"Well, no. I suppose they aren't. I just- it's tiring. It's been nearly four years with no change and- I don't know. I don't want any of that. You've seen the boys that come around to meet us. They're- they're awful, and I swear, some of them have softer hands than I do! I can't be happy with what my mother wants- I just- I don't see how I can be. It's not- it's not for me, and I want- I want to ride horses and be free to write my stories and- and really live, and to love-" She broke off, blushing and she looked down to her lap again. "Forgive me. I'm rambling, and I'm- it's not that I'm upset with my family or anything, and I should be grateful, I suppose, but I'm just- I wish every day could be like this. Just- just you and me..."