the hole that was beginning to form at the knee of her jeans, Brooke let her mind wander over events of the past couple months. How many times had Riley said he’d prefer if he were elsewhere? Was he truly that unhappy playing with Salem and, by extension, herself? He didn’t want to be rude. But he still...he just didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to explain himself again. He didn’t want to hear the annoyance in anyone’s voice. He just wanted to..to be. To be alone. Riley watched her move, shuffle in smaller, and he realized he had to give her something. He opened his mouth a few times, like a gasping fish, and then looked away. “If you want to stay here, Riley, something has to change. You have to change.” This had been instructed by their coach, who had been surprised and disappointed in his seeker, after admitting that the boy would also be moved to second-string for the next game. And would have to shape up before he’d be allowed to reclaim his position for their next match in March. Obviously, Riley had been devastated. But mostly, he felt disconnected. And wasteful. And hurt. He’d ruined something for himself. He’d hurt all the other people on his team. Sure, Ruby would get to play--but he’d lost the trust he’d built with Ryu and Jonah. With Brooke and Willow and Sol. He didn’t expect her to even want to look at him anymore. He felt disgusting. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed to expel from his mouth, the words so mangled as he stared at the wall, though his body faced her. He repeated it again, his apology honest. Brooke shifted slightly to look at Riley, offering a small smile as he apologized. At least that was a step in the right direction. “I know you are.” She chose not to follow up to see if he was alright. He was sitting here in the common room, was he not? Though he wasn’t speaking much, at least they knew where to find him. “I’m here if you want to talk. Or if you don’t. That’s okay too.” Picking up her wand, Brooke summoned her latest trashy romance from her dorm. As the book settled into her hand, she took down the silencing charm. “Do you mind if I sit here and read awhile?” she asked. Because dammit, she was still angry with him, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to offer moral support, even of the silent variety. But her smile didn’t do anything to ease his wounded disposition. Instead, it made him angry. “Don’t smile at me, Brooke,” he grumbled. “I was a shitty friend. A terrible player. I don’t deserve to be here--I’m a traitor. And you pretending to be okay with things isn’t making anything better.” He tossed his book across the room, not intending to be dramatic. He just...he couldn’t help that he felt like he was somehow going to end up with a pass. He had apologized to the team. Whatever. It wasn’t enough. “So no. I don’t deserve to sit here while you read. I deserve to be screamed at. Slap me. Punch me. Hex me. Call me names or tell me you’ll never talk to me again. I let you all fucking down and I’m sorry, but sorry doesn’t fucking mean anything unless you change. And I don’t fucking know how to change!” His chest heaved as he shouted, having risen from his seat, his expression pained and confused simultaneously. Brooke leaned back as Riley began to shout, her expression growing bored with every word he said. If he wanted push back, she’d push back. “If you expect me to react by having a tantrum, then you’re sorely mistaken. I’ve already had mine. So you want to have your sulk and tantrum fine, have it, but I’m not fulfilling your masochistic tendencies.” “Further,” she continued, “if you don’t know how to change than you ask, dammit. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s what the team’s here for. Willow needed help and asked. Now she’s working her ass off with extra practices.” Brooke pressed her lips together into a thin line. “Things aren’t better, Riley, but clearly I was making a mistake when I thought you grew up a little.” Standing up, Brooke tucked her wand into the waistband of her jeans. “I’m not going to sit here and cater to your wishes, Riley. Come and find me when you’re ready to make a change. I’ll be more than happy to help.” Riley sighed, frowning as he walked across the room to pick up the book, feeling sufficiently dumb. “Wait--Brooke. Please,” he pleaded, clutching the paperback to his side. “I’m sorry! Honestly! I’m just--I’m trying. I’m trying to be quiet and cooperative. I’m working harder in practices than I ever have before. I’m trying to listen to Jonah and listen to Cody and Ryu and everybody. But I just..I feel like it’s not going to change anything. Like it’s not enough to make things right.” “I don’t know what anyone wants from me. I just--I need some direction.” His expression slipped further, enough to slide off the pretense of anger to show true worry and exhaustion. “I don’t want to disappoint you anymore.” He looked away, back out the window. “If anyone’s like family, it’s you. Please don’t leave.” Brooke turned and looked at Riley, her heart breaking slightly as the mask slipped. “We want you to be happy, Riley. I want you to be happy, but you’re going from one extreme to the other.” Running a hand over her face, she sighed, suddenly tired and wanting nothing more than a nap. “I don’t know what to say or do, Riley. I don’t have the answers.” Opening her mouth, Brooke promptly closed it, realizing she didn’t have anything else to say. “I’m sorry,” she said finally. “I’m sorry. I need to go lie down.” He watched her go, feeling sad and hurt as he slipped back to the couch and curled up, staring out the window again as he ignored the rest of the common room until someone reminded him that it was time for dinner. And breakfast. And classes. Riley stayed in his spot for almost three days before he pried himself out of his misery and applied himself to Alex’s exercise program--spending all of his free time running and working out instead of hiding on the couch. Instead of being ever present, Riley was never present. And he didn’t bother Brooke again. |