shineonyou (shineonyou) wrote in fall_down_the, @ 2017-06-05 18:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | alistair koon, lavinia krier, ~time: may 29th - june 4th |
Weakness
Who: Lavinia and Alistair
What: Moment of weakness
When: Thursday June 1st - Before dawn
Where: Mouse's house
Status: Closed
The weekend. That wasn't so far away. Just a few more days and things would settle in Starwater. There would be a familiar presence to help combat this ominous feeling that she couldn't shake. Reassuring words to urge her when she felt like it would be far easier to simply not care again. It had only been two days but already Lavinia found herself putting on those masks more and more. A sweet smile. A charming tone. Coy words and tiny flirtations. Small acts but they were false. She spoke that she was comfortable here or had no need of anything but it was a lie. She wasn't comfortable there. She hadn't been able to sleep since she arrived. Spending the night hours walking the clearing by the mines. Walking for hours on end with Beast sometimes slinking along behind her like she didn't notice him. She couldn't settle there. She tried. Tried to throw herself into the work and ignore every tiny strange shadow. There were certain rooms she avoided outright and while she'd sought to make herself go into them, she hadn't been able to. She found excuse. Reasons to avoid. A task or need that sent her away again. More at the mines than anywhere else. There even, when the sky had gone black and the workers had fled out of the mine. All her charm hadn't been enough to convince them that everything was fine. Whispers began of it being bad omen and fear ran rampant. Terror that another quake would hit when they were all inside. That the cave would crumble, that the walls would give in. She could have put on a bitterly cruel mask and demanded they all go back to work. Could have scoffed at their fear and pushed them back into the cave. But she hadn't. She'd told them all to go home. Take the day. Return tomorrow with assurances that the dark wasn't omen to another quake. Was it? Wasn't it? She couldn't say. Mouse's words didn't bring reassurance. Just words that she'd already guessed at our knew. Some explanation to brush it all away. Much like her explanations for the house itself. Words of when he'd arrive were accepted with false smile and assurances that she'd be fine. She'd endured worse of course. She knew that. It was just a house. A house whose halls she once used to walk. A place that used to have different families and faces walking through it but it was still just walls. There was nothing lurking over her shoulder. No dark presence. It was simply a house. One that reminded her of her past too much. Simple really. Memories of mother and father that she didn't want to think of. Always explaining everything away. Hiding it. Burying it. Lavinia went to sleep that night telling herself tomorrow would be better. She laid down in the unfamiliar bed surrounded by things that were both hers and not. A room rearranged and cleansed of the previous owners but none of it felt like hers. Not really. Not like Mouse's house had. Strange, considering almost nothing of her own had really been there. It had been his space that she'd just forcefully come to occupy. Light sleep found her. A tossing and turning in the bed. Tangling herself in soft sheets. Overheating in a room with cool breeze running through it. She laid for hours staring at the ceiling where it seemed the shadows crept and crawled. Where outside a mountain animal growled and the flap of large bird wings echoed. Sometime just after midnight Lavinia sat up in the bed with a soft growl parting her lips. Hands dragged back through her slightly damp hair. Too heated still, no matter the breeze that still came in through the large opening windows. Sighing heavy, she slowly untangled herself from the bed and padded barefoot to the bathroom. Cold water was splashed on her face. Once...twice...hands pulled back through her hair once more as she stared into the mirror. Her eyes looked a little too wide. Her skin was still heated and pink. She didn't like the way it seemed as though she'd been running from something all night rather than sleeping. Her breathing come uneven as she again splashed water to her face. A look away as the cold water hit her features. A glance back up to that mirror to see the twisted features of her mothers disapproving stare in the reflection. Her eyes narrowed and lips sneering. Mouth parting like her hateful words were making her foam at the mouth. Lavinia swung around with a sneer to her own lips. Ready and prepared to scream for the woman to get out of here.... ...there was nothing there when she turned. Just the darkness of the bedroom just beyond the bathroom door. Just the dark. She was losing it. What other explanation was there, to seeing things? Lavinia dragged her hands against her face and took a breath. Silently she padded back into the room. Going to her closet and tugging on one of her many long jackets. Dark heeled boots were pulled on and despite Lavinia's pristine and perfect ways she did not bother to look in the mirror again. She didn't care what she looked like. Her steps led her quickly from the manor and out into the darkness of the night. To the stables where Beast instantly rose his head the moment she approached. She laid her body against his thick fur and curled her fingers into it. Debating for too long a time, if this was familiarity enough. If she could just curl up here and find some brief tiny bit of sleep. Beast nudged her and huffed. "I should stay right here." she spoke, laying her head against the creatures chest. Rising and falling with his deep breaths. Another huff and nudge. She didn't go where she wanted to go because she felt weak for it. Weak and silly. Starwater was simply unfamiliar to her. Feeling strange in the fact that she knew it so well and yet not at all. All of this was stupid. She might have been able to believe that better, if she wasn't going two days of barely any sleep sleep. Sighing bitterly at herself for being so pathetic, Lavinia climbed onto Beast's back and urged him onto the path, leading him away from Starwater to the main road. Directing him back towards the Neutral lands. For a time, too long maybe, she just had him run. Denying that urge to go where she wanted to go. Eventually Beast made the choice for her, not turning when she urged and continuing in run further into the neutral lands. It was still dark but just barely when she got there. Mouse's key fished from her jacket pocket. Quietly she slid off of Beast and directed him to roam as she made her way to Mouse's door. Unlocking it and quickly slipping inside. She had no way of knowing if he was home, or sleeping, but with the late hour she thought he had to be or had just stayed at the library all night. Almost holding her breath, she crept into his room.... |