I'd take a moment to introduce myself, but I've never had much of a taste for performative modesty and of course, you already know me, Television's Moira Rose, from my tenure on the serial daytime drama Sunrise Bay as the capricious and cunning Vivien Blake. But there's no need to be intimidated! If there is anything you need, I'll be sure to have my husband Johnny Rose help you with it right away.
Now, I must welcome you, my esteemed and apotheosized guests, to our humble and unpretentious excursionist's getaway. I hope each and every one of you enjoyed your first sleep in our folksy bedsteads.
Please, allow Roland to have the honour of turning the sheets and tidying up your rooms while you enjoy all the wonderous rustic conveniences Schitt's Creek has to offer.
To the truly adventurous, I highly recommend a visit to Rose Apocathary for a taste of the countryside. Rose Apocathary carries only locally sourced, handmade products, such as soaps and hand creams, as well as wines and cheeses from nearby farms.