Fantasy# 2 for angela_snape Title: A Series of Unfortunate Misunderstandings Author:eeyore9990 Recipient:angela_snape Pairing: Charlie/Draco, Neville/Bill Rating: PG Word Count: 3900 Summary: Being a healthy thirty-something gay wizard employed at Hogwarts is enough to give Charlie blue balls when he realises that the only two shaggable men in a fifty mile radius are... shagging each other. Disclaimer: JKR owns my soul everything you see here. Highlight for Warnings: *None* AN: Deepest thanks to (Awesome Beta) for turning my wreck into a readable fic. :D angela_snape, you are such an incredible friend and person. I sincerely hope you enjoy this fic!
A Series of Unfortunate Misunderstandings
"Professor Weasley?"
Charlie turned to the girl in Hufflepuff robes--Christ, why did he always forget their names?--and smiled, pleased that he still had the ability to disarm a girl with that alone. "Yes?"
She blinked, her mouth a bit slack as she stared at him, before her friend elbowed her in the ribs, jerking her back to the present. "Um..." She dragged her attention onto the Niffler in front of her for a long moment before the light of remembrance broke across her features. "Oh! Yes! I... is my Niffler supposed to do that, sir?"
Charlie looked down at the furry little creature and forced a cough to cover up the laugh that wanted to break free. "Erm, no. Let me get you another one. This one appears... a bit off." Picking up the Niffler, Charlie allowed it to burrow into his shirt, pulling a face when it made small noises as it rubbed against him. "Here now," he whispered, glancing around to make sure that the rest of his students were busy with their own projects and were not paying any attention to him. "I realise you're a bit horny, but I'm not the one for you." Giving the Niffler a brisk pat, Charlie dumped it into the cage with the other two that were currently in heat, and pulled yet another from the main pen.
As he turned back to the third year class, a spot of colour near the castle caught his eye, and Charlie looked up. He took a moment to appreciate the way Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts' Potions Professor, moved before he shook his head and went back to teaching.
He couldn't help but notice, though, even as he gave his standard lecture about Nifflers to the students, that Malfoy was heading for the greenhouses. Again.
"So.... Draco Malfoy?"
Neville Longbottom looked up from his paperwork to see Charlie standing in the doorway of his office and grinned. "Yeah, he's great."
Charlie nodded slowly, walking around the room and touching plants here and there, avoiding Neville's gaze as he did so. Damn. "It surprised me," he said with a shrug.
The silence stretched out for long enough that Charlie instinctively turned toward Neville to see a sad expression on his face. "The war was a long time ago. Give him a chance."
Flopping down in the chair across from Neville's desk, Charlie immediately began drumming his fingers on the arms of it. "Sure. I mean, if you can..." He watched Neville closely, his last bit of hope dwindling when he saw the soft, sappy smile on Neville's face.
"Once you get past the pratty exterior, he's really funny and... charming."
Stifling a sigh, Charlie conceded defeat. Only love could get someone like Neville Longbottom to use a word like 'charming.'
"Professor Weasley!"
Turning from spreading thestral dung over the pumpkins, Charlie saw Draco Malfoy hurrying toward him. He leaned on his rake, enjoying the view as long as possible. Malfoy might be Neville's, but that didn't mean Charlie couldn't appreciate the cut of Malfoy's robes.
Charlie snorted.
Yeah, it was Malfoy's robes he appreciated. He filed that excuse away for the day he was caught out appreciating a friend's man.
Slowing as he approached Charlie, Malfoy smoothed a hand through his hair in what would have been a nervous gesture on anyone else, before he said, "Did you get my note?"
Eyebrows raised, Charlie thought about the pile of scrolls on his table then shook his head. "Nope, can't say I did."
"Blast. I needed those vines for my NEWT-level students."
Charlie focused on raking the dung out, using it as an excuse to drag his eyes away from Malfoy's lips when he started biting them. Fucking hell. "Vines?" he asked, grimacing as his voice came out rough.
"Mmm."
For fuck's sake, the last thing Charlie's far-too-interested cock needed to hear was Malfoy make a noise that sounded like a moan. He clenched his teeth before asking, "If you need vines, why didn't you get them from Neville?"
