red macintyre . (life_after) wrote in exsanguious, @ 2015-09-05 21:45:00 |
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Outside the thick, heavy blackout curtains that covered Red's windows, the afternoon sun burned hot and clear. She could feel it, the warmth of it seeping through the fabric, even though the light was completely blocked out. She could touch her hand to the curtain and imagine feeling the sun on her skin again. Sometimes, on days when she couldn't sleep and couldn't keep herself distracted, she did. Most days she didn't. She reminded herself of all the things she had gained in exchange for the sun on her skin and the breath in her lungs, the years of life after death she would never have had as a living Slayer, and she left the curtain alone. Those days were better.
Today, though, the feel of sunshine through the protective barrier of cloth wasn't enough. She needed to see it, needed nothing between herself and the sun but air, and the door to her apartment stood open and forgotten behind her as she made her way barefoot down the hall and onto the stairs. It had been so long, she had been in the dark for so long. Why had she been in the dark for so long? Red could feel the pressure of need on her chest, and by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs and pushed the door open, just seeing the sun wasn't enough anymore. She needed to feel it. Her skin was pale and cold, and she hadn't felt the absence of the sun so strongly in more than a decade, and she couldn't remember why she had stayed away from it all that time.
Red padded across the lobby of her apartment building, drawing surprised glances from neighbors who had never seen her out during the day before, and the sun outside the glass doors was brilliant and beautiful and everything she'd been missing. Chills ran down her spine as she pushed the doors open and stepped out into the thin strip of shadow that covered the sidewalk. It was so close now. It was so close, and she needed it so much. Her fingers were trembling as she reached out a hand toward the edge of the shadow, through it, past it, into the light.
Transfixed, her thoughts too full of this sudden and overwhelming need to think of anything else, she barely even noticed the smoke as her fingers started to burn.