Surrender Hamilton (surihamilton) wrote in featherdust, @ 2008-12-15 04:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | spent!jin, spent!surrender |
Jin was a gentle man. Jin had a kind, unassuming, and calm nature that made him easy to be comfortable with, relaxing to be around. it was because of this that when he was angry it was difficult for anyone to know what to do, even someone who had known him for going on 26 years. It had always been difficult for Suri to see her friend angry... Of course, it was difficult for her to see him upset in any application of the word, but his anger was the only emotion of Jin's that she wasn't particularly well acquainted with. Everything else Surrender knew how to deal with, knew all of the right things to do to calm him, but when he was angry she could do little more than brace herself and wait out the storm.
That night storm he had and what a storm it had been. Fueled by sadness, frustration, and disappointment, Jin had been angrier than surrender had seen him in years. One of the only times she'd seen him angrier had been the day he'd learned of his mother being diagnosed with breast cancer.
As it often was, it had actually been Jin's mother who had caused Jin's outburst. They'd found out on Friday that Jin would be required to return to Korea before the upcoming holiday and while Jin had been upset he'd been far from angry. A combination of his vacation time being cut, having to leave the first place he'd felt happy in the longest time, the recent actions of a competing production company, and the harsh criticism of his mother had been what had actually caused him to break.
His mother always had been the one best able to get under his skin. There was very likely no one in the world who he loved and respected more which put her in the a perfect position to play on the strongest of her son's emotions, and she was always so hard on him. Jin was always at fault, no matter the situation. Nothing was ever good enough for her and no matter how much Jin's friends tried to convince him otherwise there was always a part of him that would believe her.
Awkwardly Suri attended to her Neopet while he and his mother raged at each other. She spoke to Ian and Sydney on messenger and shifted awkwardly in her chair. She could hear his mother as plainly as if she was on speaker phone and Jin was making no effort to keep his voice down, not that she would have wanted him to. It was just difficult for her not to turn to her friend and to sit near him to try to at least be some sort of comfort to him, but she knew that acknowledging what was going on on the other side of the room would only make things worse. It was then that the dreaded words came from his phone. His mother grew fed up with the conversation and Surrender heard her proclaim that she wouldn't change her opinion and demand to talk to Surrender, or as his mother put it "the sensible one".
Suri shrunk down over her keyboard, attempting to appear invisible as if that would help. Surrender was extremely close to Jin's mother. The older woman had never had a daughter, and while that was culturally desirable it was always nice to have a little girl to play with when one was the mother of three boys. There were very few people in the world that intimidated Surrender on any level and despite the fact that Surrender and Jin's mother were quite close she was at the top of the very short list.
Jin stalked over to Surrender and held the phone out to her violently, nearly dropping it as it came within six inches of Suri's face. Surrender cringed and reached out, taking the phone gingerly as if it would bite her then holding it to her ear. "Hello, Uhmma," Surrender said quietly in Korean as Jin dropped to the floor at her feet and leaned against her leg. His hands covered his face and Suri dropped her fingers reflexively to his hair as Jin's mother rattled something off about needing fresh air after such a disgraceful outburst from her ridiculous, unmarried son and asked Surrender about her new job.
"My new job is going very well, Uhmma... ah.. yes, I've even made some friends already. They're very nice. No, I haven't found anyone to.. I haven't found anyone like that yet, but I'm sure I'll be settled before you know it. Yes, you're right. Mm, as long as you don't tell my parents, you'll be the first to know," Suri said with a small smile. Jin was breathing heavily as his emotions adjusted from the rage he'd felt when speaking to his mother, and Surrender worked her fingers through his hair. She needed to rush the conversation along. He'd be sad soon, once he realized he wasn't angry anymore. There was a very brief period of time in between the two emotions, and Surrender preferred to be at full attention when the change occurred.
The conversation with Jin's mother continued for a short time before Surrender exclaimed about the time, apologizing to Jin's mother and politely mentioning that she had to go to bed in order to get Jin to his flight on time. His mother fussed about Suri making sure to take care of her son who was ever unable to take care of himself before the call ended and Surrender dropped the telephone abruptly to her desk. She pushed her chair out from under her to kneel next to Jin. Her hand dropped from his hair as she knelt and she quietly set her cheek against his shoulder.
Jin dropped one of his hands and looked away from Surrender severely. "I can't do this," he said in harsh, rushed Korean that Surrender could scarcely understand, but she didn't say anything. Silence passed between them for several minutes before Jin finally exhaled and rested his cheek against the top of Surrender's head and relaxed. "It isn't worth it to be angry about this. It will only cause gray hairs on my head," he said in resigned English and with a small, unconvincing chuckle before he sat back and leaned against the wall. He propped his arms against his knees and crossed them in front of him then leaned his head against the wall. He sighed and Surrender didn't move.
It was a few minutes before Jin moved again and Surrender did the same, silently waiting for him to work through his confused emotions enough to say something. It took a little longer than she had anticipated but finally Jin lifted an arm and reached out to her, motioning for her to come closer. Surrender obliged and moved in to his offered embrace, setting her hand on his knee. He sighed and laughed, again unconvincingly. "It's alright, Suri. I can. I can do this on my own," he said in the resigned voice that he used when he was trying to convince someone of something. Surrender pulled back and gave him an offended look then lifted her hand and whacked him across the head.
"Jin-Kyu!" she snapped angrily. "Who are you talking to?"
Jin stared at her for a moment in shock before he coughed out a genuine laugh that was choked with a sob that he'd been holding back since he'd first begun fighting with his mother. He looked lost as to how it was that he wanted to react. His body was telling him that it was time to cry, but his mind was insisting that he wanted to laugh and for a moment there was just a look of pure confusion across his features. Suri smiled at him and reached out to touch his cheek comfortingly. Jin's expression faded into a sad smile and he shook his head. "I don't.. really," there was a pause and his eyes glazed over. He began looking past Surrender rather than at her and he leaned forward against his arms. "I don't want to go alone, Suri," he said, his words muffled against his sleeve.
There it was. Suri leaned forward and put her arms around Jin. He was quiet. "She's wrong, Kuna," Suri said very quietly. Jin's shoulders finally heaved and he began to cry, reaching out to properly wrap his arms around Surrender. He buried his face against her neck and clung to her urgently. She could feel his tears against her skin and she pulled her arms tightly around him, running her hand over his back comfortingly. She may cry a little later, she would at least do so at the airport as he left, but now wasn't the time. There was more pain there than the sadness of leaving.