Jo kicks at the bed, and Sam flinches a little, though when he sees her looking almost guilty for it he smiles and does his best to look like he totally wasn’t bothered by it at all in the first place. He isn’t sure if it was even his head that made him flinch or if it was just the uneasy skittishness that’s apparenly taken over. Apparently being kidnapped and blindfolded and cut on and half-starved and dehydrated and threatened and having some random ritual done to him has made him a little uneasy.
>>“Weird... but, I mean, this whole thing's been weird. He never told me about you guys but my mom knew and he disappeared for seven years and then showed up again just when this whole thing happened. It's just...really fuckin' weird.” He nods in agreement. He doesn’t really get it, hasn’t had time to really think over the whole secret-keeping issue and just why they showed up when they did just in time for Gordon to grab them or anything else. He doesn’t have the energy to really contemplate it right now, though, either.
>>“He's probably not going to explain it to any of us is he? I know my mom won't.”
“...probably not, no.” John Winchester doesn’t explain things, not unless he thinks it’s important enough that they need to know it - and even then he’ll probably just tell you the bare minimum and move on. Yet he expects them to tell him every minute detail about things - Sam knows for a fact that it won’t be too long before Dad’s demanding to hear the whole story of what happened...
>>“You ever think about just taking off?” - he glances up, raises his eyebrows a little; it’s not that he’s never thought about it (he sent in applications for colleges and financial aid just earlier this week, feels like months ago, feels like another life), but he’s never seriously considered just going, permission or not - it had always been tied in with if they let me and clouded over with knowing they never would... and she’s talking like it’s just an obvious plan, some simple solution to his problems.
>>“I mean, now is obviously...probably not the best time to go wandering around by yourself... but, you know... I'm out of here the second I have enough for a car or turn eighteen, this time next year, at the latest, I'll be hunting. When whatever the hell is wrong with Gordon gets taken care of maybe you can...”
Unless there isn’t anything wrong with him, he thinks, curling his fingers into the blanket and tugging it closer, even though the chilled feeling that washes over him has nothing to do with actual cold.
>>“What do you want to do, you know, if you could do anything, anyway?”
“I’d finish school, go to college. Find a place to live, you know, something permanent... safe.” It feels sort of nice to say it, but it’s also really weird telling her these things - he doesn’t even tell Dean this stuff, not really. Sure, Dean probably knows it, he’s probably said it without saying it, or during fights, but it’s never been just... saying it like this. Then again, Dean’s never asked, Dad’s never asked - everyone just assumes he’ll just keep hunting forever. It doesn’t matter what he wants.
Unless.... unless he does what she’s saying. Run away. Just go.