April Brennan (grey_sky_eyes) wrote in expresslogs, @ 2012-04-03 21:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | {april brennan, {roland matthews |
Avoiding only worked so long
Characters: April, Roland
When: Tuesday night
Location: their room
Warnings/Rating: none anticipated
Summary: having learned too much, April is finally ready to talk
Status: Complete
April hadn't ever really considered the idea that Roland would be involuntarily exposed to her secrets. She was of the mind that in the event they ever did come out, it would be because she'd made the conscious choice to confide in someone. She assumed the same stood for him, and ... the things she'd learned about him. If he'd ever wanted her to know what he felt, he would have told her. Or ... he wouldn't have told her, and she would have maintained her state of oblivion. They would have stayed friends who joked around and were just comfortable with each other. She liked Roland, and sometimes, all right, she thought they could have something -- if she wasn't so broken. But ever since ... everything with Brett, she'd known she couldn't do it. She couldn't settle down with someone. Marriage wasn't going to be for her, and if she ever did have a kid, she thought she'd be fine as a single parent. So ever since their unfortunate morning encounter, April had been ... dodging Roland. She'd been keeping mostly to herself and finding ways to pass the time that allowed her to just ... think about it. About what she wanted to do with the situation. She knew she was making it worse by avoiding it, but she just hadn't been able to handle it. She'd slept in one of the empty rooms, and she tried not to think about how he must be feeling about that. But her name was still on his door, so she figured the train hadn't taken the move as a permanent decision. While she still didn't want to talk about it -- any of it -- she figured she should before she damaged things irreparably between them. It had just been a huge shock and she'd needed time to process it. Making her way into the bedroom, she glanced around to see if Roland was there or not. |