Thalia Grace (wasatree) wrote in expresslogs, @ 2012-10-30 07:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | {luke castellan, {thalia grace |
WHO: Thalia Grace and Luke Castellan
WHAT: Luke and Thalia have a run-in with the Dementors, and realize they have a bigger problem on their hands
WHEN: October 30
WHERE: Train corridor
WARNINGS None
STATUS: Closed/Gdoc’ed
It was weird not having to go all the way down to the end of the train to get to her room. Thalia was more central now, but she had rather liked being on the end of the train. It was out of the way, mostly, and she got to do more walking. The problem with being stuck on a train was that she felt so caged. There was such a finite, limited space, and it drove Thalia mad.
A small chill went down her spine as she stepped into the next compartment. What if she were stuck here forever? There were chances to leave the train, yes, but those were few and far between, and the time off the train was far too short. What if they never got rescued? She’d heard that even people attempting to stay at the stops were dragged back in. What if she was stuck in this sardine can for the rest of her life? And for an immortal, it was a long, long time. Would she, after seeing Percy and Annabeth and Luke and even Nico age and die, get to a point where she would want to end her own life, if only to stop the loneliness?
She could imagine it now: never changing, never aging, while the people around her grew old and sick and died. She wouldn’t be able to bear it. She couldn’t. She should just stop it right there, just end it, and she wouldn’t have to go through that sorrow. How would she bear watching her friends die? How would she bear losing Luke again?
By the time the Dementor came into view, she was collapsed into a heap in the aisle, clutching one of her knives.
Luke was really starting to hate this train. First it kept them locked in, then it kept them locked out-- he didn't understand that world they'd been stuck in. It wasn't like anything he'd seen-- sure, there were talking animals and nature spirits and the like, but it wasn't familiar. He wondered if there was a chance they might stop back in his world, but then he realized that maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. What did he have left for him there? His mother was gone, his dad wouldn't pay attention to him, and he'd already severed all ties at Camp Halfblood, after everything he'd gone through. Here, at least, he had Thalia and Annabeth, and he knew they were- for the most part- safe and happy. Well, as happy as things could be while stuck on this moving box on wheels.
He was just thinking of going to visit Thalia when he felt the chill down his back. He suddenly wondered why he kept torturing himself like this, falling in love with a girl who could never love him back. Nevermind that even now she was immortal and he would continue to grow old. How stupid did it look to be falling for a girl who appeared, at most, fifteen? Would she still want him? Would she turn to someone else, someone who was immortal as well?
He had just stepped into the next box when he nearly tripped over her fallen form. "Thalia?"
He drew out Backbiter, hands wrapping around the hilt. He felt cold as he looked up and saw the strange creature. He felt suddenly depressed, and he wondered what good he'd be able to do.
“Luke!” Thalia looked up with a sob. How could he still be there, so healthy and young? In her mind, she’d seen him age and grow old and die. She’d even seen him fall in love with someone else, someone who would grow old with him, someone who had no oaths to stand in the way of love.
But here he was, standing before her with Backbiter, and...
...oh gods, Kronos. Was he Kronos again? Was that how he had stayed so young?
She quickly scrambled back, away from him and unwittingly towards the Dementor. “Get back,” she gasped. “Stay away from me, Titan.”
"Thalia, just- are you alright?" Luke felt flushed, and yet he was freezing at the same time. At her words, he blinked, surprised. Titan? Where? He wheeled around, and there was nothing there, nobody else, and as he looked back to Thalia, he realized she was talking to him. "Lia, it's me. Luke. I swear it. what's- what is that thing?" He'd never seen anything like it before.
For the first time, Thalia really noticed the presence of the Dementor. She didn’t know what it was, but instantly she knew that she wouldn't be able to defeat it. She was a horrible Hunter. She couldn’t defeat that monster, she couldn’t even keep her vow. She was falling in love with Luke all over again, and what use would she be to Artemis then?
A tiny bloom of warmth blossomed in her at the thought of love, and she regained just enough clarity to realize that they had to get out of there.
“Luke?” It was a question, both to get his attention and to confirm that it really was him. “We have to get out of here.”
Luke heard her voice, but he didn't turn from the creature as he stared at it. He wasn't worth her, didn't deserve her at all. As she spoke again he shook his head and turned, looking back to her. He smiled to see her truly there, and he held Backbiter down at his side as he reached for her hand. "I- hey. You're right. Can you stand?"
She took his hand immediately, and although the depression still gripped her, she was glad that she had him to hold onto. “Yeah,” she whispered, letting him help her to her feet. She clung onto him tightly as she backed up from the Dementor, until the door of the compartment was at her back. “Let’s go.”
Luke shrank Backbiter back down and tucked her away, his free hand moving to hold onto Thalia. He nodded, following her to the door and fumbling with it for a moment before it opened, swinging wide. He nearly fell over with her into the next car and he slammed the door shut behind them, feeling much warmer all of a sudden. "What in Hades' Underworld was that? I've never seen anything like it."
