I've made mistakes and I've gotten people that I cared about killed. That's on me and I live with that. I don't sleep at night because I'm thinking about their faces. I can hear the promises that they made to other people, the lives that they wanted and can't have anymore. Those people had lives that mattered, not because they were cogs in some grand machine, but because they loved, and because they were loved. Their families and friends, and the jokes I remember them telling -- the people whose lives they touch - that's where the meaning is. Every individual person has an individual story, and it shouldn't be snuffed out by anyone else. The glory of a life is in those -- those small moments okay? Not some grand gesture.
If all people can remember about you is how you died then they never really knew you, right -- and I just -- Telling myself they died for the Resistance? Died to stop the First Order? That doesn't make easier. It doesn't bring them back and it doesn't change what I did. They all paid for my mistakes - no one else's.
It's not about dying for something, it's about living with what you have left. Making the galaxy better than it was during your time on it. I don't keep fighting to give purpose to the lives of those who died, or purpose to the death I'll probably face down sooner rather than later, I just believe that things can be better. That maybe they will be if the fighting stops and people are free to make their own choices.