Gloria Rush (his_universe) wrote in expresslogs, @ 2012-09-05 20:24:00 |
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Current music: | Sondheim's Company 'Sorry-Grateful' (slightly altered) |
Who: Gloria and Mr. Gold
What: Gloria sings about doubts she doesn't have, and runs into her husband's doppelganger
When: Late Wednesday afternoon
Where: Indoor observation car
Ratings/warnings: Not likely
Status: Closed/ongoing
It wasn't that she was incomplete without Nick, certainly not. She'd been finding plenty of ways to keep her mind busy--reading the network alone could take hours. And today she'd finally asked after finding some glasses, so at least getting that sorted would keep her busy for a bit. She'd thought of asking what the medical situation was, but every time she decided against it. Maybe it was because she didn't really know anyone. While she was more sociable than Nick, she still wasn't the type to randomly chat to strangers about anything that serious. And she didn't want any one to feel sorry for her once they found out about her illness. She didn't want pity or cheap condolences. She didn't fear dying, really--she just feared leaving Nick alone, like she felt she had now even if people said he'd have no idea she was gone. Nick would know. Somehow, she just felt it deep in her bones, evidence be damned. She knew him--which was why, unlike everyone else, she wasn't in the least bit afraid that he would abandon her when the time came. He'd be there. He always was.
That deep ache was the thing she was trying to distract herself from now, as she stood in front one of the windows. While she didn't like it nearly so much as the place they'd been passing through on her arrival, Gloria wasn't troubled by the darkness outside like some. She found it all rather fascinating, really, even if she could hardly see most of the creatures scuttling about much less define them. It was one of the many things that made her wish Nick was here--even through the windows he'd have had a million things to say about the lifeforms outside and would have annoyed everyone else while he delighted her. With a heavy sigh, Gloria closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the glass. She wasn't terribly surprised when she heard music trickling through her mind; that was actually fairly normal for her. What did surprise her was that she suddenly had the urge to sing. Blinking, she stood away from the window and started walking the course of the room.
You're always sorry
You're always grateful
You're always wondering what might have been
Then he walks in
And still you're sorry
And still you're grateful
And still you wonder
And still you doubt
And he goes out
Everything's different
Nothing's changed
Only maybe slightly rearranged
You're sorry-grateful
Regretful-happy
Why look for answers
Where none occur?
You always are
What you've always been
Which has nothing to do with
All to do with him
You're always sorry
You're always grateful
You hold him thinking
I'm not alone
You're still alone
You don't live for him
You do live with him
You're scared he's starting
To drift away
And scared he'll stay
Good things get better
Bad get worse
Wait, I think I meant that in reverse
You're sorry-grateful
Regretful-happy
Why look for answers
Where none occur
You'll always be
What you've always been
Which has nothing to do with
All to do with him
Nothing to do with
All to do with him
Gloria blinked, touching her hand to her mouth. Where in the world had that come from?