Thalia was shivering uncontrollably; she didn’t think she would ever be warm again. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, both to try to gain warmth from him and to assure herself that he was still there.
“I don’t know,” she said, teeth chattering slightly. “But it made me...Gods, Luke, I can’t lose you again.”
"You don't have to," Luke replied, his breathing unsteady. He leaned against the door, keeping his arms around Thalia. He was there. She was there. With him. "You won't, Lia, I swear it. I don't want to lose you, either." He pressed a kiss to her hair, holding her close.
But simply holding him wasn't enough right now, not when she'd just been forced to face the possibility of eternity without him. Even though it went against her vows, she leaned up and kissed him with a desperate hunger that had been building for weeks.
Luke wasn't an idiot-- as she kissed him, he was quick to return it, his own kiss as desperate and longing as hers. He tried to convey every feeling he had for her, knowing that if this was the only kiss they shared that she initiated, he wanted to make it memorable for the both of them. His hold on her tightened just slightly; not so much that she couldn't pull away, but enough that she knew he wanted this, wanted her here.
It didn't matter that they were still out in the corridor where anyone could find them. It didn't matter that she was a Maiden of the Hunt and sworn to chastity. All that matter in that moment was the thrilling feel of his arms around her and his lips on hers. She wanted this. She burned for this. She'd had a taste of it in Shanghai, but she'd been taken by surprise and still too confused to fully appreciate it. Now that she was the one who had started it, she knew she didn't want to stop.
But eventually they had to catch their breath, and even then she stayed close, with her head resting on his shoulder. "What are we going to do?" she whispered.
"I have no idea," Luke replied, breathless. He kept her close, and he pressed another kiss to her temple. "I- I love you, Lia. But I'm not- I can't ask you to break your vow. And I know it's probably not fair for me to say that, but you deserve to know." He sighed softly, closing his eyes. "I don't know what we can do."
Most girls would've been happy - thrilled, even - to hear a declaration of love, but it was much more complicated than that for Thalia. She'd taken a vow of chastity, to forsake romantics love, but at the moment she was feeling neither chaste nor wishing to forsake his love. She wanted him with a desire that she didn't know existed, and if she wasn't already in love with him, she was getting close.
But how could she betray her Oath? She'd taken it with full knowledge of what it entailed, so how could she go back on her word now?
"I wish so much I could be with you," she said desperately. "But my vow- I'm not an Oathbreaker. If I break my Oath...how could you trust me? How could anyone trust me?"
"I know you aren't. I don't want you to be. I can't come between you and the goddess." He was quiet, taking a careful breath. "I'm not going to ask anything of you. I just..you needed to know, too. Just..let me love you and you don't have to say or do anything in return."
Thalia had already been on the precipice, but with those selfless words and the absolute sincerity behind them, she felt herself in freefall.
Winding her arms around his neck, she buried her face in the nook between his shoulder and neck, she whispered the words that were forbidden to any Maiden of the Hunt: "I love you."
Luke didn't know what to expect, but he hadn't entirely expected those words to come from her. His heart soared and if he'd been walking, he likely would have staggered. As it were, he remained leaning against the wall of the compartment and he closed his eyes, holding onto her almost desperately. It hurt, knowing that she loved him but they could never be together, and he wanted to just hold onto this moment, this joy for just a little longer.
Thalia wanted the same. As long as they stayed there, in each other’s arms, they didn’t have to think about the outside world. It could just be the two of them again, just like it had been so many years ago before everything went wrong.
But eventually reality would have to be faced, and Thalia still didn’t know what they were going to do. “Just remember this. No matter what happens, I love you, and I’m not going to lose you again.”
"I won't let you lose me," Luke said quietly. "I'll remember it. We'll...we'll figure something out. We don't have to- I'm not expecting anything, but I don't want to lose your friendship, either."
The problem was, she wanted things that a Maiden if the Hunt had no business wanting. "Maybe if the train brings Artemis again we can talk to her. Maybe she'll make an exception for us and release me from my vow." It was a long shot, but what else could they do?
"Maybe," he replied quietly. "I don't know if I would dare ask her. But you would know her far better than I do." Luke bit his lower lip, his heart hammering in his chest. "I don't want to hurt you. Or let you down."
It was no secret that he had once hurt her and let her down so there was no use pretending otherwise. "Well, next time a Titan asks to take over your body, tell him to take a hike," she said with a weak laugh. That was the least of their troubles, though. Even if they did encounter Artemis again, the goddess was more likely to turn him into a squirrel than release Thalia from her vow.
"I'll keep that in mind," Luke replied with a laugh. "I intend to try. I wish I'd been stronger then, but..Well. There's no point in living with regret- I just have to try to move past it now." He sighed again, closing his eyes. He had no idea what the goddess might do, but he knew it probably wouldn't be good for him or for Thalia.
Thalia draped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder again. “You have me now,” she said softly. “I’ll be with you for however long I can.”
Once Artemis came back into the picture - if she ever did - then they would have to pay the price, but until then, they might as well make the most of their time together.