"Why would he take up the room in the greenhouses with a vine that grows naturally in the Forest?"
"Good question," Charlie said, rolling his eyes at Malfoy's uppity tone.
"Well, when you've finished making the place smell utterly foul, here's the vine I need. Ten metres' worth."
Charlie froze in his raking when Malfoy's hand slid into his pocket. He whipped around, only to see Malfoy walking quickly away. Thrusting his hand into his pocket, his fingers brushed against a scrap of parchment. Charlie narrowed his eyes and glared at Malfoy's retreating backside.
What a shame that such a fine arse belonged to such an... arse.
"Tell your boyfriend that if he needs ingredients for his potions classes to get them himself," Charlie said, as he pulled out the empty chair beside Neville at dinner that evening.
"My boyfriend?" Neville asked, blinking at him. "Oh... you mean Draco?"
Charlie grunted as he took his seat and began loading his plate. "Yeah. Make sure he understands I'm no one's servant." The sensation of eyes boring through him made Charlie sigh and turn to Neville. "What?"
"He went to you for ingredients?"
"Said it wasn't something you kept in the greenhouses." Charlie shrugged.
"The only plants not in my greenhouses are... Oh, hell."
Mouth full, Charlie raised his eyebrows.
"He needed something out of the Forest, didn't he?" At Charlie's nod, Neville swore softly, his brow creasing as he looked down the table at Malfoy. "I didn't think to tell you; after Hagrid left, I mean. It's just something we've always done without saying anything, you know?"
Charlie swallowed his food, shaking his head. "What?"
"Draco is... well, he hates the Forest. Won't go in it. The first time he did, he saw Voldemort. The second time he was attacked by a Hippogriff." Neville spread his hands helplessly. "I can't really blame him for how he feels, you know?"
"It's amazing to me that you buy that. Come on, Neville, I know you like the guy, but think about it. The Great Noseless One lived in the prat's house for something like a year, right?" Neville pursed his lips, looking away. He was quiet long enough that it played on Charlie's conscience and prompted him to add, "Eh, sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, knowing how you feel about him."
"It's not my story to tell," Neville said quietly, his gaze swinging back to Charlie. "But give Draco a break, all right? Think about something. He lives here. The Malfoys are rich as anything, but he lives here. Think about what that means."
The remainder of their meal was quiet as Charlie heeded Neville's request.
Charlie knocked lightly on Malfoy's open classroom door before he stepped inside. Lifting a coil of vine from his shoulder, Charlie raised an eyebrow at him, then set it carefully on the worktable he motioned toward. Charlie wandered around the room, slowly making his way toward Malfoy, grinning when he heard Malfoy counting under his breath as he slowly twirled a stirring rod around a cauldron. Not wanting to be responsible for making Malfoy lose count, he leaned a hip against the table and simply waited.
Finally, Malfoy lifted the stirring rod from the potion, extinguished the flame under the cauldron, and turned to Charlie with a rather weary-looking smile. "Thank you."
Charlie cocked his head to one side. "For what?"
"The vines. I... It never occurred to me that Hagrid wouldn't have told you--" Malfoy bit his words off, literally. His teeth pressed harshly into his bottom lip as he broke eye contact.
"Wouldn't have told me that you don't like the Forest? Can't say I blame you." Charlie shrugged. "Its beauty can't compete with the foul creatures that live inside it."
Malfoy's eyelids flickered--just once--before he met Charlie's gaze again. Finally releasing his lip, he sighed. "It's a bit more than that, but... essentially, yes. If you're too busy to search out those ingredients for me, however, I... I can do it." His last words were mumbled in a rush.
Fascinated, Charlie watched as Draco's pupils dilated in reaction to the fear that drained his cheeks of colour. "Hey, don't worry about it," Charlie murmured, reaching out to run a comforting hand down Malfoy's arm. "I'm out there everyday anyway, feeding the Thestrals. It's no problem."
Lips twitching upward at the corners, Malfoy nodded. "If you weren't a Weasley, I'd kiss you!"
"Don't let that stand in your way." Charlie was already leaning forward, hand wrapping around Malfoy's arm where he'd been stroking it, eyes locked on Malfoy's reddened lower lip when his conscience whispered to him.
