Meriadoc Brandybuck | The Lord of the Rings (kalimac) wrote in expresslogs, @ 2012-05-11 19:49:00 |
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Current music: | Where I Want To Be - Chess |
Entry tags: | !open, !plot, rose weasley |
Characters: Rose Weasley and OPEN!
When: Friday evening
Location: An empty (at the time) observation car
Warnings/Rating: None yet
Summary: Nope, witches are not immune to the singing attack...
Status: Plot, open
Since arriving on the train, Rose had had a great deal to think about. Meeting her parents as teenagers, coming to terms with the strange magic that was this train, meeting people such as Sirius Black and Remus Lupin who she had only known from her parents' stories...it was all a great deal to take in, even by someone who worked daily with the strangest mysteries in the world.
But the other thing that had hit her was how very lonely she was here. She had been lonely back home too, she supposed, but with work she was always so busy and there was very little time to think of it. And she always had her parents, and her family, if the weekends got to be too long. But here, without any of that, without any work to take up her time, her lack of talent in social niceties was becoming glaringly apparent.
And yet, this was the life she had wanted. It always had been. For the longest time, she'd scorned boys, she'd scorned friendship - it had never been something she'd needed in her life - and she'd always dreamed of having her job in the Department of Mysteries, and learning all the secrets of the world...only, now that she was there...
It was hard to explain. She loved her job. She loved what she did. But an Unspeakable didn't know all the secrets of the world. That was far beyond them. They worked with them. They tried very hard to understand them, but most of those secrets would be forever outside of Rose's reach, or the reach of any Unspeakable.
Still, it was the job she'd always wanted, and she didn't regret that part.
It was everything else, she'd regretted. Because what job was having the perfect life if you didn't have anyone to share it with? Outside of her large family, she had very few friends. She knew it was more than partially her fault - she didn't make herself available for people to get to know. And she had always worked so hard at school that she'd turned a good number of people down when it had come to social activities, and getting to know each other.
And here, on the train...well...everyone had friends. Everyone seemed to have someone they were shagging, or someone they had shagged. She didn't know if she was necessarily looking for that (and she blushed at the thought), but she would like to have someone to talk to, someone she could trust.
She would have liked to have something in her life other than her work.
As she sat, looking at the scenery, a song found itself, fully formed, in her mind. She'd never heard it before, but she felt almost compelled to sing it.
Like her father, Rose wasn't a great singer, but she had a sweet, innocent voice.
Who needs a dream?
Who needs ambition?
Who'd be the fool
In my position?
Once I had dreams
Now they're obsessions
Hopes became needs
Lovers possessions
Then they move in
Oh so discreetly
Slowly at first
Smiling too sweetly
I opened doors
They walked right through them
Called me their friend
I hardly knew them
Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I
always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's
someone
right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall.
When the crazy wheel slows down
Where will I be? Back where I started.
Don't get me wrong
I'm not complaining
Times have been good
Fast, entertaining
But what's the point
If I'm concealing
Not only love
All other feeling.
Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I
always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's
someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall
When the crazy wheel slows down
Where will I be? Back where I started.
Here's Josh Groban singing this song...from the very under-appreciated musical "Chess"