InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Let them eat cake"

James "Prongs" Potter (_cervus_) wrote in expresslogs,
@ 2012-02-21 19:36:00

Entry tags:

{james potter, {sirius black

Who: Sirius Black and James Potter
What: BFF Reunion!!
When: Straight after Sirius returns to the train.
Where: Second dining car.
Status/Warnings: Medium. Probably swearing.

James had been anxious to see Sirius since he'd first arrived on the train, but if Sirius decided to go off-map there was pretty much no hope in getting hold of him. Perhaps if they'd been at home, James might have been able to dig him out, but he didn't know anything about the city the train was currently stuck in besides what he'd been able to learn on his short walks, which he took to clear his head. After all, as if kidnapping hadn't been enough, finng out you had ten months to live didn't make anything any easier.

Now he was sat at one of the tables, staring out the window at the platform as he waited for Sirius. For perhaps the first time he could remember, he was actually nervous to see his best friend. Lily had told him what had happened to Sirius, and it wasn't something he could put out of his mind easily. He rather wished he could, because thinking about Pads being stuck in Azkaban year after year made his stomach churn unpleasantly. He wasn't looking forward to seeing what that place had done to him.

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nicedoggy
2012-02-22 12:45 am UTC (link)

When Sirius had said 'older,' he'd meant it. Not gray-at-the-temples old, not 'carrying a cane' old, but visibly aged past the few golden years of Hogwarts and just beyond. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, given Azkaban, but he was thin. He'd put on a little weight while onboard the Abduction Express, in spite of the rationing, but then the month of murders and shadows had taken that all back off. The crazy-man hair and stink of the prison were gone, leaving a vague disreputable scruffiness behind. He had more beard and less hair that he'd preferred in his early twenties, but at least he looked as if he practiced regular hygiene. That alone was a step up from his first train-encounter with Lily.

He also looked a little hung-over. That, at least, was fairly normal - like a night on the town before the world had gone to hell and the war had claimed those dearest to Sirius.

Although he wasn't precisely running, there was definitely some haste to the footsteps that carried the now-older wizard into the car where his friend was seated. He'd been steeling himself the whole way: don't crack up. Don't tear up, don't stop walking, don't stare, and absolutely don't say a word about the deaths. He'd made that mistake with Lily and, while he wouldn't take back giving her the information he'd passed along, he might have changed the manner in which he'd done it.

Sirius wanted to say something like 'prat, of COURSE you'd wait to make your entrance until it would have the biggest impact' but when he laid eyes on his best friend, the words wouldn't come out. In lieu of sarcasm, there'd be an attempt at a hug, seated James or not.

"It's about ruddy time," Sirius grumbled, hoping that the tightness in his throat came off as a growl and not sorrow.

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_cervus_
2012-02-22 01:10 am UTC (link)

Sirius had been the closest thing to a brother that James had ever had. Ever since that first train ride to Hogwarts a decade ago, they'd been more or less attached at the hip. Of course things had been different lately, with the war and Harry and everything, but Sirius had still always been there. Until, apparently, James had managed to arse everything up by picking the wrong friend to count on.

James looked up sharply at the sound of someone entering the dining car, his stomach lurching. There he was. Sirius was thinner than he remembered, with more hair on his cheeks and less on his head. But it was around the eyes that James focused, and it was there that he noticed the most obvious change. Still, he couldn't help the smile that cracked his features at the sight of the other man.

James bounded to his feet and hugged his friend tightly, hands clenching in Sirius' shirt. "I'm fashionably late, is all," he announced as he pulled back. "Party won't start without me, will it?" James' cockiness these days was mostly joking, in comparison the the huge ego he'd boasted back at school. He tilted his head, narrowing hazel eyes behind his glasses as he looked Sirius over. "You okay?"

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nicedoggy
2012-02-22 02:07 am UTC (link)

The return grin was genuine - Sirius had never in his life been so glad to see anyone. "Right. Party might start without you, but you know the first hour is the dull bit. You just skipped ahead to the interesting part." The smile remained afterward, but eye contact broke about the time James asked if he were alright.

He lied smoothly otherwise, with a careless shrug of his shoulders. "Shouldn't have been out so late last night, but I'm fine."