"Oh, shit. Fuck." Releasing Malfoy, Charlie leapt backward, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Malfoy. Damn. I didn't mean... Look. Forget what just happened, okay? I would never want to... fuck." Seeing the look of complete bewilderment on Malfoy's face, Charlie laughed at himself, the sound completely humorless. "And you have no idea what I'm talking about. Brilliant. I'll just be going now."
With a shake of his head, Charlie turned on his heel and escaped as fast as his feet could carry him.
"Professor Weasley!"
Charlie looked up to see the Headmistress framed in the doorway to the teacher's lounge and smiled at her. "Still catches me off guard when you call me that," he said, standing politely.
Her lips curled up slightly, and she inclined her head. "It takes everyone a bit of getting used to. As your former Head of House, I must say that it continues to catch me a bit off guard that I have reason to call you that. I never imagined, even when I sent my note, that you'd leave your dragons to come and teach here."
With a shrug, Charlie settled back into his chair as soon as Professor McGonagall had seated herself. He rolled back his shirt sleeves, displaying the assortment of burn scars he'd gained in his former profession. "There's a reason there are no middle-aged dragon keepers."
"Oh, pish. You're hardly middle-aged. Why, if that were true, I'd be horribly old."
He lifted his cup of tea, saluting her. "I cannot imagine such a day will ever arrive."
She smirked and patted her bun. "Not as long as there are charms to prevent it, at any rate."
Charlie choked on the sip of tea he'd been in the process of swallowing. After several moments of coughing and gasping, he turned to her and said, "Thanks for that."
She inclined her head, then frowned. "I'm surprised to see you here, actually."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Bill has arrived. I was certain you'd wish to spend your free time with him."
"What? Already? I thought he said he was portkeying in tomorrow!"
"Well, don't stand on ceremony, Charles. Go visit with your brother. I'll see you at dinner."
Grabbing up her hand, he pressed a courtly kiss to the back of it before jogging from the room in search of his wayward eldest sibling.
Charlie searched everywhere for Bill, to no avail. He wasn't in the Great Hall, nor in the rooms he'd been assigned. He wasn't down by the lake or out in Hagrid's hut--now Charlie's, but he had no illusions; his little house on the grounds would always and forever be Hagrid's--he wasn't on top of the Astronomy tower or on the Quidditch pitch. As a last resort, Charlie even checked the library, not even surprised when he failed to find Bill there.
Finally, out of ideas and out of breath, Charlie sought out Professor McGonagall. "Are you sure?"
McGonagall looked up from her papers and blinked at him. "Am I certain of what?"
"That Bill's here. I can't find him anywhere."
McGonagall's lips tightened for a moment before she sighed and closed her eyes. Charlie felt a low hum of magic before she opened them again and said, "Did you look in Greenhouse One?"
Charlie opened his mouth to reply, only to snap it shut again with a clack of his teeth. "The greenhouses? Bill? In the greenhouses?" He tilted his head, thinking about the incongruity of his brother in a greenhouse before he shrugged and turned on his heel. Remembering something, he leaned backward to peek around the doorway and said, "Thank you. You've saved me."
"More than you know," McGonagall said, raising her cup of tea to him.
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing. Do go find your brother. And tell Mr Longbottom, when you see him, not to forget our four o'clock meeting."
"Uh. Sure."
Shaking his head and straightening, Charlie wondering if it was the office of Headmaster that made people barmy as he strode quickly through the castle and out onto the grounds. He made it to Greenhouse One in no time, and pulled open the door without bothering to knock. He regretted that decision when he walked in on his brother mid-snog.
"Bill!" Shocked, he looked at the legs wrapped around his brother's waist and, recognising the boots, said, "Neville?"
"Charlie?" Bill turned, his lips dark red and shiny, and behind his back Charlie could see Neville hastily rebuttoning his shirt. "What are you doing here?"
"I work here," Charlie said, teeth clenched as the full import of what he was seeing washed over him. "God, did it not occur to you that anyone could have seen the two of you? Glass is rather reknowned for its transparent qualities!"
