Lily Evans (emerald_eyes) wrote in expresslogs, @ 2012-04-12 22:28:00 |
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She'd noticed something off about the door as her hand fell to the handle, though it took a moment for it to register. Sirius' name, which had been on this door for months, was gone. Lily knew what gone names meant -- they'd moved, or they'd vanished. Sirius had given no indication he had intended to move, and even if he had noticed what she was up to ... he would have said something, not moved out of the room she'd more or less vacated. Even so, Lily made her way to the back of the sleeper cars and made her way slowly forward through them all, reading the names on the doors. She was keeping an eye out for his, but also making note of the names of those she'd gotten close to. Everyone that she'd wanted to find was here, save for Sirius -- and her son. Lily pressed a hand against what used to be Harry's door, unsure what to think. He'd gone and come back once; was it going to be like that again? How much was she supposed to be able to take of this? Was the train ever going to settle on a point in her son's timeline? Twice she walked the cars up and down, looking for her son's name, or the name of her friend and roommate. She found neither, and eventually she made her way to Severus' room. She didn't say anything at first, but she didn't trust her voice. Not then. She wrapped one arm around herself, the other dangling limply at her side. Her eyes welled with tears, and she bit down on her lower lip, but it wasn't enough to stop the sob that hitched her breathing. She knew he wouldn't care for their sakes, and she knew there were people she'd have to tell. Jaime, and Harry's mates, and her granddaughter ... but it could wait. At least for a few minutes. Lily managed to make it to the couch, and she settled down onto it, her arms wrapping around herself as she tried valiantly not to cry even as she knew it was a losing battle. Her son ... well, she knew how at least some of his future went, and it was fine to think he was home. But Sirius ... what he went back to was worse than the train. And he'd been here ... nearly as long as she had. He was familiar, and he was a presence, and now he was gone and what was to stop the train from someday taking her, sending her back? Or Sev, or anyone else here who didn't necessarily want to go back? Nothing, that's what. Lifting her head slowly, Lily looked to Severus. She wanted to tell him, but her words weren't quite working, so she settled for simply gazing up at him, wanting him to somehow know what it was. |