The next move was predictable. Sirius turned the conversation back around and asked a question of James. "So you've come across Lily? I've been trying to keep an eye - not that she needs it, but I feel responsible anyway, and--" Right. So much for casual. And I want you both to be safe was not where he'd intended for things to go, but he'd come around to it anyway.

"-- you're here now, so I'll retire to watchdog from guard dog. Are you okay? Completely insane, this train. It's a lot to process, even in four days."

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_cervus_
2012-02-23 12:32 am UTC (link)

James frowned at Sirius as he claimed he was fine, but didn't push it. Yet. Give it ten minutes and he'd badger his best mate for the truth if it hadn't come out. After all, they could usually read each other like a book - or they had been able to, back at home. Still, James might be able to guess what was bothering the other man, thinking about what it was Lily had told him when he'd first arrived, so he let Sirius swing the conversation in the direction he wanted.

James slid back into his seat as Sirius babbled on, pushing the one opposite him out with one foot as he slouched casually back. "Yeah. Lily was the first person I found here." He paused. "Thanks for looking out for her." James offered Sirius a tired smile and lifted a hand to run it through his thick dark hair, leaving it stood on end rather ridiculously.

"Tell me about it," he smiled. "It was Christmas when I arrived. 1980." The smile that had cracked James' features so easily fell away, and he bit down on his bottom lip for a moment, hazel stare fixing intently on Sirius' face. How to say this? In the end James decided to go with 'straight and to the point'.

"Lily told me. About... everything."

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nicedoggy
2012-02-23 01:40 am UTC (link)

Well. That hadn't taken long. Although Sirius blinked in response, there was no surprise on his face. Absolutely none. He'd expected Lily to tell James the story, just as he'd expected that eventually he'd be confronted about it. He'd have done the same if the situation were reversed. That didn't mean he was ready. Sirius sighed and dropped rather than sat in a chair - it was one great fluid motion, a plummeting from feet to seat.

"I'm sorry." Apologies came easier now than they had in school. He had enough honor to give them when they were owed and, as a proper adult and not a schoolboy, enough sense to realize that he owed them frequently. What he owned James went beyond apology. "It was my idea, all of it. I thought I was being so clever, that I'd be a better decoy than a secret keeper, because who would expect--"

Who would expect Peter, really? Sirius, like everyone else, had underestimated old Wormtail. He could regret his arrogance, even if he couldn't quite shed it. "Bloody ego; and then I convinced you, and of course you convinced Lily, and that was that. It's my fault."

Sirius didn't get outwardly emotional. He'd been there with Lily, and now that the shock was over, he could square his shoulders and try to be matter-of-fact with James.

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_cervus_
2012-02-23 12:10 pm UTC (link)

"Don't be thick." James' words were out of his mouth almost before Sirius had finished speaking. Perhaps it was an example of incredible double-standards, as if someone else had been involved James might have managed to let them blame themselves. But not Sirius. James shook his head, the mess he'd created of his hair bouncing almost comically.

"You didn't know," he said, firmly. "Neither of us did. Pete fucked us both over," his voice took on a bitter, angry overtone, and he had to look away for a second to stare at the platform outside the window. It was mad, really, to be talking about something that hadn't even happened to him like this. Perhaps if he'd lived through it it would be more difficult. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Peter, of all people, had been the one to play them all. Small, nervous little Pete... James bit down on the inside of his cheek for a second.

"They sent you to Azkaban!" The words exploded from him as he turned back to his friend. "What the hell? Are they all bloody insane? I'm sorry. I should have made sure... That's..." He trailed off, because he couldn't think of a word to describe what he wanted to say.

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nicedoggy
2012-02-24 01:28 am UTC (link)

"Old Wormtail did a brilliant job of framing me up. It looked as if I'd sold you and then murdered him as a finale. People were panicked and paranoid; I knew no one would believe me." Sirius shrugged. "You know what my family was like. One brother was already in with the Death Eaters. Was it such a stretch to believe the other would follow?"

He was still angry, of course. Immensely, deeply angry, but Sirius managed to exert a measure of control. The muscles in his jaw were clenched and he suddenly seemed to find a spot over James's shoulder very interesting, but he wasn't going to have an outburst. It wasn't about him, really. He wasn't the one who'd died.

"I used to think I'd give anything to have another go at it, and here we are. I don't know what this is all about, this train business, but if it gives us that chance? I'm not sorry I'm here."

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