Neville pushed himself off the table he'd been sitting on, running one hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I didn't think--"
"No, of course not! Not about the glass and definitely not about the fact that--" He bit his words off, shaking his head as his life-long policy of keeping his nose out of other people's business ran into the brick wall that was the moral code his mother had instilled in him from... birth, practically. "You know what? Forget it. Just. I have to say, Neville. If I had to make a list of the people I'd suspect of doing something like this, you'd have been on the bottom of it. Watch yourself with this one, bro."
Face darkening with anger, Bill stepped toward Charlie, his hands fisted at his sides. "What are you trying to say?"
"To you? Nothing. Nothing at all."
Shooting one last, disgusted look at Neville, Charlie turned to leave.
"Wait!" At Neville's shout, Charlie paused at the door. "What's going on?" Neville asked. "Is there something I should know?"
Neville's bewildered tone was the final straw. Charlie slowly spun, a look of utter disbelief on his face. "Oh, you're going to play the innocent now? I can't believe you'd do this, Neville. I really can't."
"Do what? I mean, I'm sorry I didn't consider the students, but as far as I know, none of them are even scheduled to be on this side of the castle right now. I have a free period... which you should know, as your schedule is the same. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my relationship with Bill, but we decided to give it a bit more time before breaking it to your family."
"Relationship? It's a relationship now? And what about Malfoy, eh?"
"Malfoy? You mean Draco? What about him?"
"He might be a spoiled little prat, but he certainly doesn't deserve this."
"Deserve what? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to... Draco?"
Whirling, Charlie saw Draco standing just behind him, eyes flickering around the room before landing on him. Giving them a stiff nod, Malfoy said, "Another time, perhaps?" and left.
"Fuck!" Charlie whispered. "See what you did?" he demanded of Bill.
"What I did? I'm not the one who just called him a spoiled little prat. What the hell, Charlie? I thought you'd got beyond all that by now. And it's not as if you really knew him, back then."
"You know, Draco's not that bad, Charlie," Neville said, and Charlie's nostrils flared with anger when he wrapped his arm around Bill's waist. "You should give him a chance before you make up your mind."
"Give him a chance? Oh, that's rich, Neville. You're offering your boyfriend to me now that you've decided you no longer want him?"
Neville's lips parted, but no sound came out. He stood there, blinking at Charlie for a long moment before his lips curved up and he started laughing. "Boyfriend?" Biting his bottom lip, he turned to Bill and said, "Is there something I should know about you and Charlie?"
Bill started chuckling as well, angering Charlie further. "Well, you know Mum did make us share a room when we were kids."
"Should I leave the two of you alone?" Neville fluttered his eyelashes at Bill jokingly.
"What are you two on about?" Charlie asked, not quite shouting. He knew he'd missed something in this conversation, and was struggling to catch up.
Neville stepped forward, one hand going to Charlie's shoulder as he said quietly, "Draco is not my boyfriend, Charlie. He's just a friend. A good friend, hopefully."
Charlie staggered as the world--and his anger--deflated in a rush. "What?"
"He's not my boyfriend."
"But you... I mean. You told me he was. No, wait, he told me... No, wait. Well, fuck."
"Let me guess," Bill said, clapping Charlie on the back. "You're an arse? Who jumps to conclusions?"
Charlie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, apparently."
"So...?"
"So, what?" Seeing the expectant look on Bill's face, Charlie flushed and said, "Oh, yeah. Sorry. I, uh, apologise for thinking you were a philandering pig, Neville."
"And me?"
"Well, as I did share a room with you for years, I know you're a pig," Charlie said, grinning.
"Yeah, yeah."
"It's good to see you, Bill." The two briefly hugged before Charlie pushed Bill toward Neville. "Now, don't forget the privacy spells this time."
"Where are you going?"
"To find Malfoy, of course," Charlie said, a smile on his face and a spring in his step.
Charlie settled into the chair across from Malfoy's desk, waiting for any sort of acknowledgment. When the silence stretched, broken only by the sound of Malfoy's quill scratching almost angrily across parchment, Charlie said, "So. I just found out something interesting."
"Oh? Let me guess. You discovered that it's difficult to see when your head is stuck up your arse." Scritch. Scritch. Scratch.
Charlie winced. "Exactly how long were you standing there?"
"Long enough to know your opinion of me."
Drumming his fingers on his leg, Charlie sat forward and said, "That's not really... I mean. Fuck. I was angry when I said that."
"Ah."
