The Exam: IC Community

I think someone might have misplaced their collage in the motel lobby.



I hope someone misplaced their collage in the motel lobby.

Rose Family + Motel Staff

I don't mean to pass any judgments on this hypothetical young woman based solely on her name, but I notice that the motel is unusually full. Did anyone happen to rent out some of these rooms by the hour again? It's an honest mistake that's happened to the best of us.

I'd take a moment to introduce myself, but I've never had much of a taste for performative modesty and of course, you already know me, Television's Moira Rose, from my tenure on the serial daytime drama Sunrise Bay as the capricious and cunning Vivien Blake. But there's no need to be intimidated! If there is anything you need, I'll be sure to have my husband Johnny Rose help you with it right away.

Now, I must welcome you, my esteemed and apotheosized guests, to our humble and unpretentious excursionist's getaway. I hope each and every one of you enjoyed your first sleep in our folksy bedsteads.

Please, allow Roland to have the honour of turning the sheets and tidying up your rooms while you enjoy all the wonderous rustic conveniences Schitt's Creek has to offer.

To the truly adventurous, I highly recommend a visit to Rose Apocathary for a taste of the countryside. Rose Apocathary carries only locally sourced, handmade products, such as soaps and hand creams, as well as wines and cheeses from nearby farms.

And for the bold and brave, Café Tropical will make you a lunch special unlike anything you, or the chef, has ever seen before. It's truly a once in a lifetime experience.

Good morning and welcome! My name is Johnny Rose, and along with my partner, Stevie Budd, I'm the proprietor of the Rosebud Motel.

We offer several amenities here, including fresh sheets and towels, a selection of more than three books and puzzles, and a jacuzzi that we're thinking about getting.

If you would like any suggestions for restaurants and activities around town, or anything else to make your stay more enjoyable, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Cordially, Johnny Rose