"Look, I don't really think you're a prat."
"No, I believe your words were 'a spoiled little prat.'"
Charlie smiled weakly. "Well, at least I didn't say you were a giant prat." At Malfoy's disbelieving look, Charlie pulled a face and said, "Yeah, sorry. Not funny." He scratched at the back of his neck and said, "I walked in on Bill and Neville... you know. Snogging."
"If you're going to indulge in idle gossip, please do so elsewhere."
"Actually, this isn't idle gossip. I'm trying to explain why I--"
Letting out a long, irritated sigh, Malfoy placed his quill in its holder and folded his hands on top of his papers. When Charlie stared at him quizzically, Malfoy smiled brightly--and insincerely--and said, "No, no, do go on. I'm not at all busy. It would make me ever so happy to hear you natter on for the next several hours."
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "Watch it, before you do become a giant prat." Malfoy simply lifted one eyebrow, forcing Charlie to blurt out, "Look, I thought you were fucking Neville."
Malfoy's mouth dropped open in shock. "You thought I... what?"
"I thought the two of you were involved. So when I walked in and caught Bill with his tongue down Neville's throat, I was a bit upset. With Bill, yes, but especially with Neville. Because I thought he was cheating on you."
"And that led you to you publicly describing me as a spoiled little prat why exactly?"
"Uh, well. Habit? No, wait. Don't... I'm sorry, okay? Why don't we start over?"
"You're an arse."
"You've been talking to Bill, haven't you?" Charlie grinned when Malfoy's lips twitched and thrust his hand over the desk. "I mean it. Let's start over. I'll forget you called me an arse and you can forget I called you a prat."
"A spoiled, little--"
"Yes, all of it." Charlie rolled his eyes. "That's sort of the definition of starting over."
Pursing his lips, Malfoy considered Charlie for a long moment before he unfolded his hands and placed one inside Charlie's.
As Charlie tightened his hand around Malfoy's, he couldn't stop himself from saying, "I'm really glad you're not involved with Neville."
Malfoy stiffened and tried to take his hand back, but Charlie held tight to it. "Why? You think I'm not good enough?"
"Nah. It'd just make it really awkward when I ask you to dinner tonight if you were."
"Leaving aside the fact that we eat together at every meal, what makes you think I want to go to dinner with you?" His words were cool, but Charlie saw exactly what he'd been hoping to see in Malfoy's eyes. Interest.
Charlie stood and crossed around the desk, his hold on Malfoy's hand forcing Malfoy to turn toward him or end up with a dislocated arm. Charlie didn't say anything, just stared at Malfoy until he made a face and stood.
Damn. He'd forgotten Malfoy was several inches taller than him. Oh, well. Nothing for it but to proceed as planned.
Charlie stepped forward into Malfoy's personal space, causing Malfoy to back away. Another step and another and he had Malfoy backed against a wall. When his body was flush against Malfoy's, he heard, "What exactly are you doing?"
"Annual oral exam," Charlie replied, feeling cheeky. Amazingly, Malfoy wasn't putting forth any protest, real or implied. When Charlie felt a hand settle against his hip, he grinned and pulled Malfoy's head down to his own.
Malfoy's lips were warm and moist and Charlie sighed his approval against them before nibbling on Malfoy's slightly full bottom lip. Charlie slid a hand up into Malfoy's short hair, fingers clenching in the fine strands as he used his hold to urge Malfoy to tilt his head for greater access. Malfoy groaned and parted his lips, his grip on Charlie's hip tightening as his other hand slid down Charlie's back and onto his arse, tugging Charlie closer. The kiss went from slow and lazy to desperate in the space of a heartbeat. Tongues slid against each other and teeth got in the way and Charlie had half the placket of buttons down Malfoy's robes undone before Malfoy broke the kiss on a moan of pure lust.
"God, fuck."
Charlie, mouth latched to the place just below Malfoy's jaw, mumbled, "Dinner first."
A polite cough caused Charlie to tilt his head enough to see Bill standing in the doorway, a grin stretching his lips. Neville peeked out from behind him and grabbed the door. Charlie heard Bill's whispered, "Privacy spells!" just before the door closed.
Neither Charlie nor Draco paid them any mind, however, already lost in another kiss.